“I Am The Son Of A Female Porn Star, Ask Me Anything”

Posted on May 28, 2015 in Media, Sex, Taboos

By Sanskriti Pandey:

When a certain porn star Kimi Lixx’s son, offers to host his own Ask Me Anything session on Reddit, you know things are about to get strange. When you discover that Kimi Lixx has 6 children, you only gape at what you just read. Yes, who would’ve thought – porn stars may have children. Yes, their children may even tread into social media and invite seemingly unceremonious questions like, “Does he always think of it (the pornography profession) in a ‘my mother’s a whore’ context?

The discourse towards normalising the idea of pornography and its consumption is complicated and labyrinthine. In fact, it is a story of mired moralities, falsified hyperboles, feminism, and sexuality. But that aside, quite possibly, you’ve catalysed India’s rise to the 4th position in terms of traffic towards Pornhub – internet’s not-so-veiled territory! If names like Lisa Ann, Brandi Love, or of course, Sunny Leone rouse your attention, here’s an engaging train of thought to mull over:

Porn stars are real people with actual off-camera existence.

porn

Ever pondered about the life of a porno actor before or after they decided to enter the explicit world of nakedness and sex? Ever wondered how they feel about having themselves being masturbated to by millions of people? What piqued my interest was that ‘Ask Me Anything’ sessions are voluntary plunges into actual idiosyncratic experiences that are characterised by their confessional and candid nature, and so I decided to traverse through the AMAs of porn stars. Here are 7 things I found:

(The following observations don’t represent the lives of all porn stars homogeneously; they are based on isolated and individual experiences of a few.)

1. Contrary to popular belief, porn stars aren’t always forced into pornography out of financial crunch. Many may have walked into it out of sheer fancy!

Australian porn star Ryan James started working as a topless waiter before he realised that porn was turning out to be a career path he really enjoyed. Whether they are like Dani Daniels who just wanted to get paid to have safe sex, or like retired porn star Jesse Rogers who began with the simple urge to model naked, some porn actors may have only had a day, as opposed to money problems, when they just looked into their naked selves in the mirror and decided to star in porn. In fact, like one Trinity St. Clair says about dream jobs: “I’m doing it.

2. Porn stars don’t necessarily suffer creepy advances in public places; many are received well by fans and are respectfully spoken to.

Here’s a hilarious imaginary possibility – what if you spotted a person on the street and wondered out loud about where you’ve seen them before, only to realise that it was only last night? Would you stutter and spurt, or would you go all, “Hi, big fan”? Common pornography viewers seem to have respectful demeanours while greeting their clandestine fantasies walking fully embodied out in public. While they may hesitate to take autographs or get pictures taken, they are generally cordial to porn stars!

3. Porn stars don’t always have “the best” sex in personal quarters – filming porn continuously affects their sex lives in different ways.

Is there anything like too much sex? Apparently, yes. Adult star Kasey Chase actually had the positive significance of sex diminished in her life after getting into the porn business. However, she “fell in love, and the connection (she had) with this man conquered (her) insecurities.” Confirming the reverberations of the job on personal sex life, Jesse added that there may even be biological reasons for a female, considering that “girls are a little more “tender” and get sore.”

4. Some porn stars are married or have partners. Some families of porn stars may be even be supportive of their profession.

As of last year, porn actress Kelly Madison had been with her husband for 14 years, and what’s more, he was her co-worker in the porno industry! And when it comes to the family, as long as they don’t “put it in their faces”, the kinfolk of porn stars seem to be (more-or-less) on terms with the line of work. Let’s surprise you; one student’s professors and classmates from her University not only knew about her alternate profession in porn, they were also sensitive about it. In the relationship area, although some actors may harbour insecurities surrounding the debate of monogamy, they do need and cultivate real romantic relationships like most of us do.

5. Porn stars have sexual preferences that may or not match their requirements on screen.

It has got to cross your mind one time or the other – does gay porn necessitate that the performance actors are gay? Some, like Dani, may get to choose and approve of their screen partners, but the liberty is not everyone’s. When a person remarked about most women porn stars seeming bisexual in their videos, Kelly replies that not all of them are so. She says, “Some girls don’t do girl on girl at all. Some are just gay for pay.” It seems like while porn stars obviously have their own sexual predilections and orientations, it rests on personal choice and circumstance if they flout preferences or put their foot down!

6. Porn stars need to get checked for STDs and STIs regularly.

Porn stars may just be the sexually safest people out there. Or are they? “Adult performs (sic) are required to test every 14 days, sometimes even sooner depending the company…. Women and men are both extremely aware of their sexual health in my business, it’s how they live and make money so it is a first priority!” sums up Tasha Reign. But, like Kasey points out, one may contract something the day after their negative results on tests, thus rendering the testing method not so fool-proof and quite scary.

7. Some porn stars retire and pursue other aspirations, and many enjoy other hobbies like common folk do.

It may sound achingly obvious, but porn stars read books and watch movies like you and I do. When a woman rattles of the name of some 60 titles when asked what her favourite movie was, you know she knows what she’s talking about. If Kelly seems to be really into movies, Ryan is a gamer when off shooting. Kasey would be a therapist/drummer/stunt woman if not an adult performer, Dani is an artist, and Trinity once wanted to be a child life specialist in Psychology. Like you and I, you may (not) find porn stars tucked in their pajamas watching their favourite TV shows or mapping out a career!

Impersonalised accounts of the porn industry, or lack thereof, often leave no room for the normalisation of discussions around pornography and its rampant but secretive consumption. Humanisation in the talk surrounding actors in porno movies and videos may, then, facilitate a dialogue around porn and make accessible the experiences of a profession often looked down upon but ruefully taken advantage of.

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