By Pallavi Ghosh:
Like many others, it was right after my post-graduation that the hunt for a suitable job began for me. One thing led to another and I got my first work opportunity as a research assistant at a think tank, working on public policy, in New Delhi. It was a regular eight-hour, 9 to 5 job, the opportunity which suited me perfectly, as well as my concerned family. But there came a time, when we stayed back late because the nature of the work was such that it began only in the evening and thus, continued past midnight at times.
While the safety of their child is what made my parents anxious about the late working hours each day, an understanding boss who took it upon himself to drop us all back home if it got late, gave them some peace of mind. But not always is the conflict so easily resolved.
A secure job is one of the most integral ways of achieving independence. But the road to independence is by no means a cake walk. And when it comes to a woman stepping out for work, unlike men, stigma and stereotypes dog her every step of the way. Good intentions notwithstanding, what it reflects are the biases that exist in society in treating working men and women differently. The problem exists in the fact that these ‘advisories’ issued mostly to working women are seldom repeated to working men:
Considerations of time and location are of course not missing in the case of men, but they take a different colour. Location and time might be a matter of convenience for men, but for women the concern is about being safe. And the question of ‘safety’ boils down to women being asked to give up some choices and freedoms their male counterparts unequivocally enjoy, instead of making the environment safer for women.
Equality among sexes is not just a matter of rising sex ratios but also parity in the choices that society affords each. Although records might suggest that there has been a concomitant increase in the employment of women in some sectors, the question that needs to be raised simultaneously is how much in comparison to the increase in qualification of women. For as long as we view one-half of the population in a different light when it comes to work, true equality will never be achieved holistically.
The Game
10 things married men are expected to do and women aren’t:
1. Spend their entire life earning for women.
2. Put up with reserved seats for women on the bus.
3. Suffer from biased, draconian Indian laws.
4. Give dowry in the form of jewellery, clothes and gifts to the bride.
5. Buy flowers, chocolates, gifts on Valentine’s Day.
6. Leave their seats for women.
7. Propose.
8. Remember her birthday, make her feel special.
9. Face social stigma regarding domestic abuse from wives.
10. Face false cases of dowry.
TANVI
MAN NOT ONLY EARN FOR HIS WIFE BUT FOR HIS FAMILY…SHE GIVES HER OWN FULL LIFE TO U N UR FAMILY AS A SERVANT DO YOUR CARE BORN BABIES FOR U GIVES UR NAME …CHANGES HER NAME FOR U …FEEL UNBEARABLE PAIN FOR GIVE U CHILD ..LEAVES HER FAMILY DO YOU LEAVE UR FAMILY AFTER MARRIAGE??? U GIVING HER SEAT IS BIG SACRIFICE FROM UR SIDE BUT U R MARD U R STRONG ???
Vishal Saurav
Ridiculous things said to men but not to women:
Be economically settled in life before getting married.
Men are morally and legally bound to maintain her wife through out her life.
If you are given something in marriage from in-laws, it’s dowry which is illegal and need to be returned after divorce,while what women get anything in marriage is her ‘streedhan’ which is perfectly legal and will remain with her even after divorce.
You should not ask for dowry but revers dowry in the form of alimony and maintenance is legal right of women.
If wife is cruel husband can get only divorce that too after paying hefty amount in form of maintenance while if husband is cruel wife can go to police for criminal case or can take divorce along with alimony or both.