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18 Disturbing Stories Of Everyday Sexism That Reveal The Horrors Of Gender-Based Violence

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By Shreena Thakore:

Every act of sexual violence is nested within a much broader network of other social imbalances.

Instances of sexual violence cannot be isolated from the cultural context within which they occur. The prevalence of rape is a manifestation of a much larger social problem involving cultural norms, mindsets and attitudes toward gender. These mindsets and attitudes infiltrate every strata of society and lead to everyday incidents of gender-based discrimination. Often, such incidents tend to be ignored. The individuals perpetrating them can be unaware of the implications of their own actions, as most gender-based discrimination happens on a largely subconscious level.

The trivialization of gender-based discrimination leads to a culture of silence that strengthens existing discriminatory social systems. Daily occurrences – such as belittling boys for crying and expecting girls (but not boys) to learn cooking at a young age – can easily go unnoticed, because we think of gender roles as normal. Additionally, the fear of being stigmatized and ridiculed often keeps us from talking about our experiences. We are told to “not make a big deal and move on”. We remain silent because we think we are the only ones, or because we write off the problem as “trivial” and “not serious”.

Until we recognize the significance of seemingly “harmless” incidents and understand how they feed into the same imbalanced power structures that lead to rape, we will not be able to tackle India’s gender-based problem at its roots.

NCFW presents: Break The Silence is a campaign based on visuals created from anonymously submitted real-life stories of gender-based discrimination. No Country For Women (NCFW) asked you to share your experiences and make it known that it is not okay to continue sanctioning gender-based oppression. These visuals are meant to elicit conversation about what may otherwise get ignored or trivialized.

Email your submission to contact@nocountryforwomen.org with SUBMISSION as the subject.

Featured image credit.

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  1. Babar

    Feminism is two-faced and bigoted, full of hypocrisy and lies. Look at any article talking about violence against women, and it will be devoid of the violence that is perpetrated by other women. Feminists never bring up the issue of psychological violence perpetrated by women in households, on men and women. Feminists never talk about how violent women can be, their discussions will always be devoid of female murderers, they won’t write about female pedophiles, they are not concerned about female sexual predators, and the list is endless. A woman perpetrating crime, violence, and abuse in society on other women is never a subject of discussion. However, even if a man does something as remote as take a glance at a woman who looked like she forgot to finish dressing up, their is an uproar from feminists.

    Women’s cries about patriarchy are amusing. It doesn’t make a difference if 85% homeless are men, 70% of violent crimes are against men, 75% of murdered are men, 66% of suicides are committed by men, the top ten dangerous jobs are worked by men, the law is against men, women usurp half of men’s properties during divorces, courts give men stricter sentences for the same crimes committed by women, juries give verdicts against men in domestic disputes, men give alimony to women, there is a wave of misandry in the media, sexism against men is rampant, and men are being locked up in false cases of rape, dowry, and domestic abuse, etc.

    1. anika

      Oh so basically you’re on every blog woman-hating Barbaric stud! Why don’t you start your own blog platform which addresses men’s issues? Because bashing feminist blogs will not help men, and that is what feminism means.

    2. Cees Tompot

      fully agree Anika

    3. Antarik

      this is why we make fun of Emma watson when she says HeforShe i mean seriously ? Abuse on men is as real as abuse on women , instead of fighting each other it will make more sense if we fight those who abuse .. men women alike …

    4. Rishita

      A) I would really like to know where all the stats you are quoting come from!…. 70% of violent crimes against men, are perpetrated by??? 60% of suicides are committed by men because?? Are the reasons gender issues?? If yes, here lies the answer- Patriarchy backfires at men too… On one hand you people have a problem with women going out.. on the other hand you have a problem with the great expectations men have to live upto inorder to have a family… khud bhi nai karna hai, koi aur kare to bhi dikkat hai..! B) had you been well read on feminism, you would have known that feminists do talk about how women help reinforce violence against women…. C) If you read gender, u’ill know how the culture of socially constructing gender has inculcated violence in the behavior of men… women being violent to that extent is not common and hence less talked about.. Exceptions do not make a rule!! for instance, have you heard women perpetuating violence during riots/ being terrorists/running mafia gangs/raping??? they usually fall prey.. and the way they do will make you nauseous, so lets not talk about that! When violence against women is on a rise, it is a matter of great concern as to what is wrong with the culture inculcated in the men in this country… and hence it is more talked about.. unfortunately, the discussions mostly follow the opposite direction.. they are about the great Indian culture which surprisingly revolves around a piece of fabric and some skin!!!! Is it not enough for you, that this country still doesn’t understand violence against women, that you come up with your self cooked statistics!! We’ill talk about your problems when your leaving home after 8 becomes a taboo or even walking on the streets in broad daylight becomes problematic becoz of women..! I hope you never have to see such a day, coz what we want is just making life normal for women… Until that happens, please shut up!

    5. Antarik

      why do women have special coaches ? why do women get more interest in banks ? just makes no sense?
      How come women not doing a job is OK
      By a man not doing a job is shameless or useless and blah blah..

      How come man doing a job can marry a jobless women ..
      But reverse never happens ? a Man must a job to feed a family .

      If we are talking about gender stereotypes why not Women too should do a job .

      SO this will continue men abusing women and women abusing men unless we Fight against abusers instead of men or women …

    6. Rishita

      You see Antarik, when no amount of persuasion and praying worked to bring some over-active men on track (you know ones who are ever-ready to lay their hands on a woman/ pass lewd remarks) the government thought that women should have an option of an all women’s coach… minimum 8 number of coaches are always there.. relax!! you still have 7!! the number of women getting on to the other coaches is very few… have you, by any chance, noticed the length of the que at the security check??? anyway, since mindsets cannot change in a day, women have been given the OPTION of travelling in a separate coach.. of course this cannot end crimes, but that is not the intent…. it is just for some temporary relief from sexual harrassment…! then come the gender stereotypes… understanding that requires reading in this field which cannot be compensated through articles and write-ups on fb… but to put it in a nutshell (this is going to be long!) it goes like this— there was a time when there existed no institution of marriage… that was the “hunting and gathering” stage you would have read about in history… women equally participated outside home (whatever work that involved in those times)… however, with the concept of property coming in, and inspite of the fact that women could equally efficient in earning and acquiring property, they were confined to homes and stereotypes such as women ought to “nurture” and “care” and be “homely” and men ought to go out and be the “bread winner” came up (this is referred to as “social construction of gender”)… reason?? well women were confined to homes because men feared that women could be infidel and they (men) might end up passing on their property to a child which their wife might have got from some other man… that fear is genuine, but don’t you feel focus should have been on building relationships than on confining women?? women were also made to believe that they are not capable of making decisions… all this has come down the ages and the erstwhile title of “the bread winner” has probably become a sort of burden hasn’t it?? that’s why feminists say, “patriarchy backfires at men too!”.. just like the “bread winner” stereotype, women staying at home is still considered acceptable… with time we have managed to get access to educational institutions and opportunities (with sexual harassment in these spheres too) and hopefully with the trend of “working wives” (to the disappointment of many) catching up, we probably see a day when we stop socially constructing gender and girls are also brought up in a way that they consider it of utmost importance to earn a living themselves….

      Last but by no means least…. for a moment, just compare… women fighting against sexual harassments, rapes, on one hand and men complaining about a reserved coach and more interest rates on the other…!

    7. NotAnymore

      It does not end with reservations. Personally I am more than happy to give a compartment for women. But it does not end there. Reservation in Parliament (because if you are women you are better at governing?), ability to accuse anyone of rape and get conviction without evidence (based on testimony of the complainant), fee concessions for girls in schools (why not for boys? because all boys can afford education by default), gender biased laws including dowry, divorce and alimony laws, child custody. The problem is no article talks about it anywhere, no news channels reports or questions it. No feminists in India dare to raise voice against it because then they will targeted for trying to take privileges away from women. You don not get equality by asking and standing for preferential treatment. That right there is the problem with feminism.

    8. Templetwins

      there was a time when there existed no institution of marriage… that was the “hunting and gathering” stage you would have read about in history… women equally participated outside home

      Yes as gatherers but most of the hunters were men, as the average men were faster and stronger than an average women, he was given the role of a hunter and she was gatherer who raised the children being away from the wild, there was no police, no road etc. Men were taming the wild and brought the food on the table, women and children were confined to the homes because they weren’t as disposable as men, for the strength of the tribe depends on the reproductive value of the women and the disposable of men where they can be sacrificed at the expense of women and children. We were confined to the roles which we were naturally best at and there existed a contract between men and women based on this gender roles. After the civilization and industrial revolution , women were free from their gender roles, instead of showing gratitude she began to see herself as a victim of men which was socially constructed, so with the advent of feminism all the obligation as a wife and mother is withdrawn which is good, but she still retained the privileges which came with the gender roles, while men still has the obligation towards his wife and family and the privileges he had has been withdrawn by calling it sexism. So by dismantling patriarchy you are free but you enslaved the men by saying he is the maker of his own demise.

    9. Amrit

      Finally someone who truly understands how rotten Indian culture is in reality and even more appalling are those who defend the so called “Indian Culture”. I mean which “Indian culture” are they talking about, castism, sexism, child marriage, dowry, are these things really something to be proud of?

    10. SHIRISH

      Babar. You seem very Babarous. 😀

    11. Ace

      Obviously you have no idea what feminism is and what it stands for. Suggest you look it up before making yourself look like an idiot again.

    12. D Gill

      I’ve come to the conclusion that Babar enjoys looking like an idiot and that he gets most of his statistics from Saas Bahu serials.

    13. Babar

      Comments from feminists are abusive and taunting in nature because they can’t defend their absurd and bizarre theories in a rational manner, want men to succumb to their lies and deceits about liberation, and want everyone to follow their whims and desires.

    14. Joe

      The true meaning of feminism is equality of men and women. It is not only to bring justice for women but men also. Women might be physically weaker than men and so on, that is there might be some factors where physically or in any other way women and men are not the same but what this world wants to achieve is the thinking of every man and woman that they are equal and have the right to choose what they want.

      What part of this statement do you find offensive?

    15. A man

      Mr Babar , I AM saying you are the biggest Educated illiterate i have come across. you simply are stating a patriarchal point of view in the present scenario . you simply refuse to understand the point of this particular post. this post is meant to enlighten us how wrong we are to assume that whatever ” legacy” that has been passed down to us is not fully acceptable in this current scenario , you simply cannot drag in feminism everywhere.you seem to be frustrated by the success that women have achieved , by the fact that women are getting to the same level and superseding you , on the fact that a there might come a time in the very near future , when it will be tough to decide who runs the house. you seem to be angry with women asking for what is rightly theirs and murderous towards those women who are already above you and you cant even question their excellence.to tell the truth , you are simply taking out the frustration from some personal grudge against a member of your family . if you are un married , i pray to all the goads that you get a wife who can bash you . and if you have already been married , then god bless her , she needs it .

    16. Amrit

      What is actually revolting is that he’s not the only one. If you’ll talk to the entire male population of this country more than 70-80% (that too when I’m being generous) I’m pretty sure would have views on the similar line.

    17. Amrit

      In fact not only the male population but majority of female population of this country have also played a role in condoning gender inequality.

    18. Prerna

      Oh! I feel so bad for Babar!!!! So clueless, fighting misconceptions! Wonder if he will ever know what Feminism really means?! I hope you find enlightenment some day on this!

    19. aru

      Wow. I haven’t read so much hate in one page for such a long time.
      Specially babar.
      It’s almost like the women all around him have been plotting against, bashing, killing men.
      My family was a nuclear one – me, my father and mother.
      And we used to visit both their families once a year for months at stretch. To tell you the truth I could see the vast difference between their thinking.
      My mom started as a housewife because she had me right after she finished her studies. My dad was an ias officer so it wasn’t like we needed more money. Being a housewife is a big role. If it weren’t for his own family my father would have been unemployed like the rest of his brothers ( three of them) . My mother taught me after I came back from school, my father I never saw. She taught me how ride a cycle, she taught me how to defend myself against any attacks she also taught me to respect elders but speak my mind when I thought something was wrong.
      My dad died when I was in seventh and my mom took charge of raising me on her own. She never remarried to get a rich husband so she could relax and watch tv.
      Babar. There are women who are gold diggers and there are men who are the same as well. Psychological trauma – is not just given by women. My grandfather ( paternal) threatened to douse me in kerosene and burn me because they thought I killed my father ( by giving him cancer). Feminists may be passionate about their rights but I support equal rights, that’s all. You talk about men going to war and men doing heavy labour. It seems like you don’t go out much. Women are fighting to be at the borders, they say they are capable, the men refuse to give them such posts, women have been doing hard labour alongside men for a long time. While caring for the children, making food etc.
      My own uncle tells me if I want I should join the army, he is an army officer and the female officers he has seen are respected and certainly nobody to mess around with.
      You can’t make a certain differenciation between a woman and a man, everyone actually starts a female and with time genetics decide whether you are going to be a male or a female. Talk about exceptions they are such because it’s been very less time since women have been allowed to do most of the things.
      There are already coo and ceos of various multinational companies that are women and soon enough there will be enough successful women to go around. it’s not a woman’s duty to stay at home and look after the kids, women and men both can be nurturing or plain ambitious and inclined towards earning money. It’s how they have been raised, their own genetic wiring etc.
      Giving an argument about psychological trauma vs. Physical – rape and molestation has both. Just like getting hit or injured in a war, rape also causes ptsd.
      Hope some of this information reaches you.
      Tc.

  2. SHIRISH

    “Girls can never be good programmars”.. hahahahahahaha…!! WTF? World’s very first programmar was a woman. Her name was Ada Lovelace. Get a Life No-Programmar Guy.

    1. Templetwins

      Here’s a little info for you and those who aren’t aware.

      Charles Babbage, a mathematician and inventor, had designed the first computer, a mammoth device that would be capable of doing arithmetic. The machine was never built, but he travelled and did public talks about the concept, trying to raise funding and interest for it to be built. Ada Lovelace discovered the idea through his talks, and she took an interest in his machine concept.

      Babbage took the mathematician Ada under his wing. He mentored her, and helped her to understand his device (which had not yet been made, and never actually was made). During her time under his wing, she put together some notes, inside of which historians discovered a program, which they called the first program meant to be run by a computer.

      So Charles Babbage designed a massively complicated computer, which apparently (according to historians) would have functioned properly if built, yet he never, at any point, came up with a hypothetical program to run on this invention? The invention which existed solely to be given programs to run?

      Though Ada Lovelace is often referred to as the first computer programmer, there is disagreement over the extent of her contributions, and whether she can accurately be called a programmer. Allan G. Bromley, in the 1990 essay Difference and Analytical Engines, wrote, “All but one of the programs cited in her notes had been prepared by Babbage from three to seven years earlier. The exception was prepared by Babbage for her, although she did detect a ‘bug’ in it. Not only is there no evidence that Ada ever prepared a program for the Analytical Engine, but her correspondence with Babbage shows that she did not have the knowledge to do so.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ada_Lovelace#Controversy_over_extent_of_contributions

    2. Fem

      So your point is that women cannot be good programmers?

    3. Templetwins

      Is that what you got from it Fem. If you check my previous comment, I had explained my views. How many software developers are there in India? How many of them are women and how many of them are men? When you get down to it, you would know about that generalization. Generalities exist. A bigot thinks there are no exceptions. An idiot thinks everyone is an exception. I am neither.

      Femofacist:- Complains that it is due to sexism that there is lack of women in tech, programming but chooses womens studies course.

    4. ze

      this is horribly misinformed. it IS because of sexism that women can’t go into programming; i am a female programmer. i cannot explain to you how many women i know that have wanted to go into programming but didn’t simply because the career path is so imbalanced gender-wise and women think that they will be unable to last and might even be harassed BECAUSE of their gender. no one believes that a women is smart enough to last in something including computer science. you cannot use one case to justify a problem as magnanimous as this.

      women will choose that women studies course instead of programming because they literally feel that they will be SAFER and more approved of everyone there. that is why we need feminism. get your crap femofacist definitions outta here when you have no idea about the reality of the inequality of the sexes and have never experienced it.

    5. Bee

      Such stigma is faced everywhere an orthopaedic surgeon chief resident (sounds so respectful right?) told me and my female friends that even if we do not get through post graduate competitive exam what was the big deal (ya sure we studied for pmt had a dream to become a doc and are studying continuously for that no big deal like we do not have dreams) because “girls” will get married no matter what ……hmmm born only for getting married right as if being a doc was a way to pass time till we get a guy to marry

  3. Templetwins

    “The worst form of inequality is to try to make unequal things equal.” – Aristotle

    First of all there is no proof that all these things actually happened. Lets go through one by one.

    You are born in a conservative society people are going to be up in arms if they find you hanging around with opposite sex, but you do have the freedom to hang around though, but you don’t have the freedom to claim exemption from others critiques.

    You have an aggressive conservative boyfriend who obstructs your freedom to wear low cut tops to show your cleavage to everyone, dump him. I am sure there are guys who doesn’t mind you flaunting.

    Your identity changes from Ms to Mrs because to show the world that you are taken and he(husband) has obligation towards the wife, he must provide her food, shelter and money and not the other way around. Throughout centuries(swayamvara) it is always men who had to approach the women and propose her, so they need to know if you are taken or if you are single, hence the usage of mangalsutra or sindoor. If you don’t want any of this then better free men from their obligation(financial) towards you and you go and propose men and ask them out as much, then we would have some signs for men too.

    Your sari-clad principal emphasis the value of your vagina in the social market and how predatory men are. It is an insult to both men and women.

    In our societies brothers also have a financial obligation towards his family unlike the sisters. A brother is expected to spend money on his siblings marriage and education if the father is dead or retired etc. The number of brothers who take such a role is vast when compared to women who is forced into this financial obligation. A man has to provide for his wife n childern and siblings for which he is given first preference in food. It was an old social contract. You don’t like the contract, free men from their obligation (to his family and siblings) and have as much parathas you want.

    Well that is because men are enforced into this provider roles right from the early age, they are forced, belittled to become successful and excel in his career. So when you perform excellently they say you are as good as a son. Not a womens issue, it affects both men n women.

    In my school if we were to lift benches it is always boys who were expected to do the heavy lifting while the girls stand there doing nothing. So yea, a little respect for doing your work. We live in a barter system you want some, you give some.

    Acid skin. I don’t even know what to say that. she sounds retarded. What is the point of it? I don’t get it.

    Oh yea lewd comments is the thing but your husband was fighting with those guys. Again a man is expected to be a provider and protector for you. You only focused on the lewd comments and not the reinforcement of his gender roles.

    Yes because in our society there’s hardly any stay at home husband and men are forced into labor to provide women and her family for a life time. Not a womens issue again. A stay at home mom is the most easiest job in the world after the industrial revolution. Ask Bill Burr https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoJrMaFlxOk

    Yeaa grandmother threatened, most of the misogyny and misandry is perpetrated by women. We hardly talk about it because feminist insist on the duluth model.

    IIT teacher said that because thats the ground reality. You are settled if you find a guy who finishes his IIT, that’s a female privilege we hardly discuss about. She actually have more choices in life than a man do.

    The next point is the same. Women can choose to work and not have families; women can choose to have families and not have to work but if a man chooses to have a family he will be forced to work as much as if not more than a woman is forced to choose between work and family. If a man chooses to have a family a woman can choose to disallow it with divorce, abortion, protective orders taken based off of false pretenses, etc. and the man will be forced to accept it. Women have more choices than men do.

    Parents fear for their daughters more because they could get pregnant which has physical, social and financial issues in a family and men can’t get pregnant.

    If parents are unaware then spread awareness. Parents aren’t unaware about a lot of things like IRBM, 498a etc yet they still enforce their sons into marriage. Spread awareness that’s what I do.

    You could ask them(quora) to make a question specifically for HER too. Perhaps that question is for an interesting Indian man. You have to take everything egoistically and complain about everything.

    How many software developers are there in India, how many are women and how many are men? When you get down to it you would know about that generalization. Generalities exist. A bigot thinks there are no exceptions. An idiot thinks everyone is an exception. I am neither.

    1. TT

      You are both. You just haven’t realized it yet.

  4. Babar

    Rishita, if feminism is really about fighting violence against women, then why don’t feminists talk about mothers-in-law, who are the biggest perpetrators of violence against women, daughters-in-law, who poison their husbands minds against family members, and sisters-in-law, who have mastered the art of family politics. It is women who break families apart, and cause other women immense pain. Among the ocean of articles on violence against women, is there a single article which talks about violence perpetrated on women by women? If not, why not?

    There is just as much violence against men as there is against women, be it rape, murder, domestic violence, abuse, and taunts from wives, and false cases of dowry, rape, molestation, and assault. Men, generally, do not report violence by women because it is considered unmanly to do so. Furthermore, you can also be a victim of death threats from feminists if you dare raise your voice against domestic violence perpetrated by women (Google Erin Pizzey).

    People sympathize with women’s causes because of the hype in the media about violence against women, and the media selectively chooses to represent issues of one gender only due to the element of attention associated with it – It is almost as though violence against men does not exist (Please search “violence against men” in YouTube).

    The draconian laws in India have done nothing to further the cause of men, as a woman only needs to point a finger at a man to land him in jail over false allegations of rape, dowry, assault, domestic abuse, molestation, etc. Women do this without a care in the world about a man’s life, future, career, family, reputation, etc.

    Men are always at the receiving end, men are victimized, tormented, and traumatized, and it is not surprising that suicide by men is escalating in India – A man in India commits suicide every 6 minutes. Twice as many men commit suicide as compared to women in India.

    As many as 1,35,445 people committed suicide in the country last year. Statistics released by the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) show that excluding West Bengal, 79,773 men and 40,715 women had taken the extreme step (The Hindu).

    According to the Canadian statistics on gender equality:

    Women receive physical custody of 92% of all children of separation, and men only 4%, women are acquitted of spousal murder at a rate 9 times that of men, men are sentenced 2.8 times longer than women for spousal murder. Furthermore, men commit suicide at 4 times the rate of women, live an average of 7 years less than women, account for more than 95% of all workplace fatalities, and are murdered at a rate 5 times that of women.

    1. Rishita

      You still did not get my point…! firstly, if your study on feminism is restricted to articles on this website, or other websites.. God help you!! You need to read books alright!!! read Kamla Bhasin or maybe Nivedita Menon… I would tell you more if I could remember..! Then when i say that feminists do talk about reinforcement of violence against women by women, mother-in-laws are covered their… again where on one hand i don’t understand how “innocent” men get “poisoned” and separated from their families (i mean is your love for them that weak!) on the other hand I’ill still say that this is not a gender issue…! we are talking about gender issues here… You can handle you relationships and stay with your family… but handling violence is a different story all together!! as far as murder cases court is not concerned if you are a man… if evidence points towards your guilt, u are convicted…. now divorce… Let me tell you how custody of children is decided… and i am not telling you something just in the air, I am an LL.B student.. if u analyze case laws, you’ill see that if the child is of such age that the court can consider it to be mature enough to decide to which parent he/she wants to go, the child is asked…. in other cases, father is preferred over mother if the mother doesn’t have enough means.. it is when the mother has enough means and the child is too young that she is given custody… so if majority of the times the mother has been given custody, it is either that the children have chosen her or they are too young and she has means to support them… when the children choose the father, or the mother doesn’t have means, they go to the father… A certain judicial intent goes behind it which i doubt you can appreciate..! but in one line- “welfare of the child” is the prime concern in divorce proceedings or adoption cases… Also, all the murders and suicides… are they gender issues??? Do not loose the track… we are addressing gender issues here…. Surely, the rising number of crimes and suicides is a concern… but you need to draw a line between other crimes and gender issues…! Crimes need to dealt with policies different from those for gender issues… Anyway, do read..! for heavens sake!! A mere enlightenment on how subjugation of women started will make you understand how the current scenario has shaped up,…

    2. Templetwins

      Rishita during the olden days (not just in India), the default custody was given to the father since he is the sole bread winner of the family. Then came along a feminst by the name ‘Caroline Norton’ who initiated the ‘tender years doctrine’ where the child would would given unto the mother by default, even if the mother isn’t capable of providing financially during divorce. They just rip off the husbands money and property and financial enslavement through alimony and child-support was introduced. This is the norm for several years now. We Indians who ape the west in social reforms cherry picked all misandrous laws and established it here. Divorce is incentiviced for women, hence women initiate 70% of it.

      You also said ‘we are talking about gender issues here… You can handle you relationships and stay with your family’

      That is a victim-blaming by its definition. DV laws covers if the husband is psychologically abusing the wife, even if he fails to give her money or yell at her it is considered as domestic abuse. But the abuse that women perpetuates towards men is not even recognized by law, feminists made it that way, research on the duluth model, even NOW which is a huge womens organization is pushing the same sort of ideologies even if there is evidence that men experience domestic violence at similar, if not larger, quantities than women do. It’s well documented there is bibliography which examines 271 scholarly investigations, 211 empirical studies, and 60 reviews and/or analyses, which demonstrate that women are as physically aggressive, or more so, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners.

      You also said ‘Also, all the murders and suicides… are they gender issues??? Do not loose the track… we are addressing gender issues here’

      There is a gender empathy gap between men and women. That is a biggest concern of why we aren’t empathic towards mens issues. Like Warren Farrell put it ‘Men’s greatest weakness is their facade of strength, and women’s greatest strength is their facade of weakness’. This is the main cause of the negligence to mens suicide rate or murders and the media coverage which hardly miss out the word men when they become a victim.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZAuqkqxk9A

    3. Kank

      Take some time to read this and her other blogs
      http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/2012/05/19/weird-funny-facts-about-misogynists/

      You’ll know what feminism actually is.

  5. Babar

    The problem is, men remain quiet when women indulge in male bashing, and if someone dares to raise their voice against the blatant sexism, he is immediately labelled a misogynist. And noticing men’s silence, more women join in, and they also have the support of men who crave attention and recognition, and want a sense of belonging, just like their female counterparts. Even on this blog, most comments from feminists are abusive and taunting in nature, because they can’t defend their absurd and bizarre theories. Also, type ‘sexism against men’ and ‘misandry in the media’ and ‘violence against men’ in the YouTube search box to see how widespread and prevalent crimes are against men.

    1. Fem

      Haven’t come across any male bashing here. In articles or in comments. I only come across female bashing in every word you write. speaks volumes right?

      Please point or give links where male bashing happened here. We would discuss them then.

      And if you cannot answer my question, please don’t bother replying.

    2. Akshita Prasad

      I know how many ever words i use, i can talk sense into you, so u rather watch this.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwl7olQ54iw

    3. Babar

      Invented figures and exaggerated theme. Nice propaganda.

    4. sofiya

      well i saw how much sense you made in your post comments… and i don’t really have to watch this video i knw how to stand for ma rights… and i wish you get your peace of mind i m sure there must have been some tragic story of yours.. and i request to all the people on this forum to plz pray for this guy.. GET WELL SOON @Babar

  6. Babar

    For countless women, being a homemaker and motherhood is more prestigious than any award or recognition work outside the home brings. However, feminists are calling for more women to work outside the home, even if it comes at the expense of children, who are being left to grow in the care of nannies, day care centres, domestic help, in-laws, and babysitters. For a woman today, her status and career comes first, family later. Women are makers of families, but feminists want to break families, which is why they spew venom at the very thought of a woman being in the comfort and security of her home, and they lead women to believe, through false theories and notions, that they will be happier working outside the home. Today’s working woman is proud and egotistical, who argues incessantly with her husband over petty things, and leaves her children in other people’s care as she goes to work. Today’s working woman cannot save her family, and she talks about saving the world.

    1. Heir of Timur

      Babar. How much more barbaric can you be?
      You are right though, children need a parent fin there growing years. But why does it have to mean the mother leaving her job/career/dreams and raising the child? Can’t the father do it? Let us say, the man sits at home and raises the child and the woman can earn bread for the family. Now that shouldn’t have any problem, right? After all, the man should take pride in raising his child. It is no easy job. Fatherhood is as essential and prestigious as you say motherhood is. This will lead to the saving of the family and also, just as a woman should have no problem being financially dependent on her husband(as you said), a man wouldn’t either.! 🙂 Why should a man earn when his wife can do it? He could easily do with some rest and not to mention the honour of raising a kid? 😀

    2. Babar

      Timur, women are more attached to their children than men are, and the mother-child bond is stronger than the bond between father and children. Biologically and psychologically, women are supposed to have and raise kids.

    3. Akshita Prasad

      Well, i am so glad people like you exist. Because i was trying to convince my friends that people do come here from MARS, who don’t see how it really is out there for women.

  7. Rishita

    Babar… You seem like one of those characters straight out of my books on gender… people who propounded and reinforced such notions that women are “meant to be at home”…. anyway.. it seems all your knowledge is confined to youtube, facebook and YKA articles… I can only laugh at you.. no use arguing with an ill-informed person.. Ignorance is bliss.. enjoy! unless you want to come to light.. study and broaden your frame of reference!! signing off!

  8. Babar

    Rishita,

    Psychological violence can often be more harmful than physical violence, and it is a fact that mothers-in-law take the lead when it comes to perpetrating violence against men and women, namely sons-in-law and daughters-in-law. Sisters-in-law are famous for plotting, planning, and scheming, and daughters-in-law are not far behind. Grandmothers are also competitive when it comes to psychological violence – It is women who are responsible for the misery of women. Needless to say, feminists take the lead, whose sole agenda is to break families apart. Ever since the commencement of the feminist movement, divorce rates have shot through the roof.

    It is a woman’s natural inclination to want love and protection. However, feminists don’t want women to follow their natural instincts because that would mean peace and harmony would prevail, which is detrimental for the feminist cause. Feminists want to divide and rule. They want to create a war between the sexes so that they can get attention and funding. In the early 1960s, it was the Rockefellers who funded feminism to send women in the workforce and earn tax dollars, today feminists are funded by governments, feminist activists, and various pro-feminist groups to keep their propaganda alive.

    “The nuclear family must be destroyed, and people must find better ways of living together.” – Linda Gordon, Function of the Family, Women: A Journal of Liberation, Fall, 1969.

    “We can’t destroy the inequities between men and women until we destroy marriage.” – Robin Morgan, Sisterhood is Powerful, 1970, p.537.

    “No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one.” — Simone de Beauvoir, “Sex, Society, and the Female Dilemma” Saturday Review, June 14, 1975, p.18

    “Marriage has existed for the benefit of men; and has been a legally sanctioned method of control over women… We must work to destroy it. The end of the institution of marriage is a necessary condition for the liberation of women. Therefore it is important for us to encourage women to leave their husbands and not to live individually with men.” -The Declaration of Feminism, November 1971.

    “Women, like men, should not have to bear children… The destruction of the biological family, never envisioned by Freud, will allow the emergence of new women and men, different from any people who have previously existed.” — Alison Jagger – Political Philosophies of Women’s Liberation: Feminism and Philosophy (Totowa, NJ: Littlefield, Adams & Co. 1977).

    “In order to raise children with equality, we must take them away from families and communally raise them.” – Dr. Mary Jo Bane, feminist and assistant professor of education at Wellesley College and associate director of the school’s Center for Research on Woman.

    “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle” – Gloria Steinem.

    “I want to see a man beaten to a bloody pulp with a high-heel shoved in his mouth, like an apple in the mouth of a pig.” – Andrea Dworkin from her book ‘Ice and Fire’.

    “Men who are unjustly accused of rape can sometimes gain from the experience.” – Catherine Comin, Vassar College.

    “All sex, even consensual sex between a married couple, is an act of violence perpetrated against a woman – Catherine MacKinnon

    “All men are rapists and that’s all they are” – Marilyn French, Author

    1. Rishita

      Oh so you bring psychological violence in now! great! you are talking about everything but gender issue…! “planning and plotting” lol.. K-serials?? Divorce has been on a rise since the advent of feminist movements?? even if that is true, probably u’ve chosen to look at it in a particular way.. you probably don’t realise that before the movement many women were tolerating the violence.. its good that they realized that there’s no family where there’s violence… of course u’ill come up with another “but” now saying “but all the divorces are not for genuine reasons!”.. anyway, if i poison u against somebody and you leave them, I sure am bad, but its ultimately your fault!! is ur relationship with your parents that weak!! can you not manage relationships?? again, is this a gender issue?? and… That’s all you have?? quotes!!! Ok now i am not wasting another minute on this!! my last comment here in which i will reiterate what have been telling you… READ!!! SELECTIVE SEARCHING on google and youtube can never give you an insight on ANY subject..!! to know an issue or subject you have to read books or maybe research papers.. u understand me??? READ!!! what the above people say is not feminism.. or what you think happened to you or your friend because what your girlfriend did to you will not make feminism any different from what it is… I can quote Aristotle’s views on women here or of many foreign authors… what would that prove?? Maybe an insight into what the Indian male thinks today is of some use here… but i recently saw a video on that and i don’t want to puke again.. besides i don’t give evidences from youtube… Gosh!!!

  9. Sachin

    Just the regular cliched feminist article! -_- I mean seriously even men are tired of listening to the same things over and over again. Maybe for a change you feminists should start reading some male psychology too and see how bad some of our lives are as well!

    1. Maya

      oh boo, I don’t actually read of articles where men are kidnapped as an instrument of war, bought and sold and raped. I dont see any articles about women being paid more than men for the same job, I don’t see any articles about men being passed over for promotions in favor of a woman. No matter how bad your life is, know that if you had been born a woman, every single circumstance of your life would have been far worse. If you’re tired of hearing the same things over and over, then perhaps it’s time to get out and make a change so that this ISN’T an issue anymore as it has been since the beginning of time.

  10. Rishita

    Templetwins, social construction of gender, from whenever it existed has been proved to be wrong time and again… I’ill give you a small example here….. compare a woman wrestler with a non-wrestler man.. what’s the difference??? does the sex change becoz of the strength factor?? is it nature that brought this strength? no. its because of the way she was brought up and the mental conditioning….the above article talks about such mental condition…… that how differences (which are not natural) are fed into the brains of people in myriad ways through small things… from how some women have recovered from the horror of rape and given to society to the ladies who are a part of forces who rascue or catch wild animals n forest departments (I know of one who was in news) to girls topping the board exams year after year to umpteen more things I have every reason to believe that there is nothing that men or women are “naturally” good at…. to some extent genes do play a role, but rest is a result of up-bringing….. “instead of being grateful” for what??? for men being stupid (or shud i say clever) so as to not being able to understand the difference between hunting and roles outside the home that one had to play post civilization??? for making women believe tha they are incapable of making decisions so that they don’t question the gender roles?? patriarchy also conditioned the thinking of women that even led to women standing against women who wanted to breakaway from the shackles of patriarchy… as I said, the answer to some of your griefs in todays world is this- patriarchy backfires at men! men asserted that they are “naturally” superior, so now ofcourse that will take a lot of time to go…. until then “mard ko dard nahin hota” is the notion that’s here to stay unfortunately…. besides when i say draw a line between gender issues and other issues, it no where means that other issues will be neglected..! they’ill be dealt with as something different from gender issues….. bringing murders and suicides within the fold of gender issues just on numbers.. reasons are more important.. then again somebody talked about the conviction rate…. one will see it as men are more violent, they commit more crimes, evidence proves that and hence the convictions… another will assume that men are being wrongly convicted…! and we ape other countries in our divorce proceedings too??? why?? aren’t women “naturally” more attached to her children even as per the mentality prevailing in our country?? isn’t she being given the role that’s best suited to her?? anyway….. last but not the least… I read all your comments… I am impressed how well read you are! unless you’ve been selectively googling, i am actually impressed….

    1. Babar

      You fail to acknowledge that the biggest perpetrators of violence are women, whether in the form of mothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, or daughters-in-law, you refuse to accept that men are victims of sexism, violence, and misandry, you choose to selectively reply when you are given a response, and now you won’t admit that men are stronger.

      In different sports requiring feats of physical strengths such as taekwondo, karate, judo, weightlifting, or even something as simple as lifting heavy bags from the supermarket, men take the lead. Men and women do not compete against one another in contact sports, for the simple reason that men are physically stronger. Yes, there are exceptions. There are some women who are physically stronger than men. However, it remains what it is. An exception. And please tell me why you have written ‘women wrestler’ and not ‘female wrestler’. When it is perfectly acceptable to use the word ‘male’, then why are you against the usage of the word ‘female’.

    2. Maya

      I don’t see where you’ve cited your sources for your statement “…the biggest perpetrators of violence are women”. Last time I checked, it was men you waged wars, men who used mass rape as a weapon of war and men who condoned violent sports throughout history (gladiator sports, wrestling, boxing, etc). As you said, women (or females, big whoop, I really don’t care about either word) are biologically weaker, and are thus almost always the victims of violence. From the framing of your comment, it seems to me that you’re possibly bullied by your mother in law. The most surprising thing about this is that a woman actually consented to marry you. Or maybe she didn’t. A lot of women don’t get to marry whom or when they want. In any case, you might find it more helpful to change your attitude and respect the women in your life, rather than be dumb on random websites (or at least see a therapist for your “issues”). Women are denied education, employment, the right to choose their spouses, the right to be financially independent (by not being paid the same wages for comparable jobs), and are raped, beaten and devalued. I don’t know what world you live in, but in this one, women have, and are continuing to be oppressed.

    3. Templetwins

      compare a woman wrestler with a non-wrestler man.. what’s the difference??? does the sex change becoz of the strength factor?? is it nature that brought this strength? no. its because of the way she was brought up and the mental conditioning

      I said in my other comment that men on average is stronger and faster than the women. Is it nature that brought this strength? Yes. You can’t compare a woman wrestler with a non-wrestler man, compare her with a wrestler who is a man. Then you would know my statement is true. Of course if a woman train hard enough she can be stronger than the average man but not stronger than the well trained man. Even if both the well trained man and woman have the same body weight, same sort of training, the man would still be at the advantageous position. Is it nature that brought this strength? Yes. Both men and women have estrogen and testosterone. Women have more estrogen compared to men, which would help her retain her muscles longer than men ie if you workout for 6 months and quit you would retain the muscles longer than a man. Men have more testosterone than women which would help them develop thicker muscles with higher lean body-mass to fat ratio. So the differences are biological, men are on an average stronger, taller, faster and more grip strength than women.

      That is why we have gendered Olympics. Men excel in sports such as weight lifting, running, high jump, long jump also non-physical sports such as snooker, chess, backgammon, and poker. This is due to the physiological differences and also how our brain differ. The steroids that body builders use often increases the testosterone levels in their body to achieve maximum fitness/strength. But men on average have higher testosterone than women.

      I would assume during the hunter , gatherer time a father would’ve took both his son and daughter for hunting. The son would’ve been naturally faster and would’ve thrown the spear at a longer distance than the daughter. Since most tribes survived due to the numbers, it would’ve been detrimental if the daughter died while hunting. She was more valuable than the son because of her ability to reproduce. Hence she would’ve been kept safe from the harsh nature of the wild. That’s how the gender roles would’ve been formed.

      That being said I don’t want this argument to be used to prevent women from combat roles in our time, because women can achieve strength with more training. We have modern weapons which made hand-to-hand combats unnecessary. Acknowledging the differences is not wrong, but such differences should be used to prevent someone to excel in the sports/roles they choose to be. This doesn’t mean men were superior than women, just different. What we had was oligarchy where the rulers controlled both men and women and pushed them in to the gender roles. Men were forced into wars and give up their life for land and resources (conscription) and women were made to pop out children, so labors, solidiers (men) and baby makers (women) are raised to continue the viscous cycle. Even when women were the rulers(Margaret Thatcher) she stilled forced men into wars and women as baby makers. It is not the fault of all ‘stupid’ men as you claim to be. Our societies had evolved in such a way from our hunter, gatherer time.

      somebody talked about the conviction rate…. one will see it as men are more violent, they commit more crimes, evidence proves that and hence the convictions

      Evidence prove that for the same crime women are sentenced less than the man ie men are punished more harshly than women for the same crime in our society. Women may not be as much violent than men but they commit violence through proxy. When a husband kills a wife, it is counted as the intimate partner violence(IPV) but when a wife is persuading her lover to kill her husband, it is simply taken as a murder but not IPV.

      So this traditional gender roles which put men in the MAN BOX and women into the WOMAN BOX. After the advent of feminism that women were free from WOMAN BOX(good for her). She began to have many choices where as men were still forced into their gender roles by the traditional system. The vocal feminists who could see both men and women suffer from these confined roles, still pushed men into their gender roles. Such as Ranjana kumari when she demanded that husbands must also share their ancestral properties to their ex-wives in the IRBM debate, she pushed men into the gender roles as a provider, while women can be free from it. So, for the men in our society both traditional system and the vocal/lobbying feminists are in their path to their freedom from the MAN BOX.

      last but not the least… I read all your comments… I am impressed how well read you are! unless you’ve been selectively googling, i am actually impressed…

      Thank you! 🙂

  11. Babar

    “instead of being grateful” for what??? for men being stupid

    Rishita, next time you eat food on the table, do try and feel a little gratitude for your father, and here is a little information on how men have been stupid – Men were the ones who were victims of slavery and racism, and those being killed in war. Even today, men protect the borders of our country so that we can sleep in peace, and I believe that ‘we’ includes women. When the Titanic was sinking, it was men who said ”women and children first,” knowing they will be dead and could have chosen to leave. Men work in the army, men work as construction workers, men work as coal miners, and throughout history men have worked dangerous jobs to feed and support women, often losing their limbs and their lives. The top ten dangerous jobs in the world are worked by men. In public, if there is one seat available, it is the woman who is seated by her husband/brother/boyfriend. Do note that civilization has been built on the bodies of dead men.

    Women want a luxurious lifestyle which only a man can provide them. From driving their husband’s car and shopping with their husbands money to having husbands hire domestic help for cooking and cleaning and eating out at restaurants with their husbands money, a husband today is an ATM for women, and then you ask why women should be grateful.

    As a counter argument, women say that they also earn. This lie is easy to expose. It is a fact that many women prefer to stay at home and become homemakers, because they enjoy the comfort and security of their homes, and they enjoy playing with their children. Women earn a lot less than men (and then cry ‘wage gap’). First off, you are paid for your work according to your experience, academic credentials, skills, and how well you do your job. It is different with different people. Secondly, it is not a question of a man and a woman working the same job not being paid the same, even two men or two women working the same job will not be paid the same. Two doctors, two engineers, two teachers, etc, will be paid differently. The vast majority of people work different jobs though, and women earn less because women work less number of hours than men, take maternity leave, work easier jobs than men, and take courses in college which pay less.

    See videos here and here.

    It is not a man’s world. It is because men work harder than women and take more risks, and for every successful woman, there are many successful men out there but there are also many men who are dead, trying to work for their families.

  12. Rishita

    oh gosh!!! u are so stupid..! “woMEN”???? i din’t think it was important to choose “feMALE” over “woMEN”….. did u not notice that i used “man” and “woman”??? its not me who is selectively avoiding questions, but its you who is selectively ignoring them….. I have already talked about women reinforcing violence against women! and oh again the same sas-bahu and sazish…. stop watching K-Serials…. And for the last time… I never denied that men have been facing sexism…. if u missed let me tell you again, that “patrairchy backfiires at men” the same system that gave you the notion that men are naturally superior…. boys and girls are brought up in a particular way on this stupid notion, which helps in nothing but reinforcing it….the ones who break away from it become exceptions…. the day we’ill be brought up equally, it wouldn’t be an exception…! even girls will be raised to believe that getting a job is a pre-requisite to taking the responsibility of a family in todays’s world… in fact exceptions are becoming the norm.. very slowly though…. and the contact sports…. honestly, i have seen males competing with females (lol) but probably those are practice sessions and not matches…. if such rules as you say exist, then you know there are body parts of both males and females (happy??) which we generally feel shouldn’t be touched…. now while fighting in a proper match the hands might go anywhere…even if people make such rules on account of the notion that men are “naturally” superior.. that is another NOTION which has come down the years…. just like the notion that man should be the bread winner, which many men feel burdensome now and a notion which is hopefully fading (slowly) with women working after marriage…. u want violence againste men to be recognized,? knw what?? it took years for getting domestioc violence recognized.. why??? because since years and even now we love thinking “kisi k ghar ka mamla hai”….. it takes years of fight… and that when mysogny is so evident…. !
    men take the lead in picking up shopping bags….! i’ill die laughing ! ok now, we pick up our bags when we are alone… we have the STRENGTH to do that…. there is this sense of “chivalry” (don’t worry women were taught not to argue with men for years, this society is in a habit of deciding behaviour patterns)in some which makes them offer to carry our baggage or open the door or pull the seat… that does’t mean women are incapable of doing any of these… infact, since i’ve been living away from home since quite some years now, there havebeen a number of time when i had to carry multiple baggages all through a busy station, up and down the stairs…. I’ve never taken any help.. and I’ve seen many students who do the same…. step out of ur home!

    1. Templetwins

      Babar has a point there Rishita. The term female and male can be attributed to any species. A female human being is a woman and a male human being is a man. The term ‘female wrestler’ is very commonly used but you choose to say ‘woman wrestler’ but however you used ‘Indian male’ one of your line (‘Maybe an insight into what the Indian male thinks today is of some use here’). Calling Indian men as Indian male dehumanizes them. I am sure that was not your intention but words have specific meaning Rishita.

      Men and Women competing against each other in contact sports is not recommended for men. If he wins he would be called a loser for beating a woman. If he loses he would be mocked for getting beaten by a woman. Such is our society. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t do.

      Mens group had been fighting years already to gain legal recognition of the abuse perpetrated by women. But every time a feminist use the term ‘systematic’ or ‘institutionalized’, she just say that to deny the victims who are men. Women’s abuse is already recognized by law however systematic it is but claiming that men’s issue is not a gender issue she pushes all the victimized men back to their closet.

  13. rishita

    well the intent behind comparing a woman wrestler with a non-wrestler man is to bring forth the point that strength and weaknesses are cultured… you can choose to believe that a well trained woman cannot equal a well trained man, but i have ano reason to believe that… if they are made to compete and say the man looses, it simply means that he wasn’t prepared well.. and not that he is not a man at all because “men are supposed to be stronger” same applies to the woman… she can lose against one and win against another……exactly what happens in competitions…. while reading what u’ve written abput hormones i was wondering what role does adrenalin play then..because i thought the hormones you are talking about are sex hormones which decide sexual characteristics….. :/… anyway women were considered to be devoid of mental faculities until a certain time…. that notion is gone now, hopefully all the others will go…. and no, as i said it was stupid rather clever (ok decided! clever) to assign roles on the lines of gender… the reason why freechoice not being given to women is talked about more is because that prevented them from realizing their potentials… from assigning roles according to gender, to stereotyping to moral codes everything was with the intent of restricting women…. eventually all that now is also backfiring at men….! and i guess we can assume anything when it comes to history because what we read is afterall a reconstruction of the past as far as the hunting gathering stage is considered…. the histoorians interpret something and write ….. some buy it.. some mught assume anything else… it seems we have diffrent views of the issue…. what i know for sure is the the ability to reproduce has often been made a bane for women where it should have been the opposite..

    1. Templetwins

      Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored -Aldous Huxley

      I clearly explained men have higher lean body-mass to fat ratio. This is factual and well documented. You can check out all the Olympic records of various sports set by both men and women and compare them. Then you would know that well trained men exceeds in performance at a higher rate than that of well trained women. For example lets take weight lifting 69kg category womens record indicates snatch at 128 kg and clean & jerk at 158 kg and men at 165kg and 195 kg, there is a difference of 71 kgs totally. This is similar to all the other records set by various categories. You can check for other sports too like running, swimming, high jump etc. That is exactly why Olympics is gendered. You don’t want to rob off all the awards from women due to gender differences. Testosterone and estrogen have other functions too, like the ones I explained. The information is available online, the peer to peer evaluated studies on gender differences. If you have any evidence against it let me know but don’t simply deny it because factual information doesn’t appease to your feelings.

      The free choice was not given to both men and women. Both had obligations as a gender and both had privileges as a gender. Women had the privilege of not fighting wars or to die in wars and always rescued first during a disaster. Where as men had the privilege of learning and excelling in various fields. Women were obligated to cook foods and clean the house, where as men had the obligation to provide for women and her children for a life time. Fast forward now, women have retained all the privileges and have none of the obligation, while men still have the obligations and their privileges are denied because of equality and stuff.

  14. rishita

    well going by the common usage male and men, and female and women is used interchangeably… i didn’t think it was such an important thing to decide… and yes “institutionalised” and “systematic” are indeed important terms…. very important… as long as i have to think over something as small as “whether to go out at this hour or not?” i think it is very important to highlight the nature of subjugation of women… its systematic and institutionalised… even u as a man can seek divorce on grounds of mental cruelty or any cruelty…. the law does not forbid you frm doing so… as of now having a separate law for rights of men is inconceivable for the legislature because u don’t normally see men worrying about it getting dark outside, or what to wear… etc…!

    1. Templetwins

      If you are going to use the term systematic or institutionalized as a means to say explain the plight of women, that’s fine. But however when they use it, it is often to deny men their rights to bodily autonomy, for example during the anti-rape bill Kavita Krishnan used the term to deny the gender neutrality of the law. You already are protected by the law but want to deny men their rights. That is when I feel the term is misused by lobbying feminists.

      even u as a man can seek divorce on grounds of mental cruelty or any cruelty

      I was talking about the DV law. Men aren’t legally recognized as victims of domestic violence. People often say that married men live longer than single men but the flaw in that statement is that they lump the divorced men as single men. In fact divorced men die way sooner than the actual single men. Divorce is a real killer for men have the obligation to share their matrimonial property, If he bought the property in his wives name then he would lose 75% of it (50% because it was in his name +25% because he is the husband). Now after IRBM men are expected to share their ancestral property too. The alimony and child support are added incentives to his ex wife. The idea behind this is that the wife is accustomed to the standard of living while she was married and the husband has to maintain it even after separation. The husband would’ve accustomed to the cooked food, clean house and sex too but who cares about him right? So yea, divorce is a real killer of men, so your suggestion is discarded.

      as of now having a separate law for rights of men is inconceivable for the legislature because u don’t ‘normally’ see men

      Eff your normalcy. There is no need for separate laws, just make the laws gender neutral. Let police investigate who is the abuser and who is abused. Lets not follow the sexist duluth model proposed by misandrists( feminists).

  15. Babar

    It is perfectly acceptable in society to use the word ‘male’. Male wrestler, male cricketer, male politician, male scientist, male doctor, etc, but it is wrong to use the word ‘female’, so we say woman politician, woman blogger, woman writer, etc. It is systematic misandry, nothing more. Men-hating feminists don’t even like using the word woman, so they say ‘wimmin’ or ‘womyn‘.

    1. Babar

      …because the word woman contains man in it.

    2. shuadi99

      yup thats right a woman or a female has a man and male in it respectively which you so called ‘bread earners’ don’t have, agree to it and strive for equality rather than trying to prove how great you are.

    3. Maya

      Oh go cry somewhere else, you poor, mistreated man.

  16. Babar

    “instead of being grateful” for what??? for men being stupid

    Rishita, next time you eat food on the table, do try and feel a little gratitude for your father, and here is a little information on how men have been stupid – Men were the ones who were victims of slavery and racism, and those being killed in war. Even today, men protect the borders of our country so that we can sleep in peace, and I believe that ‘we’ includes women. When the Titanic was sinking, it was men who said ”women and children first,” knowing they will be dead and could have chosen to leave. Men work in the army, men work as construction workers, men work as coal miners, and throughout history men have worked dangerous jobs to feed and support women, often losing their limbs and their lives. The top ten dangerous jobs in the world are worked by men. In public, if there is one seat available, it is the woman who is seated by her husband/brother/boyfriend. Do note that civilization has been built on the bodies of dead men.

    Women want a luxurious lifestyle which only a man can provide them. From driving their husband’s car and shopping with their husbands money to having husbands hire domestic help for cooking and cleaning and eating out at restaurants with their husbands money, a husband today is an ATM for women, and then you ask why women should be grateful.

    As a counter argument, women say that they also earn. This lie is easy to expose. It is a fact that many women prefer to stay at home and become homemakers, because they enjoy the comfort and security of their homes, and they enjoy playing with their children. Women earn a lot less than men (and then cry ‘wage gap’). First off, you are paid for your work according to your experience, academic credentials, skills, and how well you do your job. It is different with different people. Secondly, it is not a question of a man and a woman working the same job not being paid the same, even two men or two women working the same job will not be paid the same. Two doctors, two engineers, two teachers, etc, will be paid differently. The vast majority of people work different jobs though, and women earn less because women work less number of hours than men, take maternity leave, work easier jobs than men, and take courses in college which pay less.

    It is not a man’s world. It is because men work harder than women and take more risks, and for every successful woman, there are many successful men out there but there are also many men who are dead, trying to work for their families.

    1. Akshita Prasad

      seriously dude, how i pity you. Well, since we and taking about occupation, most teachers are females. Teachers shape your minds, enhance our perspective, but i can clearly see how your teacher failed to do so with you. Anyhow, what do you know about the defense? FYI, in the Indian army, women cannot join the infantry or artillery, the rules only allow them to join logistics. Its not that women are devious and don’t want to work, is just that we don’t give them a chance to. Men dominate women, suppress them, suck the life out of them. So well, women do work hard but don’t go about complaint about but men do. And not seeing what a woman out there faces, and typing shit is easy. So sit back and THINK, evidently you have something against thinking.

  17. rishita

    Babar, u basically like to think of things in a partuicular way…..! I don’t need you to tell me as to who i need to be grateful for the food i eat…… where only the father is working, children are thankful to him.. where both are working children are thankful to both… basically i have wasted enough time on you (as its an off today!) who has done no substantial reading on the subject. who has absolutely no idea how power centres in the soceity came into existence…. about the army, women are there in the positions they are allowed to…. where they are not allowed(again because of notions) they are not there….! you can comfortably assume the reasons behind remuneration gap… becoz u are ignorant of the minsets of people and love to be ignorant… i am signing off now because there is no sense in arguing with someone who has no clue what patriarchy is… what feminism is….that there are different schools of feminist thought… how to examine the feminist ideology prevalent in your country… nothing! before winding up, since u are so touchy about “female” and “women” of course what temple twins said is correct that male and female take into its fold not only humans but all living creatures…. but have u thought about this– that these two words can be used irrespective of the age group?? so when i am referring to a grown up female, i can choose to say “woman” bt I can’t do the same when i say female foeticide or female infanticide….although i did notconsciously choose Indian “male” while talking about mentality, now that i think of it, i find nothing wrong…. mentality of indian boys (like below 18… remember the 16 dec underaged convict??? there have been more!) + mentality of Indian men – mentality of Indian male.! perfectly fine….! signing off! i am clear on whaaat this article is about… there wasn’t even any male bashing like you have been complaining…. last but not the least, good work author..! these day to day “small” things that we say actually shape our society…!

  18. rishita

    men hating feminists make you angry! imagine what a women hating society that has even killed them in the foetus or before they reached 5 does to us!!!!

    1. Maya

      Babar is either a troll, an idiot, or both. Either way, he is not worth your time or mine. Nothing we say is going to change his mind. He is after all, the unfortunate and rather unsavory product of our twisted society, and even though this does not excuse him from being stupid, it does excuse us, rational, empowered women, from dignifying him or his inane beliefs.

  19. Devi Shakti

    I have nothing to say except that woman’s issues are infinitely more in need of addressing because they are so much more institutionalised in our history and psyche.

    Babar- I feel so infinitely sorry for any woman in your family. To be so devoid of choice in having to be with or around you. May God give those women the strength they need to be related to you.

  20. guest

    some of these are quiet shocking to say the least! work is such dammed word!! i mean only those who get a salary work and those who work & don’t recieve payment (homemakers) don’t work… with comedians targeting the ‘she’s” as being the ruiner of the mans life & man hood and media also reinforcing this idea its such a pain for a xx chromosome homo sapien to survive on this planet of so called evolved race.. if men have so many problems with wrking why not stop? are you as men willing to let your partner be the soul provider in your household? are you willing to do all house chores and fulfil endless household demands with dignity?most might say yes on the surface but we all know the real answer hurts your pride doesn’t it?

  21. Ankita

    When i was born, a second girl child, my grandmother cried in the hospital, and told everyone that stone is born. My mother loved me despite being said bad words by her mother-in law, for two girl children.The family eventually loves me, but this is common in south asia.

  22. Babar

    Men are indeed stupid. They can’t see how women use them. Today husbands are ATM, drivers, porters, dildos, and servants, who house their wives, let them drive their car, pay for their shopping, allow them unnecessary expenditure, buy them jewellery, pay at restaurants, put food on the table, while women sit comfortably at home, watch TV all day, play with the kids, or if they are working, earn pennies compared to their husbands, and then ask why they should be grateful. Women want to marry men richer than them, earning more than them, and men who are ‘well settled.’ Men always marry women who earn less than them. How many women marry men earning less than them?

    Women are goldiggers.

    1. Maya

      @Babar- you’re an ignorant fool, and that’s an understatement. Women have been oppressed for so long that they aren’t given the same opportunities for employment as men, and even if they’re hired, they’re paid a fraction of their male counterparts. Women are forced to stay at home, cook, clean, raise children (and pamper their men), COMPLETELY at the mercy of their financially independent husbands, so IF a woman is a gold digger, she’s only making her own way in a society that is against her from birth. Any woman who is with you, has probably been forced into it (you being such a charmer and all that), and here’s hoping she rings you for every penny you’ve got. I also hope you have no children- no daughters because you’ll probably kill their spirit to live, and no sons because you’ll teach them to be just like you, and no, the world does not need more sexist, ignorant (usually concurrent conditions) fools.

    2. Akshita Prasad

      Since you are generalizing women as gold diggers, then i suppose me generalizing men as egoistic jerks won’t bother you. Men marry women, who earn less than them, to satisfy their huge egos, which can’t accept a “weak” woman earning and being more financially stable than them. If men earn to get get flour home, women turn it into bread. And most women who work, also do the chores at home, look after the kids and the husband. It’s sad that u see women as individuals who do nothing, but stay home and watch TV, wale away time and money. I genuinely pity people like you, who have such backward mindsets. People like you may be satisfied with your own narrow perspectives, and may not want to grow as an individual, but such people also hold back the growth of an entire community. And that’s just sad.

    3. Shuchi

      Don’t you think a man’s ego will be hurt if his wife earns more than him? Before marriage, it is ensured most of the times that the wife’s pay is less than a man’s. And you are saying that women deliberately look for men who earn more than them. Pathetic! I know this incident where both the husband and wife got through Civil services but the wife got a better rank than the husband. And the husband didn’t take up the job and took the exam again the following year. Talk about women being goldiggers.

    4. Rahul Mehra

      Example of IAS that u hv given is a exception & there exists exception everywhere. ok

      If u will check in india about how many couples in which men is earning more than women then the % will b so higher as compared to reverse.

    5. Jagrutee Gawande

      If you think women want to be sitting at home and spending money sorry the hard earned money by their husband, you are dead wrong. Women today are educated and know what they want in their life. They are coming out and releasing the bonds placed by the male dominated society. Do not take education, so that she can play the housewife her whole life. Bid her husbands demands, cook what he wants and even give him the male kid that he wants. She was told from the beginning it her duty to work for her husband and his family. The same goes to the males as well as such as yourself. Everybody is told women are weak. They should be treated as such and that’s how you see today’s women too. You see them spending husbands money even though it is hers hard earned one. You see her watching TV or playing with kids, when her husband is not even helping her in her household works and stays late nights in office just to avoid the same.

      If you think women are weak and like to just to depend on men to make their survival. Why don’t you try and be in a woman’s place. Try and do a household work without earning anything. If you are married ask your wife does she need any help in the household work. If you are not ask your mother or your sister what is to be women.

      Today’s women do not ask for rich men but good men who respect them.

    6. Babar

      …when her husband is not even helping her in her household works and stays late nights in office just to avoid the same.

      Is that the best you can come up with? Try working 12-14 hours everyday cramped in an office, and it is not to avoid household duties, it is so that a man’s wife and children can have a luxurious life. Men who work all day, everyday, usually earn enough to hire domestic help, where women generally don’t have to do anything except watch TV, gossip on the phone all day, and go shopping.

    7. Shreyas Dwivedi

      Babar you really are one amazingly blithering fool. Its true that some women are gold diggers, but the generalization you are making is retarded. And I’ve never heard a man complaining that a woman “forced” him to have sex. They are usually quite grateful for the opportunity. As for using men as ATMs, if you had even a sliver of intelligence, you would know that gender equality means women also getting education and working, thus earning the same as men and end of this “ATM culture”. However a majority of men don;t allow their wives to work, so they should not complain about the use of their money or their home. And that again comes to how you define “work” as I believe working at home, managing the house and the kids is equal to, if not greater, than the job men do in office.
      I just said this coz I couldn’t imagine seeing such stupid things return and not reply. I know you are a hopeless case. Men like you are the reason women still find impediments in progress.
      PS: As for women’s attire, the day should come when a 20 year old should be able to wear a bikini on the street with no one having the balls to say anything. What she wears is totally and completely her business, and if you’re attracted to her, make sure to keep that fact to yourself.

    8. Bee

      Respect to you God bless u and i hope there are more males like u

  23. Babar

    More and more people today are waking up to the lies about feminism, and what it truly stands for, including women.

    Women Against Feminism.

    1. V1

      I checked Women Against Feminism out. Most of the post say that these women choose to be oppressed and live solely domestic lives. Wh at about the ones who wish to choose otherwise? Feminism is about having this choice, being able to decide whether or not you want to work or how to live.
      I hope to live in a place where women working is not radical but the idea of their staying at home while men slave off in the office and be the sole earner and the sole head o fb their families.

  24. Babar

    Akshita, what percentage of women work compared to men? And how much do they earn? Pennies. Women have their husband hire domestic help and then complain about having to cook food, which takes very little time compared to the gruelling hours a man spends in the office all day, and many men don’t have the luxury of an air-conditioned office, who toil, sweat, and labour. In case you don’t know, from coal mining to construction, men work the ten most dangerous jobs in the world.

    As for your propaganda about women’s pay, you are paid for your work according to your experience, academic credentials, skills, and how well you do your job. It is not a question of a man and a woman working the same job not being paid the same, even two men or two women working the same job will not be paid the same. Two doctors, two engineers, two teachers, etc, will be paid differently. Secondly, women earn less because women work less number of hours than men, take maternity leave, work easier jobs than men, and take courses in college which pay less.

    http://youtu.be/EwogDPh-Sow

    1. Mrinal

      You were also born out of a so called maternity leave and so is the whole bloody ass of our insensitive population.

    2. akshita prasad

      So your basically trying to say that gender inequality is a norm, and should prevail? And what good to you think this will bring about? And you say women complain, even though there is nothing to complain about? Haven’t you heard cases of domestic violence? Where the ever so good husband abuses and harasses his own wife, the “devious” and “gold digging” female? Ans what about dowry deaths? wife’s demand dowry? I guess not! The men do, so now who is the “gold digger” ? The woman or the man? Numerous men in India drink, and abuse their families. They barely earn anything, and if the wife’s earning they simply take away the money.

      And many women don’t work because of men. Their father’s may not want them to work, the husbands may not. So who is responsible? And women can be fools at times, they think they need a man to survive. They think being a women means coming to terms with whatever that nocturnal jerk does. And putting up with there nocturnal husbands is something society expects them to do. Women need to learn to break free from such a society, and such norms and myths. Women are considered less human because of the backward, sadistic mindsets of a few men. Inequality isn’t a norm, it’s a stigma.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAh2SEhy-ug&hd=1

    3. Babar

      Please read this article.

    4. Captain Logic

      Scrolled down to see your misogynistic comments. Not disappointed.

  25. jaszy

    The last one was cool 🙂

  26. akshita prasad

    There must be a few cases, were men are abused. But by and large its about women being abused. Watch this video.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwl7olQ54iw

  27. sofiya

    there is seriously no use of writing such an article @Shreena Thakore when ppl like @Babar can’t understand the reason y dey are written. this is specially written for you boy. it doesn’t matter whether you follow the rules and respect men or you don’t they will never understand. i hope @Babar that you have some amount of respect for your mother for being a women…. Ooops I m sorry, you were not born from the womb of any women.. must be your father right????

  28. peterparker

    The problem is that Indian females have been reduced to a silent watcher. They cannot openly express their desires for bodily satisfaction. And that’s why we see reactions, as society will look down upon such girls who says openly. Indians must become open minded in this matters. And these hindus talke about VEDISM. In VEDIC BRAHMANSIM, sex is not a SIN.

  29. Pratyush Nalam

    Some of them were really shocking. Even though I know that women are looked down in our country, this shocked me too much. Why is the world so cruel?

  30. sneh

    I consider myself to be a gender sensitive person…atleast i often take pride in being believing in the principles of equity and equality for all…but despite after going through this write up i do notice that i am doing a lot of such discriminatory actions unconsciously and ultimately perpetuating and reinforcing the cycle…
    This was an eye opener and definitely brings to the fore the thought that education on this subject is of vital importance, not merely for the women themselves, but also for unintentional acts of ignoramuses and more serious and hardened offenders…

  31. AMAN

    Gender In Equality is a religious concept and draws its strength from the biggest religions/traditional practice of the world (Christianity, Islam and Hinduism etc)…It cannot be achieved unless we prohibit from following such religions, which is not possible on this earth at least in the near time as people follow the So called God/Gods who himself/themselves is the culprit for begin biased towards men (as stated in most of the religious books)….

    But i hate hypocrites ,the people who follow any of the above mentioned religion/tradition and show a fake empathy towards women or show as though they encourage Gender equality completely . The first and foremost rule is that if you with Gender equality you got to be an Atheist first to drop all those non sense rules created by the religions

    1. dick royson

      I’m glad you’ve brought up religion, as I have something to clear up. I’ve been discussing religion, specifically Christianity, about what the existence of men and women really is. It turns out from the bible’s definition, despite women being made from parts of men, or as the bible puts it, men and women were equal by definition, as it only said that the woman should guide and help her husband while he does the same, to love each other. It didn’t say what women should do but it doesn’t say that women don’t have any opportunities, but I believe interpretation of such statements had something to do with all that. And the thing about any form of violence, Gods only rule is to never hurt people, and do good deeds. Of course I was saying everything in terms of Christianity, but after the discussion with my friend, I looked up on my own religion which is Hinduism, and I was shocked to find out their rule of thumb is to never hurt people, and that men and women are equal albeit their duties. Certain forms of prayers and traditions are different from genders, but socially in terms of religious books we should be treating each other as equals. So in reality, religion is in a way a cause of all of the hurt in society, but I believe the interpretation of religious statements would be the cause of this as we do have corrupted selfish bishops that do claim they spread the word of God. So really, being an Athiest would probably be easy since it means you don’t believe in God, but for the people that really do believe in God, they need to clear up about it’s statements that women and men were equal by definition to begin with.

  32. AMAN

    The efforts of the writer however for enlightenment is all in vein i would say when just 2 guys (Babar and Templetwins) have given counter arguments which has resulted into bug tussle and an endless debate. I guess many in this country and world are of the same mindset (specially people religiously blind and uneducated poor people)

    But i see people going hugely abusive against them calling them moron ..Which is incorrect…They have there right to give counter arguments and you have the right to produce your side of debate..calling some one moron or a jerk means you have lost your ability to argue further and in short accepted defeat..These issue can be easily co-related to the battle between Atheists and Theists while many start abusing each other few continue hearing each other argument till long without sarcastic comments which results in either one of them changing logic..Provided the fighters against the beliefs should be extremely patient and has the ability to change once logics and way of thinking

    1. Shreya

      Dude please do not bother about this Babar guy! I do not want say this (as you have also pointed out people calling him and the other guy names), but there is genuinely something wrong with him. Off late I have noticed, he comments on almost all posts of YKA, specially those related to women and women empowerment, and you have to read his comments to know that he is nothing but a misogynist ass (please excuse my language, but I’m sorry, he deserves every bit of it). I think YKA moderators need to take notice of this, and do something about such hate spammers.

    2. Vikram

      Exactly what I’ve noticed, That guy is plain nuts. He tries too hard to be reasonable and neutral that he’s blinding himself from the truth. He does make for interesting conversation sometimes!

    3. themaverickwoman

      Hey Aman,
      I wud agree with shreya… pls ignore retards like Babar and Templetwins..i have also noticed him just scribbing anyting whever it talks abt gender inequality.. or anyting related to woman… talking abt abusing- he abuses human rights left right and center.. n moron is too less an abuse for him.. i have also requested YKA if they can at least filter the debate …. u cannot have debates wid ppl with closed mind.. sans any knowledge or least senstivity …his voice wil be heard if its rational.. period….ignorance as point of view guess shouldnt be taken into consideration…people like these just divert the topic from real issues to keep u busy wid thier dimwit…and dnt let you be sane enuf!! U have all the rights to not agree to what is there ..but to be insensitive … is not accptable… all his replies are nervous reaction to his own insecurity … which he wont understand.. cz we need brains at the right place to do so… morever .. thanks for your comments…

    4. Templetwins

      Ahh you lumped me with Babar, yet you haven’t provided any evidence that I had said something against human rights. I think you consider only women as human beings and any criticism against women is a human rights issue. Please get off your high horses and narcissistic bubble. Even I don’t agree with some of Babars views cause it gives more ammunition to people like you but resorting to ad hominem is cowardly.

  33. Ponta Sama

    Let’s go over the points against women

    1. Most of the women do not earn and sit around the house.
    a. Most of the parents don’t encourage their daughters to go for higher education. No education = no job.
    b. Most of the men do not prefer their wives working. Who will take care of the kids, eh?
    c. Most of the jobs that require being out of the house till late or work in a large group of men, Women are advised against
    taking them. You know, only sluts be around men at late hours.
    d. If there are kids (mostly there are), women get emotionally blackmailed to sit around and take care. Working mothers are
    apparently not good mothers. No such parameters for working fathers though, they don’t matter to kids it seems. And the
    reverse situation is almost unthinkable. A working mother and stay at home dad is detrimental to a kid’s future (as said by
    father-in-law of a friend of mine.)

    2. Women expect husbands to buy them jewelry and clothes and food and stuff.
    a. Hmmm… lets them study man… let them go to work. They will buy their own food, you know.
    b. Anyway, most of the women pay enough dowry to their husbands to afford food/clothes for at least a decade.

    3. Women get maternity leaves
    a. This one is completely nature’s fault. In the process of making a baby (strictly the biological part), a man’s contribution is
    that of a night. Some men take hardly over fifteen minutes. Unfortunately, women have a nine month long process to go
    through. Can’t fight biology, bruh!

    4. Women are always given priority in case of danger/disaster – Men are asked to the ‘heavy’ work.
    a. Partly biology but mostly a social issue. Next time you have a daughter, enroll her in martial arts, sports or anything that
    aims at enhancing physical strength. How do you expect a person to fight goons when the hardest thing she ever faced was
    tangles in barbie’s hair.
    b. By the way, I do know a lot of women who can do physically exhausting work for hours. My mother used to work at a rice
    mill (transfer 6 quintals of rice everyday on her back ). So next time there is a disaster ask a woman for help rather than
    trying to be the hero.

    5. Women deliberate try to provoke sexual harassment/ lewd comments (and the ‘R’ word)
    a. Guilty. Women wear seductive clothes to provoke men. So do 2 year old girls and animals. Hell! Animals and small girls dare
    to even roam around naked. No wonder they get r*ped. They asked for it! I just wonder about the women who wear
    traditional clothes and still get eve teased. Whatever. It’s their fault.
    b. If a girl is happy to do naughty stuff (or even roam around at night) with a guy she likes, it is obvious that she is sending
    open invitation to every pervert in the neighborhood. Because you know, if you buy an ice-cream for yourself, it is obviously
    a sign that you are willing to buy one for everyone who sees you eat it.

    At last, I think every woman is grateful to their father (except the ones who got molested by them), brothers, uncles, grandfathers, male friends, boyfriends and husband just like they are indebted to their mother, sisters, aunts, grandmother and female friends. I don’t love or respect my father just because he earns money. My mother earns too. I respect both my parents for bringing me to this world, for loving me and for everything they taught me. And I do not believe there is any man or woman in this world who do not love their parents for the same reasons.

    1. Templetwins

      Most of the parents don’t encourage their daughters to go for higher education.

      Because they feel marrying them of to a life-long slave is better, she can be a leisure class, sitting on her home all day. Isn’t it the fault of the parents who crippled her by not giving education yet the husband had to pay the price for providing her for a life time.

      Most of the men do not prefer their wives working. Who will take care of the kids, eh?

      Lobbying feminist are making laws for trivial things. Why not make a law to prevent the husband to not to force his wife to stay at home? In that way many women who prefer to stay at home and put all the financial burden on the husband cannot claim oppression by default? If she decides to be divorced we can deny her any benefits since she choose to stay at home, while she could’ve contributed financially.

      women get emotionally blackmailed to sit around and take care.

      You see women as so gullible and they can be so easily persuaded eh? You speak as though women lack any agency, that they are adult children who must be protected from persuasion.

      A working mother and stay at home dad is detrimental to a kid’s future.

      A stay at home dad is a distant dream in a country like India. However the women in western nations aren’t proud of their stay at home hubbies either. Some people claim that it is male ego which can’t stand their women earning more than them. But I see the contrary to be true. Women were entitled to marry up (hypergamy), they can’t respect a man who earns less than them. While many men do respect their wives for being stay at home moms. http://ideas.time.com/2013/12/09/the-househusbands-of-wall-street/?hpt=hp_t3

      Hmmm… lets them study man… let them go to work. They will buy their own food, you know.

      It is not our fault if their parents didn’t educate their daughter. It has become the sole responsibility of the husband to provide her. Besides I knew a couple who earned the same, she wanted to give money to her parents, while she felt her hubby is entitled to provide her ie the financial obligation is only on him. There are working women who are like this too. What about them? He can’t stop giving her money even if she is earning herself. It comes under domestic violence if you deny her pocket money and not the other way around.

      women pay enough dowry to their husbands to afford food/clothes for at least a decade.

      Dowry is not just a womans issue. It is not her who pays, it had been the responsibility of her father to pay it. Dotcha know women aren’t educated, so no job, how can they pay dowry? You’re contradicting yourself.

      Only if men were sanctioned paternity leave, they could contribute equally too. And 30 secs is enough for a man to impregnate woman. So 15 mins is just female fantasy and all that foreplay. And you know the financial contribution towards his children which befalls him for 18 years?

      Oh yea biology, lets take Titanic, a woman in third class had more survival rate than a man in first class. In fact women were saved more than the number of children. If we are to talk about biology, shouldn’t the children be saved first, than the adult woman? I think we can give the biology as an excuse to so many things including a mans libido, aggression, women in combat roles etc It would be counterproductive if you have that line of thinking.

      Even the two year old are getting raped.

      This is a moot point. Because you are lumping all form of non-consensual attraction as one. Being sexually attracted to a two year old is pedophilia, whereas being attracted to a grown adult woman is healthy. A two year old running around in her undees and a 20 yr old running around in her panties are different. You say they are the same. They are not, hence your point is moot. If you actually read about zoophiles they claim that animals can give consent, to say that they cannot is simply human ignorance…So they say. That’s a different topic all together.

      You spoke for every woman but the one who said ‘grateful for what, their stupidity?’ was condescending and it required some explanation. If you are grateful for all the men and women in your life. Good for you.

    2. Fem

      As usual logic and sense washes over you

    3. Babar

      Anyway, most of the women pay enough dowry to their husbands to afford food/clothes for at least a decade.

      While your entire comment is childish and immature, the above is icing on the cake. The fact is, most women get enough in jewellery than any amount of dowry they can ever pay, and we have not even begun on how women live in their husband’s house, drive their husband’s car, shop with their husband’s money, eat at restaurants with husband’s pay, buy purses, sandals, and cosmetics with husband’s income, and live luxuriously courtesy of their husbands. I reiterate – For women today, a husband is an ATM, driver, porter, and dildo. And a question I have asked to which I did not get a reply – If there has to be equality, why do women always marry men richer than them and earning more than them?

    4. Templetwins

      Feelings are not more important than facts Fem. You don’t know a thing about logic. Dontcha know that womens studies teaches that logic is a tool of domination, men are oppressing women with logic . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzNwjfbVt-U&t=5m50s

    5. Fem

      Feelings are equally important as facts Templetwins. Facts are the building-blocks of anything and feelings emerge from certain experiences. They are not interchangeable.

      And what made you feel that I do not know a thing about logic? Try answering my question logically now. In your last comment you have interchanged logical thinking by feelings when you accused me of lacking of it without any (logical) base.

    6. Templetwins

      Wow you responded to it almost after a month. Here it goes, feelings could emerge from an experience but it can also be irrational too. My point is that while discussing on an issue, it is better not to cloud our judgement based on what we feel about a certain thing. When you said ‘As usual logic and sense washes over you’, you didn’t explain why you felt that way, what are your reasons or logic behind such an assertion is not explained either, so I concluded it was an expression of an emotion such as anger, intolerance, when such feelings cloud your judgement there is no room for any rational disclosure, hence my comment.

  34. Babar

    There is just as much violence against men as there is against women. Men, generally, do not report violence by women because it is embarrassing and considered unmanly to do so. Furthermore, you can also be a victim of death threats from feminists if you dare raise your voice against domestic violence perpetrated by women (Google Erin Pizzey).

    People sympathize with women’s causes because of the hype in the media about violence against women, and the media selectively chooses to represent issues of one gender only due to the element of attention associated with it – It is almost as though violence against men does not exist (Please search ‘domestic violence against men’, ‘sexism against men’, and ‘misandry in the media’ in YouTube and Google).

    The draconian laws in India have done nothing to further the cause of men, as a woman only needs to point a finger at a man to land him in jail over false allegations of rape, dowry, assault, domestic abuse, molestation, etc. Women do this without a care in the world about a man’s life, future, career, family, reputation, life, etc.

    Men are always at the receiving end, men are victimized, tormented, and traumatized, and it is not surprising that suicide by men is escalating in India – A man in India commits suicide every 6 minutes. Twice as many men commit suicide as compared to women in India.

    As many as 1,35,445 people committed suicide in the country last year. Statistics released by the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) show that excluding West Bengal, 79,773 men and 40,715 women had taken the extreme step (The Hindu).

    As for equality, why is it that women always look to marry men richer than them, earning more than them, live in their husbands house, drive their husbands car, shop with their husband’s money, eat at restaurants with husband’s pay, buy jewellery with husband’s income, and live luxuriously courtesy of their husbands – For women today, a husband is an ATM, driver, porter, and dildo.

    Today, women have seats reserved for them everywhere, from office to politics, and ask men to leave their seats for them in the name of being gentlemen – What happened to equality? And when was the last time a woman left her seat for a man? – Equality is only applicable when it works in favour of women.

    If feminists are really concerned about women’s rights, they should be raising their voices against the abuse by mothers-in-law, who are the biggest perpetrators of violence against women, not to mention daughters-in-law, who poison their husbands minds against family members, and sisters-in-law, who have mastered the art of family politics.

    1. TheSeeker

      If the men could just forget about their ‘manliness’ for some time and just believe in human rights and actually report the violence perpetrated against them, that would do the world some good. You love disgracing and generalising women like they’re brainless, but when it comes to men, they are innocent, aren’t they? Just one sentence about their manliness to excuse their faults. And you have an exceptional talent of fitting all the facts and figures of this world according to your absurd views about everything. How about explaining both sides of an argument equally? But of course, you will never listen.

  35. Aditya Prakash

    REALLY NICE WORK! HATS OFF! FOR BRINGING UP D TRUTH

  36. sikky k

    This article would have been apt 20 yrs back and not anymore.

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An ambassador and trained facilitator under Eco Femme (a social enterprise working towards menstrual health in south India), Sanjina is also an active member of the MHM Collective- India and Menstrual Health Alliance- India. She has conducted Menstrual Health sessions in multiple government schools adopted by Rotary District 3240 as part of their WinS project in rural Bengal. She has also delivered training of trainers on SRHR, gender, sexuality and Menstruation for Tomorrow’s Foundation, Vikramshila Education Resource Society, Nirdhan trust and Micro Finance, Tollygunj Women In Need, Paint It Red in Kolkata.

Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

Saurabh has been associated with YKA as a user and has consistently been writing on the issue MHM and its intersectionality with other issues in the society. Now as an MHM Fellow with YKA, he’s launched the Right to Period campaign, which aims to ensure proper execution of MHM guidelines in Delhi’s schools.

The long-term aim of the campaign is to develop an open culture where menstruation is not treated as a taboo. The campaign also seeks to hold the schools accountable for their responsibilities as an important component in the implementation of MHM policies by making adequate sanitation infrastructure and knowledge of MHM available in school premises.

Read more about his campaign.

Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

Her campaign #MeriMarzi aims to promote menstrual health and wellness, hygiene and facilities for female sex workers in UP. She says, “Knowledge about natural body processes is a very basic human right. And for individuals whose occupation is providing sexual services, it becomes even more important.”

Meri Marzi aims to ensure sensitised, non-discriminatory health workers for the needs of female sex workers in the Suraksha Clinics under the UPSACS (Uttar Pradesh State AIDS Control Society) program by creating more dialogues and garnering public support for the cause of sex workers’ menstrual rights. The campaign will also ensure interventions with sex workers to clear misconceptions around overall hygiene management to ensure that results flow both ways.

Read more about her campaign.

MH Fellow Sabna comes with significant experience working with a range of development issues. A co-founder of Project Sakhi Saheli, which aims to combat period poverty and break menstrual taboos, Sabna has, in the past, worked on the issue of menstruation in urban slums of Delhi with women and adolescent girls. She and her team also released MenstraBook, with menstrastories and organised Menstra Tlk in the Delhi School of Social Work to create more conversations on menstruation.

With YKA MHM Fellow Vineet, Sabna launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society. As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Read more about her campaign. 

A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Find out more about the campaign here.

A native of Bhagalpur district – Bihar, Shalini Jha believes in equal rights for all genders and wants to work for a gender-equal and just society. In the past she’s had a year-long association as a community leader with Haiyya: Organise for Action’s Health Over Stigma campaign. She’s pursuing a Master’s in Literature with Ambedkar University, Delhi and as an MHM Fellow with YKA, recently launched ‘Project अल्हड़ (Alharh)’.

She says, “Bihar is ranked the lowest in India’s SDG Index 2019 for India. Hygienic and comfortable menstruation is a basic human right and sustainable development cannot be ensured if menstruators are deprived of their basic rights.” Project अल्हड़ (Alharh) aims to create a robust sensitised community in Bhagalpur to collectively spread awareness, break the taboo, debunk myths and initiate fearless conversations around menstruation. The campaign aims to reach at least 6000 adolescent girls from government and private schools in Baghalpur district in 2020.

Read more about the campaign here.

A psychologist and co-founder of a mental health NGO called Customize Cognition, Ritika forayed into the space of menstrual health and hygiene, sexual and reproductive healthcare and rights and gender equality as an MHM Fellow with YKA. She says, “The experience of working on MHM/SRHR and gender equality has been an enriching and eye-opening experience. I have learned what’s beneath the surface of the issue, be it awareness, lack of resources or disregard for trans men, who also menstruate.”

The Transmen-ses campaign aims to tackle the issue of silence and disregard for trans men’s menstruation needs, by mobilising gender sensitive health professionals and gender neutral restrooms in Lucknow.

Read more about the campaign here.

A Computer Science engineer by education, Nitisha started her career in the corporate sector, before realising she wanted to work in the development and social justice space. Since then, she has worked with Teach For India and Care India and is from the founding batch of Indian School of Development Management (ISDM), a one of its kind organisation creating leaders for the development sector through its experiential learning post graduate program.

As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

Let’s Talk Period aims to change this by

Find out more about her campaign here.

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A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

A Gender Rights Activist working with the tribal and marginalized communities in india, Srilekha is a PhD scholar working on understanding body and sexuality among tribal girls, to fill the gaps in research around indigenous women and their stories. Srilekha has worked extensively at the grassroots level with community based organisations, through several advocacy initiatives around Gender, Mental Health, Menstrual Hygiene and Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights (SRHR) for the indigenous in Jharkhand, over the last 6 years.

Srilekha has also contributed to sustainable livelihood projects and legal aid programs for survivors of sex trafficking. She has been conducting research based programs on maternal health, mental health, gender based violence, sex and sexuality. Her interest lies in conducting workshops for young people on life skills, feminism, gender and sexuality, trauma, resilience and interpersonal relationships.

A Guwahati-based college student pursuing her Masters in Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Bidisha started the #BleedwithDignity campaign on the technology platform Change.org, demanding that the Government of Assam install
biodegradable sanitary pad vending machines in all government schools across the state. Her petition on Change.org has already gathered support from over 90000 people and continues to grow.

Bidisha was selected in Change.org’s flagship program ‘She Creates Change’ having run successful online advocacy
campaigns, which were widely recognised. Through the #BleedwithDignity campaign; she organised and celebrated World Menstrual Hygiene Day, 2019 in Guwahati, Assam by hosting a wall mural by collaborating with local organisations. The initiative was widely covered by national and local media, and the mural was later inaugurated by the event’s chief guest Commissioner of Guwahati Municipal Corporation (GMC) Debeswar Malakar, IAS.

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