An Open Letter To The Cousin Who Molested Me

Posted on February 25, 2015 in Child Sexual Abuse, Gender-Based Violence, My Story, Society, Taboos

By Shubham Choudhary:

Dear molester cousin,

Recently, I came to know that you have fathered a son. My heartiest congratulations to you and your family for getting a step ahead in the ladder of Life! Although, honestly speaking, it took me a few seconds to settle down with the news. You know, it was a little weird to place my abuser cousin in the position of a father. All my childhood memories, or let me just stick to encounters with you, whizzed past my mind and made it all the more difficult.

Picture Credit: Vinoth Chandar (cropped from original)
Picture Credit: Vinoth Chandar (cropped from original)

I clearly remember the first time you tried to teach me “ABC” while I was happily playing on the terrace. That was when you started undressing me and introduced “K for Kissing” as you put your tongue through my mouth to provide an extravagant explanation of the act. It still remains engraved in my mind, for that was the beginning of the nine long years of my claustrophobic physical exploration initiated by you. You taught me a new word every time you came, the meanings of which I am still looking for.

Even though your rolled back eyes still haunt me at times, yet I would like to tell you that I have forgiven you. I am not here to complain, but to request you that please do not commit the same mistakes as our parents did. We both know that the word “sexuality” is still a taboo in our society, but its ignorance only leads to life long suffering. There was no one to rescue us from this vicious circle of a victim and offender, but we can break it by being a little more conscious. I hope that you will educate your child by teaching him “penis” & “anal” along with “eyes” & “nose”, and how to differentiate between safe touch and unsafe touch so that he is capable enough to look after himself in the future. It is absolutely necessary for children to know that their private parts are not supposed to be a part of a secret game. You should also assure him that you will be his support system in case he experiences any such incidents in life. All I ask from you is to play the roles of a protector, a guide and a friend this time, because every child deserves a safe and healthy life.

– Your 22 year old cousin.

If you are a survivor, parent or guardian who wants to seek help for child sexual abuse, or know someone who might, you can dial 1098 for CHILDLINE (a 24-hour national helpline) or email them at You can also call NGO Arpan on their helpline 091-98190-86444, for counselling support.