This post has been self-published on Youth Ki Awaaz by Youth Ki Awaaz. Just like them, anyone can publish on Youth Ki Awaaz.

10 Things That Parents Say To Their Daughters But Not Their Sons

More from Youth Ki Awaaz

By YKA Staff:

If you’re a girl or a woman, what’s the one thing your mother and father definitely say to you when you are stepping out of the house? If dire warnings about how ‘bad’ the world is aren’t enough, there are also suggestions that why don’t you just call your friend over to the house rather than risk going out. If freedom is the cost women have to pay for remaining safe, the unfairness of the whole thing is even worse because boys or men seldom get such warnings.

The following 10 things might be all too familiar for most women out there:

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

What is interesting is how not just parents, but even peers, sometimes repeat the same things. This is borne out of a collective apprehension towards the safety of women in public spaces where the burden falls upon women themselves to avoid situations where they might be unsafe rather than overhauling the system that perpetuates this unfairness. Unconsciously then, a bias creeps into our minds where we associate having sons as something less of a ‘headache’ than having daughters. And while no one is denying that men too perhaps face similar threats, no one will contest the fact that the situation weighs grimly in favour of women

You must be to comment.
  1. B

    I know my comment risks being deleted because I dare to call a spade a spade, but I will say it anyway. The problem in society is that women are repeatedly being told to dress like sluts because it is apparently ‘liberating’, even though girls feel uncomfortable as they keep tugging at their skirts to cover up a bit more, and pull at their tops to hide their cleavage. Society has been structured in such a way that fashion industries continue to prosper, and the feminist agenda sinks its evil teeth into society’s neck, which is why miniskirts, skimpy tops, and tight clothing must sell. Who are the targets? Girls. Of course, girls are too dumb to realize this. They are too busy trying to be men. Girls suffer from anorexia, depression, body image issues, poor self-esteem, etc because their body is not perfect, and that becomes an issue because their feminist godmother told them that they must reveal. Since the spread of feminism, teen pregnancies have risen in India, and along with it dangerous STDs. Virginity that was once prized is now being ‘sold’ by girls as they put such a low value at it. Men are women are different, but this truth is dangerous for feminism, so lies must be structured in a way where girls see themselves as the same as boys, even though they are different mentally, emotionally, biologically, anatomically, psychologically, and physically.

    1. Another B

      1)”The problem in society is that women are repeatedly being told to dress like sluts because it is apparently ‘liberating’”
      Wrong. Women are told to wear whatever they want, be it saris, bell bottoms, baggy jeans or shorts. The message that you claim feminists give is in fact highlighted in mainstream Bollywood movies and music videos of misogynist “artists”; which is one of the things feminists are against.

      2)”girls are too dumb to realize this. They are too busy trying to be men.”
      Your tendency to generalize is appalling. Plus this is a sexist stance because you are implying that living like a man is the way to live, therefore this is why females are taking on manly traits. Also you are claiming that only girls get brainwashed into being someone they are not. But same is the case of the other binary gender, society won’t allow men to cry or take interest in cooking or give a shit about raising their kids. Feminism simply doesn’t want gender roles to exist. Women should be able to work, men should be able to take on household responsibilities. They should have the best of both worlds.

      3)”Since the spread of feminism, teen pregnancies have risen in India, and along with it dangerous STDs.”
      Either source your statement or stop blaming everything on the girls. What is the timeline you mean to say this started? Do you know when feminism first began in India? Do you believe pre-marital sex did not exist before then? Pregnancies are not entirely a girl’s fault, there are two people involved in it. Why don’t you blame the guy for having sex I’m the first place? How do you know the sex was not forced by him?

      4)”Virginity that was once prized is now being ‘sold’ by girls as they put such a low value at it.”
      Virginity does not exist. It is an imaginary social construct meant to shame women for having carnal desires that men also have. You can look it up. Hymen and bleeding on the first time are not indicators of Virginity.
      5)”Men are women are different, but this truth is dangerous for feminism, so lies must be structured in a way where girls see themselves as the same as boys, even though they are different mentally, emotionally, biologically, anatomically, psychologically, and physically.”
      Again, you are generalizing like a leech. There are girls who are stronger than average boys. There are boys who are more emotional and sensitive than average girls. “biologically”, “anatomically” and “physically” mean the same thing in this context. So do “mentally”, “emotionally” and “psychologically”. You are only trying to over exaggerate. The thing is stronger than average girls should not be shunned and more emotional than average boys should not be made fun of. A guy should not dump a girl he was considering marrying because she has a better degree. A woman should not dump a guy because he doesn’t earn as much as she does. Anyone can be the way they are comfortable without society telling them what to do, as long as they are not hurting themselves or anyone else.

    2. B

      1) What on earth is ‘wear whatever you want?’ That is like saying “drive wherever you want.” It reminds me of Deepika Padukone’s video who says, “sex outside marriage, my choice.” She is promoting cheating and infidelity. Feminists who tell girls to wear whatever they want are no different. By nature, a man’s inherent quality is his masculinity and a woman’s inherent quality is her sexuality. When a woman flaunts her body in public, a man getting attracted to it is a natural and healthy reaction. The only time a woman is supposed to expose her body is in front of her husband, to arouse him. If a woman does so in public, she is a slut.

      2) Girls are easy to brainwash. It is a fact. Google ‘Torches Of Freedom’. Their emotions take over any solid reasoning, and they do what other women do. Why should a man take interest in cooking or raising kids when it is a woman’s job. Nature gave women a womb for a reason. Childbirth, breastfeeding, raising kids, cooking, are a woman’s job. Women do the work in the home. Men do the work outside the home. Women are endowed with capabilities that help them in their domain. Men are endowed with capabilities that help them in their domain.

      3) Women are the initiators and instigators of sex. Women have always been the choosers. Men have been the pursuers. Premarital sex did exist before feminism, but it was hardly heard of. Now it has shot through the roof. Feminists are working overtime to make sure that fornication and adultery becomes acceptable in society. Feminists want to act on their whims and desires at society’s cost. That is why one-night stands, affairs, transient sexual relationships, multiple partners, etc, is trying to be normalized. It is costing people in the form of STDs, AIDS, teen pregnancies, abortions, suicides, divorces, single parent families, etc.

      4) Of course, virginity exists. A woman’s attractiveness depends on her body. A man’s attractiveness depends on his success. When women become promiscuous, it affects society as a whole because women have something known as a womb, risk getting pregnant, indulge in paternity fraud, lure men using their sexuality, etc.

    3. Another B

      So the gist of your argument is that women are only supposed to be baby machines and walking vaginas. Their gender roles exist because they have a uterus, you say. However, there are women who cannot conceive. There are also women who choose not to conceive. Because, well, having kids is not necessary. You claim women are the initiators of sex, by which you mean rape as a concept doesn’t exist. You also made human trafficking and forced prostitution sound like a myth. This, unprotected sex and rape cause STDs, not consensual, protected sex. If an unmarried person, who has attained the consenting age, engaged in intercourse with another person after obtaining their consent, then what is the problem? Open relationships exist, and as long as everything’s consensual and no one gets harmed, nothing is wrong here.

      No one can define what is attractive in a man or a woman. Your stance is very superficial. Why do think Bill Gate’s daughter was drooled upon by guys from all around the world? Because of her money. Why were women attracted to Omar Borkan al-Gala (The guy who got kicked out of Saudi Arabia for being too handsome.)? Also, ever heard of compatibility? Common interests? You really need to stop generalizing so blatantly, it only works for stand up comedy.

    4. B

      Your interpretation of my comment is shocking. Rape, forced prostitution, human trafficking, turning women into baby producing machines is wrong. I am against these evils in society as much as anyone else.

    5. Roh

      My god, your brain is messed up. Here’s another perspective to things: if the world worked the way you want it to be, ever thought about what it would be like? Women enjoying their free lives at home, maids doing all the work they should be doing, spending their husband’s money on clothes, cosmetics etc., gaining weight from doing nothing. Men working their asses off for their wife and children, raped by their wives (because apparently women are always the ‘initiators’), sexual frustration and depression. Do you realise your utter failure of a gender role model?
      Grow up, B. This is the 21st century, where a woman’s life has become hella lot easier thanks to technology and medical aid. Your perspective of things would have made sense centuries and millenia ago, when household work was a tough job and childbirth was more painful and perilous. Not anymore. This is the age of equality and abolishing gender roles, in fact removing the concept of ‘male’ and ‘female’ itself.
      So either accept that and move on or go move to Saudi Arabia. Cheers.

    6. B

      Can you explain Deepika Padukone’s statement, “sex outside marriage, my choice.”

  2. B

    And there are hundreds of things that parents say to sons but not their daughters.

    1. Nikhita

      Why don’t you write an article about it and we’ll compare

  3. Jalpa Pansuria

    All things here you have listed is true, but people should aware for this things. Parents should also taught things to their son too.
    Great post YKA, Its such a wonderful post.
    Karwa Chauth Celebration Ideas

More from Youth Ki Awaaz

Similar Posts

By Saroj Kumar Pattnaik

By Javed Jaffri

By Asra Naaz

Wondering what to write about?

Here are some topics to get you started

Share your details to download the report.









We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

Share your details to download the report.









We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

An ambassador and trained facilitator under Eco Femme (a social enterprise working towards menstrual health in south India), Sanjina is also an active member of the MHM Collective- India and Menstrual Health Alliance- India. She has conducted Menstrual Health sessions in multiple government schools adopted by Rotary District 3240 as part of their WinS project in rural Bengal. She has also delivered training of trainers on SRHR, gender, sexuality and Menstruation for Tomorrow’s Foundation, Vikramshila Education Resource Society, Nirdhan trust and Micro Finance, Tollygunj Women In Need, Paint It Red in Kolkata.

Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

Saurabh has been associated with YKA as a user and has consistently been writing on the issue MHM and its intersectionality with other issues in the society. Now as an MHM Fellow with YKA, he’s launched the Right to Period campaign, which aims to ensure proper execution of MHM guidelines in Delhi’s schools.

The long-term aim of the campaign is to develop an open culture where menstruation is not treated as a taboo. The campaign also seeks to hold the schools accountable for their responsibilities as an important component in the implementation of MHM policies by making adequate sanitation infrastructure and knowledge of MHM available in school premises.

Read more about his campaign.

Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

Her campaign #MeriMarzi aims to promote menstrual health and wellness, hygiene and facilities for female sex workers in UP. She says, “Knowledge about natural body processes is a very basic human right. And for individuals whose occupation is providing sexual services, it becomes even more important.”

Meri Marzi aims to ensure sensitised, non-discriminatory health workers for the needs of female sex workers in the Suraksha Clinics under the UPSACS (Uttar Pradesh State AIDS Control Society) program by creating more dialogues and garnering public support for the cause of sex workers’ menstrual rights. The campaign will also ensure interventions with sex workers to clear misconceptions around overall hygiene management to ensure that results flow both ways.

Read more about her campaign.

MH Fellow Sabna comes with significant experience working with a range of development issues. A co-founder of Project Sakhi Saheli, which aims to combat period poverty and break menstrual taboos, Sabna has, in the past, worked on the issue of menstruation in urban slums of Delhi with women and adolescent girls. She and her team also released MenstraBook, with menstrastories and organised Menstra Tlk in the Delhi School of Social Work to create more conversations on menstruation.

With YKA MHM Fellow Vineet, Sabna launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society. As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Read more about her campaign. 

A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Find out more about the campaign here.

A native of Bhagalpur district – Bihar, Shalini Jha believes in equal rights for all genders and wants to work for a gender-equal and just society. In the past she’s had a year-long association as a community leader with Haiyya: Organise for Action’s Health Over Stigma campaign. She’s pursuing a Master’s in Literature with Ambedkar University, Delhi and as an MHM Fellow with YKA, recently launched ‘Project अल्हड़ (Alharh)’.

She says, “Bihar is ranked the lowest in India’s SDG Index 2019 for India. Hygienic and comfortable menstruation is a basic human right and sustainable development cannot be ensured if menstruators are deprived of their basic rights.” Project अल्हड़ (Alharh) aims to create a robust sensitised community in Bhagalpur to collectively spread awareness, break the taboo, debunk myths and initiate fearless conversations around menstruation. The campaign aims to reach at least 6000 adolescent girls from government and private schools in Baghalpur district in 2020.

Read more about the campaign here.

A psychologist and co-founder of a mental health NGO called Customize Cognition, Ritika forayed into the space of menstrual health and hygiene, sexual and reproductive healthcare and rights and gender equality as an MHM Fellow with YKA. She says, “The experience of working on MHM/SRHR and gender equality has been an enriching and eye-opening experience. I have learned what’s beneath the surface of the issue, be it awareness, lack of resources or disregard for trans men, who also menstruate.”

The Transmen-ses campaign aims to tackle the issue of silence and disregard for trans men’s menstruation needs, by mobilising gender sensitive health professionals and gender neutral restrooms in Lucknow.

Read more about the campaign here.

A Computer Science engineer by education, Nitisha started her career in the corporate sector, before realising she wanted to work in the development and social justice space. Since then, she has worked with Teach For India and Care India and is from the founding batch of Indian School of Development Management (ISDM), a one of its kind organisation creating leaders for the development sector through its experiential learning post graduate program.

As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

Let’s Talk Period aims to change this by

Find out more about her campaign here.

Share your details to download the report.









We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

A Gender Rights Activist working with the tribal and marginalized communities in india, Srilekha is a PhD scholar working on understanding body and sexuality among tribal girls, to fill the gaps in research around indigenous women and their stories. Srilekha has worked extensively at the grassroots level with community based organisations, through several advocacy initiatives around Gender, Mental Health, Menstrual Hygiene and Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights (SRHR) for the indigenous in Jharkhand, over the last 6 years.

Srilekha has also contributed to sustainable livelihood projects and legal aid programs for survivors of sex trafficking. She has been conducting research based programs on maternal health, mental health, gender based violence, sex and sexuality. Her interest lies in conducting workshops for young people on life skills, feminism, gender and sexuality, trauma, resilience and interpersonal relationships.

A Guwahati-based college student pursuing her Masters in Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Bidisha started the #BleedwithDignity campaign on the technology platform Change.org, demanding that the Government of Assam install
biodegradable sanitary pad vending machines in all government schools across the state. Her petition on Change.org has already gathered support from over 90000 people and continues to grow.

Bidisha was selected in Change.org’s flagship program ‘She Creates Change’ having run successful online advocacy
campaigns, which were widely recognised. Through the #BleedwithDignity campaign; she organised and celebrated World Menstrual Hygiene Day, 2019 in Guwahati, Assam by hosting a wall mural by collaborating with local organisations. The initiative was widely covered by national and local media, and the mural was later inaugurated by the event’s chief guest Commissioner of Guwahati Municipal Corporation (GMC) Debeswar Malakar, IAS.

Sign up for the Youth Ki Awaaz Prime Ministerial Brief below