This post has been self-published on Youth Ki Awaaz by Shefali Parashar. Just like them, anyone can publish on Youth Ki Awaaz.

9 Heroic Decisions By Everyday People That Inspire You To Create A Gender Equal Society

More from Shefali Parashar

By Shefali Parashar:

In a world where we fight on big platforms to bring about a change in the society, there are subtle actions in daily life that lead to a ‘drop by drop’ progress that actually counts. We are often told that just one person’s initiative doesn’t cause change in the world, but in reality, it just takes that one person’s decision to stand against the injustice and become that one hero in someone’s life. We present you nine such heroes who stood up against gender stereotyping and created a whole new definition of courage. It takes bravery to stand up against your enemy, but even more bravery and resolution to speak up against your own families, friends and the society you live in.

1. A husband’s resolution that his wife has the right to decide her identity even after marriage. In most instances, girls are expected to change their surname after marriage, taking up a whole new identity and keeping no ties from her past.

2. A wife’s decision to support her family on her own while her husband pursues higher studies for his career aspirations. Males are generally expected to be the earner of the household, and many end up having a good earning job which they never really wanted.

3. A father’s decision to support his child’s choice of toys because playing with dolls would not make him any less of a man.

4. A girl’s decision to stand up for her life choices and move out of an unequal relationship.

5. A woman’s decision to take up field work because ‘female privileges’ do not account to ‘equal work, equal pay’.

6. A parent’s decision to teach their son and daughter all household work because no work is just a girl’s/ boy’s duty.

7. Accepting the ideology that no one has the right to be violent with anyone on the pretext of being ‘highly emotional’, or vulnerable.

8. A husband’s decision to work from home to take care of their child so that his wife could go to office, because she is not supposed to make all the sacrifices for their kid.

9. A girl’s decision to show her real personality to her future husband and not a fake one, because looks are not consistent throughout life.

You must be to comment.
  1. Babar

    Points 3 and 8 sums up the feminist agenda, where men’s masculinity is being undermined, without taking into account that men and women are different physically, mentally, emotionally, anatomically, biologically, and psychologically. There is something known as masculinity and something known as femininity. Men and women think differently, act differently, and behave differently. They are different.

    Gloria Steinem told us that a woman needs a man as a fish needs a bicycle, and the Gloria Steinem’s of today feel the need to tell men – on blogs, articles, speeches – how men should behave, what they expect from men, how men should run their lives, etc. The truth is, feminists want to dictate how men should live their lives. They want men in servitude.

    Women today despise homemaking, aren’t there for their children because they are too busy working, leave them with babysitters, maids, in-laws, and day care centers, because feminists have told them that a pay check at the end of the month is more important than one’s children, and a woman’s worth is not measured by how good a homemaker she is, but by how much she can earn. Women do not want to take responsibility today, and if you question them, they will tell their husband to leave their job and take care of the kids.

    A woman’s entire body points to the fact that motherhood is a woman’s job, not the father’s. A child is also more emotionally connected to the mother. During court cases, children are handed to mothers. During settlements, women usurp half of men’s properties. Women take alimony from men. But when it comes to taking care of the children, men should sit at home and women should go to work.

    Equality is only applicable when it works in favour of women.

    And the most important point has been missed in the article. Women always marry men richer than them, earning more than them, men who are ‘well-settled’. Perhaps this can change to achieve gender equality.

    This will never change because men have been reduced to ATMs, who must house their wives, let them drive their car, take them to restaurants, on vacations, holidays, buy them jewellery, take them shopping, spend on their clothes, cosmetics, sandals, purses, spa, beauty saloons, pedicures, manicures, etc.

    1. An In-Your-Face Liberal

      Motherhood is a woman’s job. And parenthood?
      P.S.- You hate that women work, you hate that they don’t earn as much as their husbands, so they marry richer men.
      Logic hates you.

    2. Babar

      Feminism was funded by the Rockefellers in the early 1960s to send women in the workforce, so that the other half of the population could be taxed; it was a gimmick to control society and prey on wage earners. The entire base of feminism was founded on the basis of creating an imaginary world of inequality and patriarchy, where the bosses in control pitted men and women against each other, or more precisely, women against men, sat back, relaxed, and watched as their heinous game unfolded. The net result with women in the workforce was a generation of neglected children, havoc in families, and an increase in divorce rates – all the while mockery was made of the sacred institution of marriage while those in control collected their dollars.

      It was necessary that a negative image of men was created by the media, as it furthered the agenda of feminists, because men-hating was a necessary part of the entire scheme of feminism to control and dominate. In a short span of 50 years, families have been destroyed, children have grown up with single parents, women have been targeted with an intense hatred of men, as love means marriage with a man, and that is detrimental for what feminism stands for. The idea of an arranged marriage is cringed upon, love marriages take the limelight, and with that comes the need for multiple transient sexual relationships – all the while the goal of feminists is propelled towards destruction of family life. The mass indoctrination has come with a huge cost, in which both men and women have suffered. While feminism talks about the liberation of women, it does the exact opposite.

    3. Ritomaitree

      You live in some self created twisted and deformed reality of urs. Just get out of ur four walls nd confirm whether its earth that u have made ur home or some other planet. Seriouly u need to go for a reality check specially when u say that girls always marry richer men so that don’t have to work nd can shop.

    4. Cees Tompot

      Babar, You are consequent in giving misinformation and present it as the only truth. Of course feminism was not started by the Rockefellers. Simone de Beauvoir wrote her The second sex already in 1949 and she definitely was not the first one. In the twenties and thirties women – supported by many men – already fought for and obtained the right to vote. More and more women started participating in university education. More and more people started to understand that treating others respectfully and thus as equals is not only meant for constitutions, but worth to be practised in real life. Try it and you will experience a win-win situation.

      Babar, I really would like to know more about your background. Why do you write under a pseudonym? I have no psychological schooling whatsoever, but I really wonder what harm has been done to you by women. Probably in early youth. But whatever personal experiences you had, they are never a reason to be angry at all representatives of the female sexe.

    5. Kiara

      Firstly gender roles is a thing of the past. Men are forced to fit stereotypes as much as women are restricted to theirs. Men are speaking up for changes as much as women are standing up for themselves. Its a time of change, like it or not. Its not that all women choose to work, or all men choose to work. Everyone has unique set of circumstances and have to choose accordingly. After having seen the horrible treatment of women over the past century and even before, dowry deaths, infanticide, rapes etc. which are still continuing, people wanted to empower their daughters rather than raise them for ‘slaughter’ due to societal expectations. Its a direct result of patriarchal values and subsequent injustice, the imbalance was started right when people expected women to pay dowry as a compensation for not having a job. A woman’s body is equipped for motherhood, but that does not mean every woman wants or needs to be one. Just like not every single sperm (which is also a potential child) needs to become a person, not every woman is obligated to undergo those changes if she doesnt wish to.
      The gender roles worked in a time where society was based on it. In todays world we don’t have those obligations. Any one can get a job, support themselves. They have a wider scope of making choices and can question the previous norms. Women have always been at the mercy of men. Domestic abuse was considered ‘normal’. Women had no say about their bodies. Men had no accountability. All this will seem like ‘feminist propaganda’ to a misogynist like yourself. But its the glaring truth , something women had no right to voice until recently.
      The conspiracy theories are only a way to suit your point. Women started working around the time of second world war when more hands were needed for the work. Things started changing after that. When women realised they could as easily do the work that men do.
      As for physical strength, its true men are naturally designed for more physical labour, but most jobs today require very little labour . Its all about the mind. Anyone can train the mind. Women do have a larger corpus callosum, which allows them to have a good understanding of long term plans and bigger picture. Males have a good structure for finer details. This is not exactly universal. Yes women too exhibit the entire spectrum of behaviours depending on how they tackle their situations like males do. The only reason why this seems ‘odd’ is because our society has been heavily imbalanced by male priveleges. So any shift seems inconvinient. Much like how Britishers must have felt when Indians rebelled against their rule. As a woman I would much rather stay unmarried and support my family than get married to a jerk who would believe the things you just wrote in your comments. I also know many women who would make this choice. However I am glad more people are changing. Should you ever be a parent of a girl who is destined for such a fate I can totally empathise with her sentiments. While you continue to want the ‘old times’ where it was convinient and women didnt have the right to ‘reject’ a man , and a male ego was to be protected and nurtured at all costs, its not gonna happen. Once women realise they have a choice they wont make the same choices that led them down such a dark path. Let women speak for themselves. you or any male does not get to decide how women should live their life. When women and men actually make genuine choices and create relationships not out of obligations but willingly choosing to spend their lives together, its a very meaningful long lasting relationship. Forcing terms and conditions is a sure fire way to ruining it. There is a long way to go in restoring balance, it wont happen in a century, atleast not in the face of long standing patriarchy. Women are also going to start at the very extreme but eventually both will be balanced. Both extremes are disruptive but balance cant just happen in a day.

    6. Babar

      Even women are waking up to the lies and deceit of feminism – Women Against Feminism.

      http://youtu.be/juR74OYiegY

    7. Kiara

      You obvously do not understand ‘feminism’ one bit. Firstly the right of that woman to associate herself with any label or not is a result of the wave of ‘feminism’. Secondly her opinion is her own. The whole point of my comment, which you didnt care to read is that women get to choose for themselves. Feminism isnt a fixed set of beliefs but acknowledging that women too have a right to choose for themselves. Not all women agree with what it represents, cause everyone is defining it according to their own needs. But in the big picture feminism is simply realising women need not conform to rules of men. They get to choose. They can just as easily choose a life of tending to family and taking care of kids and still be feminists. There is no restriction to what they can or cannot choose. But the core issue is choice. Feminism is an entire spectrum of all female issues everywhere and it is still a work under progress. We have yet to reach a conclusion and reach a point of harmony. This is the time of transition and recognising where changes have to be made.You are probably too ignorant and immature to understand this concept altogether so its futile to argue.

    8. Babar

      Women already have a choice. They can vote, stand for election, work, earn, get an education, and have a career, but they still bring up issues of equality because they like playing victims in order to gain undeserved privileges. There are cries of reservation in the political arena and the corporate world, because women cannot compete with men fairly.

      Women always marry men richer than them, and men earning more than them – When was the last time you saw a woman marry someone poorer than her? Men always leave their seats for women – When was the last time you saw a woman leave her seat for a man? Women have lifeboats reserved for them during ship wreckages – Why not for men?

      Women also have legal privileges, where they only need to point a finger at innocent men and have him rot in jail over false cases of dowry, molestation, rape and domestic abuse. Women do this without a care in the world about a man’s life, future, career, family, reputation, life, etc.

      The media sensationalizes crimes against women, even though more crimes are committed against men. During war, when referring to casualties, news reports mention the number of ‘women and children’ who die. It is almost as though the deaths of men, or crimes against them either do not matter, or are insignificant when compared to women.

      According to the Canadian statistics on gender equality: Women receive physical custody of 92% of all children of separation, and men only 4%, women are acquitted of spousal murder at a rate 9 times that of men, men are sentenced 2.8 times longer than women for spousal murder, men commit suicide at 4 times the rate of women, live an average of 7 years less than women, account for more than 95% of all workplace fatalities, and are murdered at a rate 5 times that of women.

    9. Kiara

      Hmm when did I last see a woman marry a guy ‘poorer’ than him? many times, people take such decisions when its a ‘love’ affair. But tell me how many women had to pay dowry for all those years , so many abused and killed over it!!!!!! Men have no issues taking dowry from women even if their parents have top take loans for it. But when a woman with decent education seeks out to ‘buy’ a good purchase of a groom you cry foul. Twisted logic dont you think? checkmate !
      Women can easily compete with men given the opportunities. Workplace sexism is a very real issue. Girls are known to generally score and average higher than their male counterparts in schools. Training a mind does not require anything except conditions to allow for it.
      Didnt you mention men are physically stronger than women? So its probably justified by your recognition of this fact that they should be given seats and reservations in a situation where men can afford to show off their masculinity? I would be ok with no reservations of seats , but when a male dominated society makes the rules, the only way to bring balance is to make it mandatory to have sufficient representation of women cause we have all seen how ‘fair’ the patriarchal system has been to women for so many centuries. A lot of the measures you mentioned are a direct result of unfair patriarchal practices and making laws is the only way to counter these. Did you read the article where women were ‘banned’ from being make up artists in bollywood because the union wanted males to have those well paying jobs??? The court ofcourse ruled it as an illegal ban and revoked it. But imagine how ‘fair’ the system would be without the changes to our laws recently. you fail to recognise what preceded these changes, you only cry foul when you notice women are finally getting a social standing. Females were kept illiterate, uneducated for the longest time because of men like yourself, so ofcurse to compare women , who are still expected to be taking care of household duties besides their workplace obligations, is unfair in and of itself. You are completely blind to any and all atrocities that led us to this point, and seem to only recognise the inconvinience you are facing now . When women were dominated they were supressed deliberately and deprived of even having an opinion about their lives. Inequal pay is a global issue!!! Women are payed less compared to their male counterparts. Sexually harassed at workplace. Women have to deal with all the issues caused by a patraicrhal society. The handful of fake rape cases in proportion to all cases of dowry deaths, female infanticide, rapes, acid throwing, etc are insignificant to the point of non-existent.Our society has many serious issues to deal with, having earned the title of ‘rape capital’. No one cared when so many rape cases werent even being reported. All this has lead us to require laws to protect us. And still we have such predatory men everywhere who feel entitled to violate a woman. If you can ignore all that just to make women go back to the 18th century status then i have no words left for you. you are ofcourse in for a severe disappointment. Your points don’t come from looking consistently at both sides of the story and hence hold no value or merit in the discussion. I replied hoping you are capable of some self-reflection. I am just glad people like yourself are a minority in today’s generation.

    10. Babar

      No one talks about sexism against men, there is no concern about misandry in the media, we can’t care less about domestic violence against men, even though it is growing in India. It remains a fact that more than 40% of domestic violence victims are men. The media will not highlight men’s problems because it is not good for business, even though a man in India commits suicide every six minutes.

    11. Babar

      There is just as much violence against men as there is against women. Men, generally, do not report violence by women because it is embarrassing and considered unmanly to do so. Furthermore, you can also be a victim of death threats from feminists if you dare raise your voice against domestic violence perpetrated by women (Google Erin Pizzey). People sympathize with women’s causes because of the hype in the media about violence against women, and the media selectively chooses to represent issues of one gender only because it sells.

      No one forces a woman’s parents to give dowry on gunpoint. They give dowry because of their desperation to marry off their daughters. And the fact is, most women get enough in jewellery than any amount of dowry they can ever pay, not to mention cash and gifts for the whole family of the bride. I have not even begun on how women live in their husband’s house, drive their husband’s car, shop with their husband’s money, eat at restaurants with husband’s pay, buy purses, sandals, and cosmetics with husband’s income, and live luxuriously courtesy of their husbands. For women today, a husband is an ATM, driver, porter, and dildo.

    12. Kiara

      People force a girl’s parents for dowry. The society is structured so that parents felt desperate to get daughters married, also because the male memeber controls her life and feels ashamed in front of other males if his daughter isnt married or hasnt had a child yet. Thankfully with feminism thats changing. you have just proven yourself in favour of dowry deaths. violence against women is a direct relation to patriarchal society. However you seem so blind to ground reality that any further discussion is moot. you are either a person with lack of intellectual integrity or massive oedipus complex. So please continue with your thoughts, Like I said people like yourself will soon be a minority. All you can do is crib 🙂 Enjoy

    13. Babar

      You fail to acknowledge that the biggest perpetrators of violence are women, whether in the form of mothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, or daughters-in-law, you refuse to accept that men are victims of sexism, violence, and misandry, you choose to selectively reply when you are given a response, and you mention that fake cases of dowry, rape, molestation, and domestic violence are ‘negligible’, repeating the feminist rhetoric that only women are human beings.

      As for your propaganda about sexism at the workplace, you are paid for your work according to your experience, academic credentials, skills, and how well you do your job. It is not a question of a man and a woman working the same job not being paid the same, even two men or two women working the same job will not be paid the same. Two doctors, two engineers, two teachers, etc, will be paid differently. Secondly, women earn less because women work less number of hours than men, take maternity leave, work easier jobs than men, and take courses in college which pay less.

      http://youtu.be/vyFjPHwF6To

    14. Babar

      It is amusing that feminists cannot write a single comment without indulging in personal attacks. 🙂

    15. Babar

      …you are either a person with lack of intellectual integrity or massive oedipus complex.

      Oedipus complex? I am not your dad.

    16. Babar

      Comments from feminists are abusive and taunting in nature because they can’t defend their absurd and bizarre theories in a rational manner, want men to succumb to their lies and deceits about liberation, and want everyone to follow their whims and desires.

    17. pankaj

      Kiara, while I agree in principle with some of the things you have said because I am against gender roles. But I feel that the modern feminist movement is very selective about the gender roles it likes and the ones it doesn’t like. The gender roles that help women it does not object to too much. In any case I think this whole idea of women being the oppressed class and men having all the privileges is not entirely accurate. This is more true of the present of course, but even if you look at it historically, men had onerous obligations, like being conscripted in the army and the possibility of dying in battle.

      Today, modern, educated, urban women (agreed its a small demographic but is definitely growing very rapidly) have several privileges over their male counterparts. In fact they have the best of both worlds. They have the right, but not the obligation to work. They can leave their job if they dont like it, or take a less stressful part time job and spend more time with their children. Their husbands do not have that option. Society as well as their wives expect them to keep working in a high pressure job to support the family, even if they hate their job. Remember, its only a very small proportion of people who actually love their job, so this whole thing of men having the privilege of ‘being able to pursue their career’ is a bit overdone, its more of an onerous obligation. Now it’s laudable that you personally don’t want to enjoy that privilege, as you have said in your post. But many modern feminists, want men to give up their privileges but to keep their obligations. So, Indian feminists want stronger alimony laws and last year lobbied for a ridiculous bill in parliament that would have given the wife a share even in the husband’s inherited and inheritable property in case of a divorce. Similarly, they had got enacted a domestic violence law in 2010 that widened the meaning of domestic violence to include things like emotional abuse, verbal abuse etc, they made sure that the law was not gender neutral, so that only wives could benefit from it. Even if we were to make the questionable assumption that women are not capable of physical abuse, surely women can indulge in emotional and verbal abuse? You spoke of dowry. Well, we have a very draconian and heavily misused anti dowry law. But feminists always oppose attempts to modify the law and make it less prone to misuse. Under Indian law, a man going back on his promise of marriage after consensual sex is considered rape and this is prone to misuse by women who have a bad breakup after a live in relationship. Also under Indian law, a man can be tried for adultery but not a woman. Now these are deeply sexist and patriarchal laws that assume that a woman can do no wrong and always has to be protected. But this is sexism that is beneficial to women and feminists oppose any changes to these laws

      Girls doing better than boys in board exams, or girls forming the majority of the student population at Stephens is considered a good thing and its not considered sexist to explain this off as girls are just smarter than boys. But fewer girls in the IITs and IIMs is considered a cause of concern requiring action.

      The above are just a few examples of ‘benevolent sexism’ that feminists want to preserve

      So while I am against gender roles, and while I am happy that in your post you have said you support absolute equality, I feel that many women activists want to selectively change gender roles that affect women and not those that affect men. They want to eat their cake and have it too

    18. TheSeeker

      In point 3, it was the boy’s choice to choose the Barbie. He WANTED it. In fact he doesn’t even know anything about femininity or masculinity. So can’t you see? Humans aren’t born feminine or masculine. They are taught (forced, in fact) to behave in a particular way. Now THAT should change.

    19. Babar

      Are you going to give anything and everything that a boy wants, without making sure that it is suitable for him?

    20. TheSeeker

      Of course not, but a Barbie is harmless. Just as it is harmless for a girl to choose a toy car. i don’t find anything harmful here.

    21. Kiara

      @Babar
      This is the very core issue. Choice is a choice. You cannot impose restrictions on someone else’s free will. GI joe being a very violent themed ‘toys’ could very easily be off putting. Barbie is just a human figure. A child can be easily curious about either. The stereotypes of men should learn to fight and females should learn to cook are no longer valid. So you dont get to decide what may or may not be suitable for someone who is just beginning to explore the world , based on your personal world view. Ofcourse ignorant parents do it all the time until finally children have to aggressively rebel just to break free of the impositions.

    22. Kiara

      The moment you start conditioning children to make those distinctions is where you ingrain a sense of inequality in the child’s mind in terms of treatment. A child should be allowed to come to terms with his/her own enviroment. Sure safety is a different issue. But the ideas like this child of this gender should like this is just a very ‘dictator’ like thinking.

    23. Babar

      Out of all the toys in the world, all you have is your eyes set on barbie dolls for boys. 🙂

    24. TheSeeker

      We mean to say that a child can play with any toy he wants and no one should restrict him because it is against the ‘essence of his/her gender’. Unless it’s potentially harmful of course.

    25. Babar

      I have more important things to discuss than barbies for boys.

    26. TheSeeker

      I doubt that, because all u ever do on YKA is copy and paste the same comments on other articles. We get your point. At least write comments that are related to the articles or write ur own article.

    27. Ritu Sharma

      Yes there is something called as masculinity and there is something called as femininity. Please get it straight that it does not imply that women are the weaker sex. Both are different agreed but not UNEQUAL.
      I am not a supporter of feminism because I do not believe in chauvinism. For eg: Any individual whether a man or woman would be equally feminine in their behavior with their 7 months old baby.
      PS: I am really curious to know how YOU define chauvinism and masculinity ? and please I request you to not take the support of any anti feminist videos or theorists. I think that everyone is capable to speak their opinion.

    28. Ritu Sharma

      Yes there is something called as masculinity and there is something called as femininity. Please get it straight that it does not imply that women are the weaker sex. Both are different agreed but not UNEQUAL.
      I am not a supporter of feminism because I do not believe in chauvinism. For eg: Any individual whether a man or woman would be equally feminine in their behavior with their 7 months old baby.
      PS: I am really curious to know how YOU define chauvinism and masculinity ? and please I request you to not take the support of any anti feminist videos or theorists. I think that everyone is capable to speak their opinion.

    29. Prashant

      Read points 3 and 8 once again. They are personal choices and preferences. This article is about how people can make choices and accept the choices made by others without creating problems. Anybody with some basic common sense can understand how much a father’s decision to support his child’s choice of toys and the general financial situation of the genders.

      “But when it comes to taking care of the children, men should sit at home and women should go to work.”

      Point 8 is again about the personal decision of a person. After all, somebody must take care of the children. The article does not direct that men “should” or women “should”. Most of your statements are not based on what is given in the article, which means that the comment is irrelevant and meaningless.

      By the way, why have you mentioned Gloria Steinem’s views here? From what you say, it seems the least connected to the discussion, because you have written “should” everywhere, indicating a sense of compulsion and obligation. All the nine points in this article are choices.

  2. Babar

    If women believed in equality, they would never marry men richer than them. Women from middle class families hunt for men who are financially well-off, and after marriage go on a shopping spree, because they have never experienced luxury before. Men should do themselves a favour and also start practicing equality, where every man will marry a woman who is at par with him in riches and income, because such prospective wives would have already experienced a good lifestyle and will not go berserk with incessant demands after marriage.

    1. Ritu Sharma

      LOL is all I can say!! Lord oh Lord What is your problem ? If according to you (again a generalization on women as if you know all of them!!) , women choose rich husbands am sure men would not be that generous in not choosing “good looking woman” over “an average looking woman” as wife? Show me a case where a man has happily said that look my wife is NOT RICH, NOT THAT GOOD LOOKING but I still love her !! I could have blamed ALL the Men for the above typed comment of mine but I will not.

    2. Babar

      Men marry average looking women from middle class families all the time. Besides, are you saying that a man will only love a woman is she is beautiful? Are you serious with your comment?

    3. Ritu Sharma

      Congrats!!You still did not understood what I did with the last comment.:p I just wanted to enlighten you on the fact how irrelevant your point is. I have clearly mentioned that I can say such stupid things to justify myself as a woman but I will not do it.!! That’s the level of irrelevance!!

    4. just a human with no gender,no religion and no nationality

      BY BABAR,
      If women believe in gender equality, they should
      1. Stop asking men to leave their seats for them
      2. Refuse to take alimony
      3. Don’t treat husband’s as an ATM
      4. Don’t usurp half of a man’s property during a divorce.
      5. Refuse to benefit from special quotas.
      6. Fight against discrimination by juries against men.
      7. Refuse to benefit from a biased court system.
      8. Treat domestic violence against men with the same regard as against women
      9. Do away with the legal privileges, where a woman only has to point a finger at a man and land him behind bars.
      10. Recognize rape of men by women.

      TO BABAR.
      I agree with u for all 10 points.I support u for (only) these 10 points. At the same time i wanna tell to men, first of all there are exceptions, i am different from another person who are against the 10 points u mention an in the the same way there are exceptions in men, obviously, even they are humans.So what i wanna tell with respect to-
      POINT 3, do not see your wives as a cooking cum reproductive cum atm(dowry) machine.
      POINT 4, do not ask for dowry and divide the cost of marriage among both families equally.
      POINT 5, do not deny womenf their fundamental rights because they are women.
      POINT 6, go with the truth even if the crime is done by ur own mother to ur wife.
      POINT 7, do not watch and sit idle when a man who is to be in bars is not in bars.
      POINT 10, in the same way how women report crime, report crime done to u. It is not a shame for a man to tell aloud that he is a victim.

    5. Babar

      Women receive a lot more in jewellery worth lacs and clothes and gifts for the entire family than men receive in dowry. Besides, women themselves use whatever they bring in dowry. Furthermore, if receiving dowry is illegal, then women receiving jewellery at the time of marriage by the groom should also be illegal.

  3. Babar

    Women ask for the same pay in the army, in the police force, as construction workers, and firefighters, but many do not pass the tests, many are inapt when it comes to physical endurance and are given positions accordingly, while in many places the requirement for physical standards is different for men and women, especially in the police force, which shows that women cannot compete with men. There are many tasks that require heavy lifting and physical strength, and it is fact that men do much better than women when it comes to such feats. Furthermore, many men have suffered in dangerous jobs requiring physical exertion, while the fact remains that the top ten dangerous jobs in the world are worked by men. There can be no comparison between men and women when it comes to the workforce.

    http://youtu.be/ERwzqvs7vvU

  4. Templetwins

    Motherhood is mothers job and fatherhood is fathers job, I don’t know what is the confusion. Gender roles were based on the principle that both men and woman can do jobs which they can do at best, it worked during the harsh times(hunter/gatherer, tribals, wars) and it was enforced by people in power for both men and women. So blaming men for all the issues is unproductive because even when women was ruling, the same gender roles were enforced.

    Kiara, I partly agree with most of what you say but my issue is your focus on male privilege, but failed to acknowledge that in patriarchy, there was female privilege & female obligation and also male privilege and male obligation. Now fast forward in this changing times, where female obligation and male privilege is fading, we still have male obligation and female privilege which puts women in a pedestal and denies men their rights, since they are obligated to provide for their wife even after separation. This is a power imbalance we have to recognize.

    Dowry is not just a womans issue. Since fathers were/are expected to be the sole providers, it was a burden placed on them. When IRBM was introduced womens union enforced a law where the husband has to share his ancestral property too and they claimed most women are still dependent on their husbands? So why should husbands be punished for the incompetence of her parents in making her independent financially? Where is equality in this?

    I don’t really want to go back to how things were, where men would be forced into labor and women would sitting in their asses and watching serials all day. Housework used to be tough prior to the industrial revolution, now, not so much, even I could do it in my free time. We live in a service oriented economy where physical labor is not used by the majority and I want women to be in the workforce and be productive and help financially too. And in jobs which requires physical labor(constructions or otherwise), I would want men to be paid more than women who are doing desk jobs.

    Hmm when did I last see a woman marry a guy ‘poorer’ than him? many times, people take such decisions when its a ‘love’ affair.

    These anecdotal evidences are negligible, you just have to go to matrimonial websites and see even if women are earning lakhs they feel entitled to marry up. This is endorsed culturally, the reason being that because of that entitlement women wouldn’t respect the man who is earning less than her, she would shame his masculinity and such. Some may say that the male ego wont allow it, but in reality women are getting benefited by this arrangement.

    Men have no issues taking dowry from women even if their parents have top take loans for it.

    Men has to provide financially to their unemployed wives, it is considered domestic abuse to not to do so. The contrary is not applicable, if divorced, a man has to share half of his property, even ancestral property too, child-support and alimony are added incentives.

    Didnt you mention men are physically stronger than women? So its probably justified by your recognition of this fact that they should be given seats and reservations in a situation where men can afford to show off their masculinity?

    Well it is true that men are stronger physically and it is also claimed that women can handle more pain than men(child birth). Hence women can stand and give seats for men and handle the pain their legs. Women can also intervene when a man is being assaulted by someone and can take punches for that hypothetical man and use their pain tolerance ability and embrace their femininity.

    you only cry foul when you notice women are finally getting a social standing

    When women cried sexism, men recognized it and made all the required amendments even at the expense of men. Then after decades of changes, men are crying sexism, women simply blame patriarchy and call it social standing. Both traditional men and feminist men are gynocentric. While traditional men see women as weak and make sexist amendments in law, while feminist men see women as equal and remove any amendments which favor men in order to remove the male privilege. So the resulting thing is we have women sitting on the shoulders of men,enforce men into labor (embracing their female privilege) and claiming to be equal while asking govt/men for more resources, . Women exploit all of these while maintaining their victim pullpit.

    About boys wanting to play with dolls which is kind of enforced in countries like Sweden as they feel that gender is a social construct and there is no difference between sexes. Here is a video/study which explores on that idea and prove it otherwise.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5LRdW8xw70

    1. D Gill

      Babar stop posting that. You misunderstood that video. See the girls explanation on her FB page. Its not against feminism its against certain aspects of modern feminism.

  5. JD

    So, a tree fell on a man’s house one day and destroyed his living room. From that day on, he hated trees. He declared that trees are evil and their only purpose is to fall on people’s homes and destroy their living rooms. And he hated those who said we should plant more trees to protect the earth. For he knew the earth was well protected since age eternity, and planting more trees was just a sinister plot of those people to destroy more homes.

    Meh. O’ cynicism ! But for you, advocacy would so not be worth it.

  6. Jigsaw

    “Woman is a violent and uncontrolled animal… If you allow them to achieve complete equality with men, do you think they will be easier to live with? Not at all. Once they have achieved equality, they will be your masters.” (Cato the Elder)

  7. The Joker

    A woman is like a hazardous chemical more deserving of a warning label than any decent man’s attention.

  8. Dark Knight

    Feminism is designed to make women feel unworthy for devoting their lives to the people they love. We are told that our differences are “socially conditioned.” Ironically this lie is the actual “social conditioning”. Differences are inborn. For example, males have ten times the level of testosterone as women, and this determines their willingness to take risks etc. That explains why top business people are men.

    1. Pandora

      Oh right, because ofcourse its always been a fair competition between men and women! there are plenty of women CEO now. I think all misogynists should unite and spew crap somewhere else. I can’t wait for human race to evolve to the point where black widow spider and anacondas have evolved. That would be a great way to control population as well.

  9. Babar

    Feminists, with their notions of equality have engaged women in a battle with men. Women think achieving gender equality is going to liberate them, whereas the fact is that equality is a very catchy slogan. Women have been created by God, or call it nature if you will, for a specific purpose. They are loving and caring and have nurturing tendencies which suits their role of motherhood. To fulfill such an important and delicate purpose, women were enriched with specific emotions. These emotions were supposed to help in the upbringing of children. However, today women measure their worth with how much they earn, while children are being left with babysitters and in day care centers. Feminism has, very deceptively, started sending women in the workforce, telling them that they are as good as men, taking away their peace of mind and comfort that only a loving home and children can provide.

    Feminist articles scream ‘women don’t need men’. How is this good for the upbringing of healthy children and husband-wife relationship? Feminism aims to make women tough and independent, snatch their femininity, and make them unaccountable. Divorce rates are rising because women today try to act like men. How does a man deal with a woman who does not have any femininity, and acts unnatural to how God has created her? At the same time, men are being looked down upon, disgraced, and their hatred is infiltrated in women’s hearts. Women can abuse men and no one raises an eyebrow, but if the opposite happens, women have an ocean of legal privileges to support them. Women have special quotas, are not under obligation to support a man, and no one questions women for many things for which a man will come under immediate scrutiny. Even in schools, girls get away with a lot of things for which boys are punished severely. Women marry men richer than them. Women ask men to leave their seats for them. Juries discriminate against men. Courts hand stricter sentences to men for the same crimes that women commit. Men have to give alimony. Men have to give half of their property during a divorce.

    All over the world, men are treated more harshly than women, while women have advantages, privileges, and benefits in every sphere of life, all over the world. There is no such thing as equality. There can never be.

    1. Shefali Parashar

      Since you have been so consistent in flooding my article with your daily comments, I think I owe you a reply for the sake of your dedication. Of all the things you have said in your previous comments, the thing that struck me the hardest was that “women have been created by God for a specific purpose.” By this, you obviously mean child bearing, taking care of the household etc. So, you mean to say that the gender roles which are being passed on in the society since the beginning should be kept as they are. A person should do what they are born to do which according to you, obviously depends on their body type, way of thinking etc. Well, who decided what they are ‘meant’ to do? I am sure there are women who are happy to take their nurturing roles and become homemakers. Just like some doctor’s son might be happy to take up the medical profession. But however, there are exceptions. There are women who do not wish to be homemakers but instead want to go out and earn some money, there are children of doctors who do not wish to be doctors, there are men who do not wish to love a woman, there are women who do not wish to marry, there are people who are not happy with what they were ‘supposed’ to do.
      As you had said, that women are made to believe that they are not happy in their lives as mothers or housewives, leading them rebel against such traditions and demand atrocious things like ‘gender equality’. I understand that in some notions feminism had been labelled as ‘man hating’ which it is totally not. It merely means equal rights for women. This is mainly because for so long women had kept quiet about the unfair life they had been leading. Apart from the numerous crimes against women, even their domestic environment made them to kill their dreams and lead a life that they never wanted to have. I also understand that there have been instances where it has been used against men leading to their disadvantage in many situations. But like I said earlier, there are always exceptions. However, from your comments I feel that you are completely against the concept of gender equality. Like I had said in the article, gender equality is not just about equal rights for women, but also for men. It’s a mutual process. You cannot turn a blind eye to the fact that women are now in the outside world, so it’s better that we just accept this fact and create a fair environment.
      I respect your views even when they are against gender equality because the whole point is not to force your opinions on anyone- let men decide what they want, let women decide what they want. Nobody should dictate anyone on what life choices they should make or what opinions they should hold. Not even society.
      Peace out.

    2. Babar

      Thank you for the reply. You claim that I do not believe in gender equality is false. I am a huge supporter of women’s rights, which is why I believe in healthy marriages, which are a source of happiness for men and women. Furthermore, I also believe that a woman can have a career if she chooses to. However, as already mentioned, I am against the systematic and strategic brainwashing of women which places and measures a woman’s worth with what she can do outside the home. This creates disharmony in marriages, and children are now being left to grow in the care of nannies, in-laws, babysitters, etc. Furthermore, it wasn’t until the 1960s that the Rockefellers started sending women in the workforce so that the other half of the population could be taxed. The agenda continues until today, in the name of feminism.

    3. Babar

      If women believe in gender equality, they should

      1. Stop asking men to leave their seats for them
      2. Refuse to take alimony
      3. Don’t treat husband’s as an ATM
      4. Don’t usurp half of a man’s property during a divorce.
      5. Refuse to benefit from special quotas.
      6. Fight against discrimination by juries against men.
      7. Refuse to benefit from a biased court system.
      8. Treat domestic violence against men with the same regard as against women
      9. Do away with the legal privileges, where a woman only has to point a finger at a man and land him behind bars.
      10. Recognize rape of men by women.

  10. .

    Don’t you all think that Babar always escapes when he has nothing to say to prove his point? Then he finds another victim article to attack 😀 What a coward.

  11. Babar

    Why don’t feminists ever talk about love between husband and wife?

  12. Babar

    Women are not following their natural instinct for motherhood and love. Women have suppressed their need for love because feminists have told them that they must compete with men. Feminists who proudly claim that they do not want to get married play with other women’s children and secretly wish they had some of their own. You will even see women with plastic baby toys, but confidently claim that they do not wish to have children, and are more than happy with a career. You can lie to others. You cannot lie to yourself.

    1. Malavika

      You’re kidding, right?
      If it is in a woman’s nature to want to have children (it isn’t, by the way; just because I CAN have a child doesn’t mean I WANT to), shouldn’t it be in a man’s nature to be a good father? Doesn’t that mean that if the situation demands it, he should be okay with the woman working? And not all feminists are anti-marriage; furthermore, feminists are not man-haters. Personally, I consider myself a feminist; I respect my father’s as well as my mother’s roles in my life. My father works; my mother doesn’t; and both are important. Conversely, if my mother were to work and my father were to stay at home, that would be equally okay too.
      As a feminist, I want equality. I do not close my eyes to male rape, or to male stereotyping, or to misandry. I fight for equality across the board: sexless equality.
      When did ‘feminist’ become equated with ‘man-hater’ anyway?
      And you, sir, are disgustingly patriarchal. Just a hint.

  13. Gaurav

    Indian women do not believe in point 2 and point 8. the writer is not speaking the truth.

  14. MAK

    This Babar guy is the worst form of chauvinist I have seen. People like him are the reason we Indians are where we are today with one of the highest rates of rape and domestic violence.

  15. Aditya

    I broke up with my girlfriend because she wanted me not to talk to any other girl, wanted to keep a check on what I wear..

  16. karishma

    Darn! I certainly wish these stupid misogynist men took a one way trip to mars. Life would be much easier for us without you and yours without us.

    At Shefali…. That is a lovely piece on equality of genders 🙂

    1. Prashant

      I hope going on a one way trip to Mars requires qualifications better than being a “stupid misogynist man”.

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An ambassador and trained facilitator under Eco Femme (a social enterprise working towards menstrual health in south India), Sanjina is also an active member of the MHM Collective- India and Menstrual Health Alliance- India. She has conducted Menstrual Health sessions in multiple government schools adopted by Rotary District 3240 as part of their WinS project in rural Bengal. She has also delivered training of trainers on SRHR, gender, sexuality and Menstruation for Tomorrow’s Foundation, Vikramshila Education Resource Society, Nirdhan trust and Micro Finance, Tollygunj Women In Need, Paint It Red in Kolkata.

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Saurabh has been associated with YKA as a user and has consistently been writing on the issue MHM and its intersectionality with other issues in the society. Now as an MHM Fellow with YKA, he’s launched the Right to Period campaign, which aims to ensure proper execution of MHM guidelines in Delhi’s schools.

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Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

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MH Fellow Sabna comes with significant experience working with a range of development issues. A co-founder of Project Sakhi Saheli, which aims to combat period poverty and break menstrual taboos, Sabna has, in the past, worked on the issue of menstruation in urban slums of Delhi with women and adolescent girls. She and her team also released MenstraBook, with menstrastories and organised Menstra Tlk in the Delhi School of Social Work to create more conversations on menstruation.

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A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

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As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

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A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

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