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How To Comb To ‘Cover Up’, And Other Important Lessons I Learned About ‘Beauty’
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By P.V. Durga:
Growing up as a woman in our society, was probably the most stressful period for me because of all the attention around my physical features. Thankfully at home, my mother never made me feel conscious about my looks; it was these ‘others’ who took an unusual interest in my broad forehead, and even went on to teach me how to comb in order to cover up. And there were people who were bothered about how thin my hair was, as opposed to that of other girls. Like that was not enough, I realized that apart from having eyebrows, their thickness also mattered, courtesy of the ones who asked me if I had ever considered drawing my eyebrows to enhance them.
But there is another side to this. There were friends who wished that they had few of my features as well, because they wanted my sharp nose, brown eyes and cheekbones. Looking beautiful is just not enough, it seems. There will always be people who will dissect every feature in your face and body, and tell you how to look better. Isn’t that the reason plastic surgeons are laughing their way to the bank? The pressure to look good has percolated deep down into the minds of people. Let’s face it. These good looking people are automatically celebrated as the embodiment of all the perfect virtues in our society.
In times when television commercials about beauty products make a pimple seem like it’s the end of the world, and good hair as the basis of self-confidence, Kangana Ranaut turning down a fairness cream’s ad campaign inspired me because she was sending a clear message that beauty does not figure anywhere in finding one’s worth.
While feminists, on one hand, are fighting to help women gain acceptability the way they are, more and more women are falling prey to the idea of perfect features. But what is this perfection and flawlessness that we are running after? Is it all about the physical standards of beauty set by the western world? Also, I often hear celebrities saying in interviews that they are blessed with good hair/ skin. Does that mean that women who have the not-so-good hair are not blessed?
In all this frenzy, people have completely forgotten about the one thing that decides how an individual looks – genetics. And that was exactly why I stopped paying heed to all the attention about these flaws in me that people were constantly pointing out to. That was how I was born, and that is how I am going to remain. Beauty, for me, is a feeling which everybody is entitled to irrespective of their physical features.
I have always wondered as to why there is a hullabaloo about the looks of only a woman and not those of a man. Brides invariably end up stressing out about their beauty and weight before their wedding because of the pressure to look their best on the biggest day of their lives. Advertisements have repeatedly shown us that a woman is taken seriously at home and in the workplace only when she looks her best. Is society moving in such a direction where beauty is imperative for success in one’s personal and professional life?
Whenever I am a part of a conversation amidst women, I end up hearing gossip and criticism about someone’s beauty, or the lack of it. It is important that women feel equal to one another before fighting for equality with the opposite sex, and looks should stop coming into the picture. If we want to call ourselves feminists, beauty parlors should not be our only source of self-worth, and physical beauty should not be the yardstick for judging another person.
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B
The underlying reason why girls face body issues today is because they are told that in order to be accepted by society, they have to have the perfect body. Look at any advertisement today, from cars to curtains, and not one is complete without showing a semi-clad woman in it, and needless to say, they have nothing to do with the advertisement. It is all about projecting a perfect, toned, shaved body of a woman. And of course, when women are shown images of near-perfect bodies of models, singers, and actresses in movies, magazines, and music videos, it becomes a norm to want to attain that kind of a body. On top of that, feminists with their “it is a woman’s choice to wear what she wants” slogans are promoting miniskirts, low neck tops, short shorts, tight jeans, backless dresses, just to name a few, and this is doing nothing but creating a generation of body conscious women who are using dieting products, spending heavily on clothes, suffering from anorexia, poor self-esteem, all the while beauty, fashion, and diet industries continue to earn billions of dollars. Not to mention the billions of dollars being poured into plastic surgery, where perfectly normal, beautiful girls are being misled into thinking there is something wrong with their body. Beauty and fashion industries have benefitted from a marketing gimmick, and earned millions of dollars after bombarding girls with images of scantily dressed women in movies, music videos, TV, magazines, billboards, etc. Feminists and fashion industries dictate women with false notions of freedom which in turn oppress women by forcing them to dress a certain way to be a part of society, a society which can then freely pass judgement on the physical beauty of a woman. The only people who are targeting women are feminists as feminists need to ‘sell’ their absurd theories on freedom while beauty, fashion, and diet industries need to sell their products to control women. The very fact that miniskirts come with the labels of liberation and freedom and the burqa with tags of regression and oppression show that liberation is not wearing what one pleases, but in showing one’s body in public. Women fight with their families for their right to wear the burqa all over the world, but that is not seen as a choice. During the burqa ban in France, women risked fines and jail sentences but did not take it off. Until the early 1960s, women did not have body image issues at large, because women used to cover their bodies. Women reserved their bodies for their husbands only. Now, with feminists trying to link revealing attire with liberation, more and more women are opting for spandex pants, short shorts, tight jeans, miniskirts, skimpy tops, backless dresses, etc, and this is creating a generation of body conscious women.
D
I do appreciate the point you’re making.
But I think feminism, through it’s idea of liberation has indeed given the choice to women who wanted to dress the way they’ve wanted to.
But as you said, it is also true that it has, at the same time, created this notion of body consciousness.
G. Lantern
“Whenever I am a part of a conversation amidst women, I end up hearing gossip and criticism about someone’s beauty, or the lack of it.”
It is women themselves who initiate and propel these kinds of conversations.
“I have always wondered as to why there is a hullabaloo about the looks of only a woman and not those of a man.”
I have always wondered why there is a hullabaloo about the salary of only men and not women.
“If we want to call ourselves feminists …. physical beauty should not be the yardstick for judging another person.”
No, I do not want to call myself a feminist, and physical beauty is the last thing I use to judge someone.
“Advertisements have repeatedly shown us that a woman is taken seriously at home and in the workplace only when she looks her best.”
Everyone, regardless of gender, is under pressure to look their best, especially at work.
D
Yes. Sadly, women themselves initiate such conversations, which is why I thought I must put it out there, because beauty shouldn’t become a criteria for equality.