Looking to get some on Tinder? Just your luck that Akhil Bharatiya Hindu Mahasabha will be up all night trying to make sure you don’t get lucky. The Hindutva outfit has just declared a ‘jihad’ on the dating app that has seen increasing popularity in metro cities in the last 2 years, and is now making inroads into tier 2 cities.
The group publically warned Indian youth on social media from downloading the app, claiming that this western hook up culture is not only eroding Indian cultural values in the present young generation, but could also lead to “an estimated 2.889% drop in GDP”.
Hindu Mahasabha president Chandra Prakash Kaushik said, “The concept of dating goes against our sacred matrimonial values and Tinder is encouraging pre marital sex among young people. Moreover, we fear Muslims will lure educated young women by appearing ‘secular’”. He added that in the current economic growth of the country under the Modi regime, “#makeinindia does not mean illegitimate and Muslim children”. “We already have a population crisis and this app can spawn a whole generation of illegitimate children, who’ll come under state care. This is worse than Valentines Day and all because these English speaking liberals insist that women must have mobile phones”, he said. The outfit revealed plans on working on a more ‘sanskaari’ app called Jai Hinder, where young people can swipe right to agree to convert to Hinduism on profiles that they like and left to begin their process of deportation to Bangladesh.
But love going digital isn’t stopping them from taking extreme measures. Taking a cue from Kim Kardashian’s #BreakTheInternet, the misogyny outing @byefilepe on Instagram, and NaMo Doing Things, the party has also taken to blogging platform Tumblr, where they intend to post screenshots of conversations and moments (photo sharing) on Tinder that they deem immoral and offensive, and charge them under 66A of the Information Technology Act. Their latest Facebook post said, ‘Please join us in breaking Tinder from Internet in India. In our culture, parents decide who their kids should fall in love and sleep with. Apps like Uber and Whatsapp are already ruining the lives of young women and Tinder is as lethal for women as chowmein is for men. We urge users to delete the app and demand that the Government shut down this indecent and pornographic platform under the 66A of the IT Act, just like they did with Savita Bhabhi. If the government doesn’t pay any heed, we will take matters into our own hands and upload profiles on the app to meet men and women. Once we meet them, we will teach them a lesson they will not forget. Especially gay people will be sent to Baba Ramdev’s ashram on a premium compulsory package. Respect and protect the religion you were born in (or around), not the ideology you choose. Press ‘Like’ for Akhand Bharat and share this post if you voted for PM Modi’s female CM candidate in Delhi Elections.’
When asked if they would have any punishment for married people on the app, Kaushik said, “So long as they swipe right only for their spouses”. However, profiles with the descriptions, “Not looking for hookups or one night stands” or “Looking for a genuine relationship” will be forgiven for not knowing better and offered a 15 day free membership on shaadi.com, he said.
(Disclaimer: This is a satirical article)
About the Author: Makepeace Sitlhou is a Bangalore based freelance writer in her after hours. She has been published in Mint Lounge, Firstpost, The Sunday Guardian, Women’s Feature Service and Fair Observer. You can reach the writer on Twitter at @makeysitlhou