By Arati Nair: 

We invited you to share the best of your worst eating out experiences, here’s the answer to our call for a #foodhorrorstory.

I love adventures. When not rock climbing or scuba diving myself, I spare no efforts to cheer others on. My inner cheerleader particularly makes an appearance during those stunt reality shows like ‘Fear Factor’ and its Hindi rip-off, ‘Khatron Ke Khiladi’. My spirited calls are along the lines of “You go girl! Munch away those hairy arachnids,” or “Yo! Sleep tight in that rat tank,” or “Yeah! Take a dip in that mucus bath.”

Sadly, this adventurous persona goes into hibernation when my own palate comes into play. Experimentation with food is not really up my alley, which reminds me of this memorable incident involving TV, dinner and roaches.

There I was, enjoying some really tasty chilly chicken takeaway and watching yet another engrossing episode of ‘Fear Factor’, when I felt the tell-tale prickle of beady eyes watching me. From my plate. These eyes, dead to the world, also came attached with a glossy distended body, six hairy legs and two antennae. Sometime between throwing up and screaming bloody murder, I realized that my piping hot chilly chicken came with a side helping of roach roast.

Looking back, it seems discovering cockroach remains in your food is not really a horrifying experience limited to lazy couch potatoes like yours truly. Over the years, this ‘human-creature conflict’ on the food tray has gained much notoriety. Even as the Maggi controversy settles as a ‘leaden’ weight in our stomachs, here are a few gross cases of food-poisoning by creature contents:

1) ‘Deep Fried Rat’ In A KFC Meal

KFC is one food-joint that has mushroomed even in Tier-2 towns in India. But does the fast food culture really inspire blind faith in a multinational corporate giant? This viral video shows a fried piece of chicken in the shape of a rat served at a Californian outlet of KFC. Before we jump the gun, let’s heave a sigh that nothing has been confirmed yet, except the really gross rubbery taste! I thought they had learnt their lesson after the live worms catastrophe in Kerala. Apparently not!

KFC in fact issued an update saying that it was 100% white meat.

2) Baby Lizard In The Tomato Can

In another nauseating incident, a dead baby lizard was found in a can of tomatoes by a South Asian couple in the UK. The pregnant wife was taken ill after she abandoned her curry preparations for the day, having made this disgusting discovery. The distributor of the product, Euro Foods claims to have contacted the Italian supplier and demanded an explanation. Let’s hope the investigation is fruitful.

3) Live Larvae In Baby Food

What are these guys at Nestle playing at? So you put a bit of lead and MSG in my favourite two-minute snack. Was that not enough? Now, a taxi driver from Coimbatore claims to have found live larvae in the Nestle NAN PRO 3 milk powder he bought for feeding his twin babies. The Tamil Nadu Food Safety Wing declared the sample unsafe. DUH!

4) Cockroach Cheese Sandwich

This story sounds eerily familiar. There’s food, then there are roaches. But unlike my case, here the debate is still raging over the creature’s identity. The complainant from Ahmedabad alleges that his wife discovered a cockroach in the cheese sandwich bought from a snack outlet at the international airport, while the clueless authorities are calling it an ant. Even when a probe is underway, the airport officials reiterate that a mountain is being built of a mole hill. Apparently, ants are harmless when consumed with cheese.

5) Hot Cat In Your Biryani

We started with a rat. It’s only fair that we end with a cat. With the rising demand for meat, cats are being slaughtered and passed off as lamb chops and mutton roast in Chennai. Stolen cats have been rescued from various gypsy colonies by volunteers. Apparently, cat meat is also being served as mutton alongside biryani in small-scale restaurants in parts of the city. A crackdown is in the offing. So, next time you hear a ‘meow’ at an eatery, beware!

My personal experience with roach roast, though worth a hearty laugh, pales in comparison with these disgusting food horrors. But, you never know, maybe someone amongst you readers would have equally disturbing tales to share. Looking forward to hearing them.

Does this bring back some not-so-happy memories? Share them with us at [email protected]. The best stories will get published!