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Meet Maria Sharapova, The One Who Didn’t Know Sachin Tendulkar. Also, She Plays Tennis

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By Bala Sai:

One day she admitted that she didn’t know who Sachin Tendulkar was. In less than 24 hours, every Indian with internet access knew who she was. Meet Maria Sharapova, the one who didn’t know Sachin Tendulkar. Also, she plays tennis.

maria-sharapova-sachin-tendulkar

In the span of just one press conference, she managed to invite the wrath of an entire nation. The internet was rife with colorful memes and tweets that mocked her, condemned her, threatened her, and insulted her. People were suddenly furious with her because she was dumb, racist, arrogant, disrespectful, and ignorant. People had issues with her wearing short skirts, stretching her muscles on the tennis net and even with her being a woman. She lost many fans, with some even going to the lengths of forsaking all of tennis. Thankfully, there were no suicides reported.

Theoretically, one could sympathize with her for her ignorance – After all, the poor lady was born in Russia and lives in America, two countries where cricket is more a scary, jumpy insect than an actual sport. But forget theory, you are dealing with India here!

I believe it is time Ms.Sharapova knew about our nation and how things work here. India is a mammoth country of 1.2 billion people (3 times as much as both Russia and the USA put together), and we have 26 Olympic medals in all of eternity, and we keep forgetting that. Our national game is hockey (last I checked), and most Indians can’t name one hockey player. Throw at us the world’s top-20 popular sports persons and watch us bravely scratch our heads and shrug. A 20-year old Bangladeshi cricketer is likely to be more popular here than the likes of a Martina Navratilova or a Pete Sampras; because in India, cricket is much more than just a sport.

One could sadly recollect that cricket once used to be a gentleman’s game before it came to India and festered into a religion. Cricket is an Indian’s claim to global recognition. It is a symbol, a shield, a matter of pride. But unfortunately, that isn’t where it stops. The Indian holds cricket too close to his chest; it is the only thing he’s got. An insult to the sport is bound to be taken personally. He finds it difficult to comprehend that it isn’t such a huge deal in most parts of the world. Inevitably, when an international sportsperson as popular as Ms. Sharapova doesn’t recognize the very God of cricket, not only has she blasphemed, she has insulted our entire country.

It doesn’t help that she is a woman either. Indians have the glorious distinction of whipping up a nation-wide controversy solely based on Sania Mirza’s short skirts. Ms.Sharapova’s innocuous comment is an excuse enough to unleash torrents of ‘Indian culture’ on her, throwing curses and abuses aimed at her womanhood, sagely advising her on how to be a ‘decent woman’ and teaching her to ‘respect’ her own game.

Browsing through the tennis star’s plagued Facebook wall is a definitely entertaining and potentially scary prospect. One of her recent photographs became a battlefield for warring Indians and Pakistanis (who have risen in support of Ms. Sharapova as means of enraging the Indians), as they exchange expletives and insults, displaying to the world the sub-continent in all its glory. Even innocent by-standers who dare question the attackers are insulted and driven away from the scene. For those who require excuses to escape the traps of rationality, there are also conspiracy theories alleging that Ms.Sharapova knew Tendulkar and was lying merely to insult him.

Though it is a surety that Maria Sharapova has been reminded sufficiently of the existence of a little man named Sachin, a sport named cricket and eventually a strange exotic country named India, our valiant cricket crazy internet population has exhibited to the world at large, just how childish and insecure we can be, when faced with even a minor bruise to our egos.

Now that Wimbledon is over, Ms. Sharapova might want to pay a visit to our country and learn about our ‘culture’, lest she should endanger her life in some future press conference. If she does choose to travel here, she might be warned by her country’s authorities of the dangers of being a woman in India, which just stops short of being a punishable offence. She might be told to refrain from wearing short clothes, using the street at nights, being seen in a pub or holding hands in public- all of which are seen as legitimate grounds for rape. She will most certainly be warned not to dare attempt crossing an Indian road without prior training or carry any sort of valuables with her anywhere. Maybe a few days in India will teach her some respect. She might at one point wonder why Indians would fume over some foreigner’s inconsequential statement when their country is reeking with so many problems that need attention, but hey, this is India. This is how we roll.

You must be to comment.
  1. The angry blonde

    This is just sad. People doesn’t have least decency. Shallow mentality and bigotry of our people will never change. :'(

  2. Eshita

    A well written thought………!!!

  3. Marvin

    Wow, that’s India and its so dumb. 12 billion people 3x bigger than US and Russia combine. And 3x dumber than anyone in the world. People of the world. This is INDIA.

    1. anish

      total world population is below 8billon, u knw? so I guess indian dumbness =3x(anyone in the world – you).
      i’m kidding, if u r gonna get furious 😀

    2. anonymous

      12 billion? wat a fool! it’s 1.2 bn.. moron

  4. Parul

    The most sad part is that we cant give any support to our own sport heros (not talking about cricket) and are adamant of giving a foreigner a lesson.. do these chaps know who Rajkumar Tiwari is?? a gold medalist struggling to get funds so as to represent our country in figure skating..!! None is god…proper facilities (if provided) and practice make a champion. The country where rape cases are at an alarming rate..how can u expect them to respect a foreign woman?? Abusing her on her facebook/twitter page, these ppl are bringing shame to the nation..very sad 🙁

  5. Parth Garg

    Great Article… But, Hokey as our national game???

    It was never our national game.. We never had a national game..

  6. Anubhav Shankar

    Articulate and to the point. Our insecurity is always looking for validation from well known personalities in order to make our achievements worthwhile , but, criticism not tot be tolerated at any level.

  7. Eshita

    Its so sad to see people scribbling nonsense after nonsense and blow up such a petty conversation of Maria Sharapova not knowing who Sachin Tendulkar is…..!! And what’s more sad is that we Indians are the ones contributing to such things, who are every now and then boasting about its rich culture and tradition…and giving respect being one of them….!!

  8. Gaurav

    I love both Tendulkar and Sharapova 😀

  9. neha

    Sharapova not knowing the legend was not an issue, ‘coz every being on the earth is not compulsorily meant to have known him, as “Throw at us the world’s top-20 popular sports persons and watch us bravely scratch our heads and shrug ” but definitely an attempt to insult was more than a crime, hurting sentiments of a large population.
    But then it is hard to believe a sportsperson(a tennis star) not knowing the other sportsperson(the legend in sports), the one who lies high above in the list of forbes than the former one.

  10. Pallavi

    We indians have to make a fool of ourselves at every opportunity we get. May lord, give them brains instead of egos when he makes the next batch of self-righteous Indians. Abusing sharapova on social sites wont help since she dont even care ;p Sincere request to the fools out there..stop coz ur embarrassing other fellow indians !!!

  11. praveen

    Hi bala,nice article but small correction. Hockey is not our national game.In fact there is no such thing called a national game.please check it and let me know if l am wrong.Anyways,article is good.

  12. Anirudh

    Nice humor… Great writing style!

  13. ashokseshadri

    The subject u choose is inconsequential. But i liked ur naration. Way to go.

  14. Suraj

    Hockey is our national game. The reason it’s not visible like cricket is that it does not get media coverage(at all!), the facilities, the funding and the support that it requires.
    A simple test – How many of you knew Milkha Singh before you saw the movie? Hardly anyone did. And yet today everyone suddenly seems to know his biography…

  15. Prashanth Balasubramanian

    Gr8 article bala ……… continue ur good work ………

  16. Apurva

    Totally agree

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