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Do People Even Understand The “Trauma Of Depression” Before They Judge?

By Harsha Singh:

sad-505857_960_720Desperate times require desperate measures. You know that the glass you are holding on to is half full yet you are only able to look at how empty it is. You wake up one fine morning with the sun shining, birds chirping and a good cup of coffee waiting for you but no that’s not what you see or feel. You wake up with dark circles under your eyes, refusing to get out of bed and coffee, you hate coffee. I know that’s near to impossible but yes coffee is hateable. I won’t mention the disease or condition such a person is in. I want you to understand the signs and symptoms of it. Being sympathetic won’t solve it. Writing a blog also, won’t solve it. Understanding and accepting it will do. So try and understand.

Of late, there has been much talk about a television actress hanging herself to death. Several people are after the individual who drove her to it. Some people are after what was the need to do it in the first place. Well, you see, before you cut the cord, there is a gestation period of hanging on to the cord. Both are difficult.

I can understand it because I have experienced a terribly long probation. One can hope to graduate but society and moreover your peers never let you. What makes us enrol in this kind of a place? HELLO! Fact check, you don’t. You just sink into it. It’s a black hole which you came across unknowingly and knowingly. Sometimes the cause is not important. It is important for the doctor and the counsellor but not for you. Come on; you can live with the fact that it just happened. Why be intolerant of it? Yes, humour is most often used to hide it. Now you will say that people, who seem perfectly happy, cannot be depressed. False. Fact check number 2. Refer to Robin Williams.

As I said, desperate times require desperate measures. People die or they make their bodies die because they are already dead from inside. What’s the use of living any more if you cannot live it? It’s like throwing away stale food. You might find these words disturbing but that’s the state of a depressed mind.

In a parallel dimension, you are going on with your life. You get depressed. You tell your parents. They totally understand. You tell your friends. They are equally supportive. You visit a counsellor. You talk to them. You try and get better. After some time, you meet new people. Let’s say you have a new job. You also have to move to a new city. You tell these new people and they don’t judge you at all. They don’t pass remarks behind your back. They do not gossip. They understand. You win your morale back in such a loving atmosphere. You fight. You survive.

In real life, you are going on with your life and suddenly, depression hits. You hit an all-time low as you can’t tell your parents. You tell your friends but they think it’s just one of your mood swings. Finally, when you do tell your parents after mustering up courage, they go into denial mode, claiming how can their gene be defective? In all this drama there are some days when you feel okay and some days when you feel rotten. People will say that it is just a mood swing and almost convince you of it. You get on with your life and you get a new job. You go to a new city. You meet new people and you are exposed to unfamiliar conditions. You don’t find people to fall back on and you again sink into depression. It’s multi-dimensionally convoluted. It’s not like every other disease even though it’s like every other disease. People will be pleased that you stay normal some days and in the process you will come to hate the world.

If it’s a writer, you can actually view the degree of madness. The label ‘mad genius’ was not created to glamorise an artist’s unconventionality. Creative expression and mental illness go hand in hand. The reason is that they find an unhindered outlet in the absence of others. So one day the writing would be cheerful. Then some days it will become passive aggressive and on other days it will be minus the aggression just passive to those days where it will be nothing at all. Blank sheets.

If you are crazy, you will hope that you can probably write a masterpiece like Woolf or Plath before losing the cord but while you still hang loosely to it, let’s make people understand why in the first place are we hanging on to it and not swinging like Tarzan from it. Come on fellas! Try at least!

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  1. Shashank Sharma

    And is it just the society or the family that thinks that the person is a “defected gene” ? No. The person himself/herself starts thinking that way. The feeling of being ‘different’ or ‘inferior’ to the rest of the NORMAL people out there starts to creep in. Why? Because that’s what he is made to feel. “He/she isn’t emotionally stable, how can he take care of people around him” is what he hears in hushed voices. Trust me people, people fighting depression are twice as strong as people not having to face it(and we hope one never has to face it, not because it’s something abnormal, but because it makes ur head burn like hell.)”
    And the fact is, nobody really understands it. People act like the do, but they don’t. They distance themselves and leaves the person to rot alone. Try to understand, they want you at times, and other times they want to be left alone. It is difficult for you, as friends, family, confidantes to know what to do when… But then, they can’t help it either. They will hurt you, but they want to. They will over-love you, but they want to. All they want is, for you to understand.

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Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

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As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

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Find out more about her campaign here.

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