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An Open Letter To The Cousin Who Molested Me

By Shubham Choudhary:

Dear molester cousin,

Recently, I came to know that you have fathered a son. My heartiest congratulations to you and your family for getting a step ahead in the ladder of Life! Although, honestly speaking, it took me a few seconds to settle down with the news. You know, it was a little weird to place my abuser cousin in the position of a father. All my childhood memories, or let me just stick to encounters with you, whizzed past my mind and made it all the more difficult.

Picture Credit: Vinoth Chandar (cropped from original)
Picture Credit: Vinoth Chandar (cropped from original)

I clearly remember the first time you tried to teach me “ABC” while I was happily playing on the terrace. That was when you started undressing me and introduced “K for Kissing” as you put your tongue through my mouth to provide an extravagant explanation of the act. It still remains engraved in my mind, for that was the beginning of the nine long years of my claustrophobic physical exploration initiated by you. You taught me a new word every time you came, the meanings of which I am still looking for.

Even though your rolled back eyes still haunt me at times, yet I would like to tell you that I have forgiven you. I am not here to complain, but to request you that please do not commit the same mistakes as our parents did. We both know that the word “sexuality” is still a taboo in our society, but its ignorance only leads to life long suffering. There was no one to rescue us from this vicious circle of a victim and offender, but we can break it by being a little more conscious. I hope that you will educate your child by teaching him “penis” & “anal” along with “eyes” & “nose”, and how to differentiate between safe touch and unsafe touch so that he is capable enough to look after himself in the future. It is absolutely necessary for children to know that their private parts are not supposed to be a part of a secret game. You should also assure him that you will be his support system in case he experiences any such incidents in life. All I ask from you is to play the roles of a protector, a guide and a friend this time, because every child deserves a safe and healthy life.

– Your 22 year old cousin.

If you are a survivor, parent or guardian who wants to seek help for child sexual abuse, or know someone who might, you can dial 1098 for CHILDLINE (a 24-hour national helpline) or email them at dial1098@childlineindia.org.in. You can also call NGO Arpan on their helpline 091-98190-86444, for counselling support.

You must be to comment.
  1. Privacy Requested

    My heart goes out to you and I know exactly what u went through. I was subject to sexual assault of a different kind. Having a man twice my age jerk off on my body, several times, and being told that it was something that is very natural. Sexuality should be discussed out and loud. Good wrk.

  2. Anonymous

    It is really brave of you to write this article. I completely understand where you are coming from. It is absolutely necessary for a child to understand what is good and what is bad and what is okay and what is not. I believe even the meaning of consent should be very clear to them since the start. It will probably not be every other household story if we just all do our bit by teaching our kids what we easily can. As for the writer I am really glad you wrote this piece you don’t seem bitter and you have actually come out with a positive message in spite of whatever happened and it isn’t easy and I know it isn’t so great job.

  3. shubham

    In case anyone wants to get in touch, drop me a mail at shubham93c@gmail.com

  4. Anonymous

    I have been molested by cousins coming over to my place, my neighbours, my dad’s business employees. Not that I was a docile kid. Rather I was a bold girl since a very early age but because of the communication gap with my parents, I never talked about it. I hate all those men who did all that to me. They did stuff that I won’t even do with my husbnd. I see them enjoying life and i feel bad. For it was these bunch of men that led to me NOT trusting any guy in my life till date. I am in a relationship since five yrs n the guy is the best but I still doubt his intentions.

    It is so frustrating.

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