Why Do We Shy Away From Women’s Demand For Sexual Autonomy And Right To Pleasure?

Posted on September 3, 2014 in Sex, Society, Taboos

By Richa Priyanka:

In a country where the mere mention of the word “sex” raises all brows, the reports about more and more women coming forward and discussing their bedroom issues with their gynaecologists is nothing short of a radical change. Women are now demanding for their right to orgasm, as they are no longer as reserved as they once were.

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As per a Times of India article, at the National Conference of Sexology in Vashi, various national and international sex experts claimed that a sure change has come in the Indian bedrooms where women are no longer the same old shy and submissive partner in sex, and are rather demanding.

In the seminar, gynecologist Dr Ikshita Asagekar said, “Earlier, women used to consider sex merely as a marital duty towards their husbands. However, now Indian women are demanding their sexual right to orgasm and satisfaction. This is a radical change.”

A Hyderabad based gynecologist, Sharmila Majumdar receives two hundred emails per week from couples and individuals seeking help for the improvement and enhancement of their sex lives. Women approach her for a whole lot of sexual troubles like, orgasmic dysfunction, pain during intercourse and inability to be aroused. She said, “Earlier, women were not so open about their own sexual problems or physical problems of their partners. Now they are definitely taking bold steps and opening up about their sexual needs as they understand that sex is no longer limited to the bedroom, but it can affect their lives in the kitchen, the living room and the office as well.”

Dr Shirish Malde, a Mumbai based sexologist went on to say that, “Women now don’t feel shy to directly blame their husbands for their problematic sex lives. It could be due to the man’s erectile dysfunction to simply his unhygienic habit of eating tobacco or gutkha that puts off women and they are unable to climax. We have to gently talk to the couple and prescribe drugs if necessary to make their sex lives happy again.”

Sex isn’t a taboo, or a dark room activity any more, as more and more individuals come up to speak for their issues. The increased involvement of women, who aren’t as shy and reserved about sex as they were ten years ago says that we are in the era of massive change.

But, the problem that persists is, the major complaints that come up are from the people who are better off and come from a rich background. Delhi based gynecologist, Dr. Poonam Chaudhary, who mostly deals with patients that come up from a rather backward economic class told Youth Ki Awaaz, “The patients coming up to us are from low socio-economic status, so they aren’t pretty vocal in all such matters. So, they come up with common problems like discharge and infertility. No one explains about the sexual troubles that they are having. The more affluent classes are more comfortable to talk to doctors about all such problems, but, the people we deal with are not so vocal.”

In a country which gave the world The Kamasutra, the ignorance of sexual problems is a major irony. As the better half of the country is breaking old set rules and speaking for itself, the major part of the country still need the necessary break through to come into their lives. As Dr J K Nath said while addressing the conference, “…sex education needs to be a must in the country where sexually transmitted diseases, sexual abuse and crime are on such a hike and people know so little about how to ensure their safety and avoid the STDs.”

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