I was with my parents in the car, heading to the mall, tossing my phone between my palms, slowly and slowly growing ignorant to the commotion around me, to the words my parents were speaking as they were conversing, to the cars as they were swooshing by, to everything – I was thinking.
“Have I accepted it?”
“Am I gonna do it?”
“Maybe I can change?”
“Should I just do it?”
I ceased the playful tossing of my phone, unlocked it, opened ‘Messages’ and began writing: “There’s something I want to tell you. I am gay.” Then I filled in my then-best friend’s contact as the recipient and hit ‘Send’.
The thinking didn’t stop. It never did. It would pause but never cease.
“Did I just make a mistake?”
“How will he react?”
“He’ll be accepting.”
“He’s not gonna accept it.”
“I made a mistake.”
And then the dreadful began to show its face. He called me.
To find out what happened next, head here.