This post has been self-published on Youth Ki Awaaz by Mayank Jain. Just like them, anyone can publish on Youth Ki Awaaz.

“I Wasn’t Asking For It, Even If I Were Naked”, When Is A Woman To Blame For Rape?

More from Mayank Jain

A woman is raped every 30 minutes in the country. Last year, as much as 33,707 rapes were reported in the country and an equal number of instances are said to go unreported. This grim reality of a woman’s constant worry for her safety in the country begs the question that where are we, as a country, and as a society, going wrong?

The answer lies probably within ourselves, and not in the outside factors that we attribute as the ‘cause behind rape’. There’s no justification for sexual or physical violence against women and no, the common “she asked for it”, rhetoric doesn’t count. Whatever be her clothing, behaviour or state of inebriation, it doesn’t give anyone the right to infringe on her personal space and justify any form of violence.

This video attempts to bring home the same point in a poignant manner. Watch the video, it will leave you with some questions which need urgent answering about our outlook towards violence against women.

To know more about what I think of this video, follow me on twitter at @Mayank1029

You must be to comment.
  1. Babar

    Am I asking to be mugged, stabbed, or robbed when I am out alone at night. The obvious answer is no. However, as a precautionary measure, I can make sure I am home early, and do not venture out late at night. As for women, it is true that not all get raped because they were dressed inappropriately – but many do. The question is, why do women feel the need to dress provocatively in the first place? Women want men to respect them but they are not willing to respect themselves. And instead of coming up with theories about how society needs to change to cater to their needs, perhaps it is time women realized the importance of being at home after dark. Many women get raped when they are drunk, and then we have feminists crying “she wasn’t asking for it.” Yes, she wasn’t, but she could have taken responsibility for herself. Feminists want women to succumb to their theories about liberation, where women are free to do whatever they want and wear whatever they want, without any consequences or problems. It doesn’t happen in the real world.

    1. madzz

      We all, men women children etc make the society and also change the society, society is what needs to be blamed. Also possibly the way u think “staying at home after dark” isn’t always possible. say for example: I am a doctor by profession n put for night duties to save peoples’ lives. Sometimes there’s no option but to b back home late. That means according to u in the so called real world I should stop treating patients in the critical care and let them die or else put the other male doctors at extra work becoz I m a woman n I need to stay back home at night as I will b raped?

    2. Babar

      It gets dangerous at night, for both men and women, everywhere in the world, so please stop reiterating that society needs to change. Furthermore, every woman who has been raped was not working until late at night, most were either alone, enjoying their newfound independence, or partying and drinking. Also, with work, not every working woman is a single mother who can’t survive without her job.

    3. aditi

      You Sir are a douche bag and its a good thing you are here reading this blog because I think you really need to watch this everyday for the rest of your life atleast, to change the stupid way you think. Have a good day.

    4. Avinesh Saini

      Not that it will really affect him. He will stay the same.

  2. AMAN

    of course no one asks for any crime to be conducted against him/her…And of course Rape is a heinous crime…Victim blaming is an attempt to prove the patriarchal thoughts of most of the religions and the religious belief that Women are supposed to be inferior to men and they can never get a status of equality …This is one part

    Second part is when u go in a court of law rapist have only one available weapon to attack the victim and get free…That is to some how prove that the women is a characterless person or she had given her consent for the relationship …To prove this the professional lawyers begin to dissect the character of the women and then they come to the wearing of clothes to her relationships with other guys etc….Although a women may not have given her consent to some one to have physical relationship but these pointers play a very crucial role as rape crimes are mostly done in isolation where the victim and rapist are involved and the only fact that the victim has stated that it was a rape is not considered as enough evidence to prove that it was a rape..

    Lastly police play a very crucial role in such crime…Most of the police official specially men are hard core believers in patriarchy and male dominance…Thus for them a women coming to file an FIR for rape with skimpy clothes , they would certainly have her grilled first as to why has she been in such provocative clothes….Because in our country wearing of provocative clothes is a criminal offence…

    1. Walia

      Amit, I don’t know where you yome from but in India rape law (IPC-376) is so stringent that no matter even if you prove that a woman is prostitute and filed complaint after you failed to pay the amount, you will still be convicted. So in court, victim blaming never works.

      A simple example is more than 72% oc rape accused in Mumbai are boyfriends. After break up when a boyfriend denies to marry girlfriend, in India consensual sex between them becomes rape. If she breaks up, then a man can’t file case under IPC-376. This is double standard.

      In Delhi 53% of rape cases filed between 2013-2014 were fake. This does not include acquittals which is 78%. Acquittal in a rape case means that accused was able to prove his innocence as in rape cases, the burden of proof is on him.

      An Indian man according to law, can not be raped, can never face domestic violence, can never be treated with cruelty wither mental or physical).

      By the way, under IPC-376, jail in the form of custody is guranteed till end of trial wheter guilty or not because evidence act of India has been changed and presumes accused in such cases guilt until proven innocent which is simply against human rights. A trail takes anything between 1-4 yrs.

      And if set free, you can’t even sue the girl for implicating you falsely. That’s law.

      Last but not the least. India unlike other civilized country don’t even recognized rape/molestation/sexual abuse of a man and even after so many fake case, the number of rapes per head is 15 times lesser than US, 14 times than UK.

  3. Babar

    Victim blaming is an attempt to prove the patriarchal thoughts of most of the religions and the religious belief that Women are supposed to be inferior to men and they can never get a status of equality …This is one part

    What happens to equality when women marry men richer than them, earning more than them, go shopping with their husband’s money, have their husbands pay at restaurants, have seats reserved for them everywhere, from office to politics, and ask men to leave their seats for them in the name of being gentlemen. When was the last time a woman left her seat for a man? – Equality is only applicable when it works in favour of women.

    The truth is, feminism is about the superiority of women over men, which is why the media never highlights the problems faced by men. I wonder why we don’t talk about the biases that men face on a daily basis, about how women usurp half of men’s properties during divorces, about how courts give men stricter sentences for the same crimes that women commit, about how juries give verdicts against men in domestic disputes, about how men give alimony to women, about misandry in the media, about sexism against men, about how men are locked up in false cases of rape, dowry, and domestic abuse, about how their oppressors do not face punishment over false accusations, among a host of other things.

    Second part is when u go in a court of law rapist have only one available weapon to attack the victim and get free…

    Under the Indian judicial system, a woman can accuse a man of rape, domestic violence, or dowry harassment, with very little proof, if any, and have him imprisoned. Today, tens of thousands of innocent Indian men rot in jail for crimes they did not commit, courtesy of fabricated allegations by women.

    The draconian Indian law is being misused left, right, and center, where women have men imprisoned with false charges. From settling personal agendas to blackmailing for money, the law in India is being grossly manipulated by women. From relationships gone sour to broken promises of marriage, any reason is enough to falsely accuse men and land them behind bars. Of late, girls caught having premarital sex accuse their boyfriends of rape, without a care in the world about the boys’ reputation, future, career, and life.

    Is it any surprise that the number of suicide rates among men are soaring in India. According to The Hindu, as many as 1,35,445 people committed suicide in the country last year. Statistics released by the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) show that excluding West Bengal, 79,773 men and 40,715 women had taken the extreme step. According to the statistics, a man in India commits suicide every six minutes.

    The Indian media does not highlight the plight of men because sympathizing with women’s causes brings them much needed attention. However, the suicide statistics tell a different story altogether. In India, it is men who are suffering at the hands of women.

    1. Fem

      Or maybe women tend to not take the easy way out and stay back on earth to look after her family rather than committing suicide and leaving the ones who are dependent on her on road.

      Another point – Are women sole causes of men’s suicide? Do they have no other sorrows?

    2. Walia

      So if women commit more suicide, they are victim of patriarchy..if men commit more suicide then they are irresponsible and weak.

  4. Babar

    The underlying agenda of feminists:

    “The nuclear family must be destroyed, and people must find better ways of living together.” – Linda Gordon, Function of the Family, Women: A Journal of Liberation, Fall, 1969.

    “We can’t destroy the inequities between men and women until we destroy marriage.” – Robin Morgan, Sisterhood is Powerful, 1970, p.537.

    “No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one.” — Simone de Beauvoir, “Sex, Society, and the Female Dilemma” Saturday Review, June 14, 1975, p.18

    “Marriage has existed for the benefit of men; and has been a legally sanctioned method of control over women… We must work to destroy it. The end of the institution of marriage is a necessary condition for the liberation of women. Therefore it is important for us to encourage women to leave their husbands and not to live individually with men.” -The Declaration of Feminism, November 1971.

    “Women, like men, should not have to bear children… The destruction of the biological family, never envisioned by Freud, will allow the emergence of new women and men, different from any people who have previously existed.” — Alison Jagger – Political Philosophies of Women’s Liberation: Feminism and Philosophy (Totowa, NJ: Littlefield, Adams & Co. 1977).

    “In order to raise children with equality, we must take them away from families and communally raise them.” – Dr. Mary Jo Bane, feminist and assistant professor of education at Wellesley College and associate director of the school’s Center for Research on Woman.

  5. Sammy

    Why their is a need of censorship. Girls are Free to Act and Wear and Say and Share; means what ever they want. It’s Audience who need to assimilate the true sense, Art behind that. Women Empowerment is Today’s Hottest Theme and that’s why Censorship only cease them so not to Reveal their Art by Words, Dialogues, Songs or even their Body. The thing you perceived as Vulgarity is fundamentally Her “Art” which she wants to exhibits . This will nurture the dreams of adolescent girls to be like them and with this strategy you are just ravaging the careers of upcoming Talent.

    And now undoubtedly you will ask that Why Girls Only – lemme clear this because there are only three types of Boys – One Who Stares and Do Rape (whether it is Physical or Mental) and second who Help/soothe Girls to Raise the Voice ( Your help is basically debilitating them, this is not women empowerment dude ) , and now it comes third typology – which is of Me Types , who are really pissed off just because how some “Budding Journos” are using this Powerful Media to prove a new theory of Women Empowerment, and every single day, what i am perceiving is “NOTHING”

    Well , One More Compliment , thanks for using this sort of English because that’s the only way many Common and Normal Humans could be Safe . . (show off i know u can’t help it )

  6. Khan

    There may be basic equality between men and woman but complete equality is not possible,men and woman are different in their structure,behavior,emotions,delicacy .
    there is always and equity or equivalency that is men have a upper hand in few cases and women in other cases this is how it works in nature and how it should have worked in society.
    We cannot ask complete equality between men and women but there is a dire need for equity.

  7. Crasnic

    08/09/2012Hi there I am so excited I found your wesitbe, I really found you by mistake, while I was researching on Yahoo for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say thank you for a remarkable post and a all round thrilling blog (I also love the theme/design), I done28099t have time to go through it all at the moment but I have bookmarked it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a great deal more, Please do keep up the fantastic job.

More from Mayank Jain

Similar Posts

By Shrsti Tiwari

By Aheed

By Somya Sundriyal

Wondering what to write about?

Here are some topics to get you started

Share your details to download the report.

We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

Share your details to download the report.

We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

An ambassador and trained facilitator under Eco Femme (a social enterprise working towards menstrual health in south India), Sanjina is also an active member of the MHM Collective- India and Menstrual Health Alliance- India. She has conducted Menstrual Health sessions in multiple government schools adopted by Rotary District 3240 as part of their WinS project in rural Bengal. She has also delivered training of trainers on SRHR, gender, sexuality and Menstruation for Tomorrow’s Foundation, Vikramshila Education Resource Society, Nirdhan trust and Micro Finance, Tollygunj Women In Need, Paint It Red in Kolkata.

Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

Saurabh has been associated with YKA as a user and has consistently been writing on the issue MHM and its intersectionality with other issues in the society. Now as an MHM Fellow with YKA, he’s launched the Right to Period campaign, which aims to ensure proper execution of MHM guidelines in Delhi’s schools.

The long-term aim of the campaign is to develop an open culture where menstruation is not treated as a taboo. The campaign also seeks to hold the schools accountable for their responsibilities as an important component in the implementation of MHM policies by making adequate sanitation infrastructure and knowledge of MHM available in school premises.

Read more about his campaign.

Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

Her campaign #MeriMarzi aims to promote menstrual health and wellness, hygiene and facilities for female sex workers in UP. She says, “Knowledge about natural body processes is a very basic human right. And for individuals whose occupation is providing sexual services, it becomes even more important.”

Meri Marzi aims to ensure sensitised, non-discriminatory health workers for the needs of female sex workers in the Suraksha Clinics under the UPSACS (Uttar Pradesh State AIDS Control Society) program by creating more dialogues and garnering public support for the cause of sex workers’ menstrual rights. The campaign will also ensure interventions with sex workers to clear misconceptions around overall hygiene management to ensure that results flow both ways.

Read more about her campaign.

MH Fellow Sabna comes with significant experience working with a range of development issues. A co-founder of Project Sakhi Saheli, which aims to combat period poverty and break menstrual taboos, Sabna has, in the past, worked on the issue of menstruation in urban slums of Delhi with women and adolescent girls. She and her team also released MenstraBook, with menstrastories and organised Menstra Tlk in the Delhi School of Social Work to create more conversations on menstruation.

With YKA MHM Fellow Vineet, Sabna launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society. As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Read more about her campaign. 

A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Find out more about the campaign here.

A native of Bhagalpur district – Bihar, Shalini Jha believes in equal rights for all genders and wants to work for a gender-equal and just society. In the past she’s had a year-long association as a community leader with Haiyya: Organise for Action’s Health Over Stigma campaign. She’s pursuing a Master’s in Literature with Ambedkar University, Delhi and as an MHM Fellow with YKA, recently launched ‘Project अल्हड़ (Alharh)’.

She says, “Bihar is ranked the lowest in India’s SDG Index 2019 for India. Hygienic and comfortable menstruation is a basic human right and sustainable development cannot be ensured if menstruators are deprived of their basic rights.” Project अल्हड़ (Alharh) aims to create a robust sensitised community in Bhagalpur to collectively spread awareness, break the taboo, debunk myths and initiate fearless conversations around menstruation. The campaign aims to reach at least 6000 adolescent girls from government and private schools in Baghalpur district in 2020.

Read more about the campaign here.

A psychologist and co-founder of a mental health NGO called Customize Cognition, Ritika forayed into the space of menstrual health and hygiene, sexual and reproductive healthcare and rights and gender equality as an MHM Fellow with YKA. She says, “The experience of working on MHM/SRHR and gender equality has been an enriching and eye-opening experience. I have learned what’s beneath the surface of the issue, be it awareness, lack of resources or disregard for trans men, who also menstruate.”

The Transmen-ses campaign aims to tackle the issue of silence and disregard for trans men’s menstruation needs, by mobilising gender sensitive health professionals and gender neutral restrooms in Lucknow.

Read more about the campaign here.

A Computer Science engineer by education, Nitisha started her career in the corporate sector, before realising she wanted to work in the development and social justice space. Since then, she has worked with Teach For India and Care India and is from the founding batch of Indian School of Development Management (ISDM), a one of its kind organisation creating leaders for the development sector through its experiential learning post graduate program.

As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

Let’s Talk Period aims to change this by

Find out more about her campaign here.

Share your details to download the report.

We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

A Gender Rights Activist working with the tribal and marginalized communities in india, Srilekha is a PhD scholar working on understanding body and sexuality among tribal girls, to fill the gaps in research around indigenous women and their stories. Srilekha has worked extensively at the grassroots level with community based organisations, through several advocacy initiatives around Gender, Mental Health, Menstrual Hygiene and Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights (SRHR) for the indigenous in Jharkhand, over the last 6 years.

Srilekha has also contributed to sustainable livelihood projects and legal aid programs for survivors of sex trafficking. She has been conducting research based programs on maternal health, mental health, gender based violence, sex and sexuality. Her interest lies in conducting workshops for young people on life skills, feminism, gender and sexuality, trauma, resilience and interpersonal relationships.

A Guwahati-based college student pursuing her Masters in Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Bidisha started the #BleedwithDignity campaign on the technology platform, demanding that the Government of Assam install
biodegradable sanitary pad vending machines in all government schools across the state. Her petition on has already gathered support from over 90000 people and continues to grow.

Bidisha was selected in’s flagship program ‘She Creates Change’ having run successful online advocacy
campaigns, which were widely recognised. Through the #BleedwithDignity campaign; she organised and celebrated World Menstrual Hygiene Day, 2019 in Guwahati, Assam by hosting a wall mural by collaborating with local organisations. The initiative was widely covered by national and local media, and the mural was later inaugurated by the event’s chief guest Commissioner of Guwahati Municipal Corporation (GMC) Debeswar Malakar, IAS.

Sign up for the Youth Ki Awaaz Prime Ministerial Brief below