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[Video] Hitting Back Or Holding Back: When Is Violence Justified?

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Where do we draw the line between self defence and violence?
Who actually perpetrates violence?
What prevents you from intervening in situations of violence or abuse?

“Black or White?”, or, “लातों के भूत बातों से नहीं मानते! ”, the latest Agenda 1 project film, features the voices of two young men and two young women from Delhi. There is a pressing need to engage men in fighting abuse and discrimination against women.

In January 2011, the International Men and Gender Equality Survey (IMAGES) questionnaire reported that 24% of Indian men had committed sexual violence at some point during their lives, and 65% of Indian men believe women should tolerate violence in order to keep the family together, and women sometimes deserve to be beaten. In the survey, which found Indian men to be the worst offenders in terms of sexual violence, more than 1,000 men from the 1,500 interviewed in India were from Delhi.

India ranked last of six developing countries on the Gender Equitable Men scale in a survey by the Centre of Research on Women, US, and Instituto Promundon in Brazil. Indian men are great believers in gender-based segregation of work with 86% thinking that changing diapers, bathing and feeding children is a woman’s job. Moreover, roughly 80% of Indian men say they should have the final word on decisions in the house.

Information source: International Center for Research on Women

To know more about what I think of this video, follow me on twitter at @Akhil1490

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  1. Templetwins

    There is a pressing need to engage men in fighting abuse and discrimination against women.

    Count me out. Men should treat women like how they treat other men, no special status or concern, if you think that is wrong, then perhaps men should treat other men with more respect, rather than a competition for wooing women.

    The girl in the video said she expected her bf to punch some guy in the face for trying to grab her butt and to be her unpaid bodyguard, which pushes men into his default gender roles as a protector and it reinforces male disposablity, when she herself wouldn’t put herself in harms way for others. That sort of female entitlement should be discouraged.

    1. Ysk Prerana

      The girl in the video said ‘my guy friend’.
      We should actually count people like you out.

    2. Templetwins

      How that changes the meaning of anything I said? Is that supposed to be counter point or something? Most of her words aren’t clear to begin with. I am not going to prove my self worth by being a human shield for some entitled princess and put myself in harms way, so yes! count me out.

    3. Ysk Prerana

      Yeah, her asking for protection from a ‘guy friend’ maybe seen as killing the entire point of feminism, I understand you.
      But my problem with people like you is, you assuming that a guy friend needs to always be a boyfriend. Do you live under a rock?

    4. Templetwins

      Nitpicking much? I said her words weren’t clear to begin with, which means I misheard her words as boyfriend, but that is not even my point, besides her hypothetical guy friend could become a boyfriend in future? Why does it really matter? How is that relevant?

      Do you live under a rock?

      While we are discussing irrelevant things, do you have herpes?

    5. vaspri

      @YSK but, I thought feminism is based on gender equality. Why can’t she stand up for herself? After all, she is equally capable, but she want’s her ‘guy friend’ to protect her.

  2. Ysk Prerana

    I, rather, have issue with the message the video wants to propagate.
    Are you simply putting forward the views of the two voices onscreen, or are you validating their opinions?
    Because when she says ‘I think two men fighting it out is okay’, I don’t think it’s something we should be okay with.
    Her such views maybe a byproduct of gender stereotyping or might lead to the same.

  3. Babar

    Domestic violence against men is growing in India. In a misandrist Indian society, it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to hit a man, but if he retaliates ….

  4. Babar

    Watch videos of domestic violence against men here.

  5. Babar

    It is only violence when a man abuses a woman. Look at the video below and see the hypocritical, bigoted, two-faced society we live in today, even though more than 40% of domestic violence victims are men.

    1. Ysk Prerana

      Your statistics are of England and Wales. There is something called context.

    2. Babar

      My comments and videos talk about domestic violence against men globally. I think that is crystal clear.

  6. Babar

    The biggest perpetrators of violence against women are women themselves, be it in the from of mothers-in-law with their psychological abuse, grandmothers with their whining and taunts at the birth of a girl, sisters-in-law with their family politics, daughters-in-law with their family breaking schemes, etc. Furthermore, women hit men all the time, but men do not report it or tell anyone because it is embarrassing to do so. Violence against men at the hands of women, both physical and psychological, is highly underreported.

    Violence against men and boys is not recognized globally. On Feb 25, 2014, 59 Nigerian school boys were killed; some were shot, others had their throats slit, while the remaining were burnt alive, but there was so little international coverage it was almost as though the incident did not take place. Three months later, when Nigerian girls were kidnapped, the Obama administration, media, and feminists suddenly woke up, and there was an uproar and campaigns and what not. Violence against boys is the same as violence against girls, but those 59 innocent boys were not a subject of discussion because they were boys.

  7. just a human with no gender,no religion and no nationality

    Men and women are both bound by the stereotypical rules of society.

    How stereotype see women-
    Cooking-cum-reproductive machine, speechless, shy, motherhood, kind,gentle, emotionally weak, obedient, non-violent, always has to think about “log kya kahenga”, serve her husband, education not necessary, must not be adventurous and brave, timid, and on n on n on.

    How stereotype see men-
    ATM for his family, the voice, the head, harsh, rude, emotionally strong, must not cry, education must, must be adventurous and brave, must be courageous, bold, shameful to say that they were victims of a crime, protector of family, hyper-active, muscular, should consider women as inferior and on n on on.

    Now women must understand that it is not reserved seats that maintain equality between the 2 genders and men must understand that ur rights are for u n for others.
    We the men and women must understand each other, each other’s problems. There are no psychological or emotional differences between a male n female. Those differences were created only by our society. A baby boy n girl are born same, it is their life experiences and what people teach them that makes them different.

    Respect eachother. More than being a good man or woman, BE GOOD HUMAN BEINGS.

  8. Gaurav

    violence cannot be countered by peace. war is upon us and as foolish humans we are trying to capture each other in a moral cleft., the war will teach us the value of life so do not run away from violence, learn to embrace the reality. we are all angry, we all have suffered, let us shed blood not tears. let us embrace our prejudices and our animosities. be prepared , more is coming.

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