This post has been self-published on Youth Ki Awaaz by Aishwarya S. Just like them, anyone can publish on Youth Ki Awaaz.

Why Does The Idea Of Female Masturbation Make People Cringe So Much?

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By Aishwarya S:

I shall begin with some standard advice – “love yourself”. Fair enough, right? It makes enough sense to be a cliché now. Even when Aristotle talked about friendship, he said self-love is the purest kind of love. But wait! It’s all very well to be deep, to be philosophical, to be well meaning and motivational. Let’s get a bit more crude. Have you ‘made love’ to yourself?

I just cringed typing that.

Have you masturbated? Played with yourself? Jilled-off? (Ugh.) Shlicked? (Ugh.) Played the clitar? (Okay, I actually like that one a lot.)

Did reading that make you cringe a little?

I don’t presume to know the inner thoughts of everyone who comes across this piece, what I do know, though, is that a large number of people in my vicinity still consider female masturbation to be taboo. I have talked openly about sex with my female friends, laughed about it, discussed it seriously, but when masturbating is brought up…crickets. Is that a nervous giggle I hear?! I hope so. That’s something at least.

When we have discussions surrounding male masturbation, they are incredibly common, accepted, laughed about and it even has a neat set of lingo attached to it. It’s just default. But that is not the fault. The problem is that female masturbation is rarely discussed as openly and when it is discussed, it seems to be almost embarrassing. An odd awkwardness seems to envelop the topic. Along with vehement claims of never having masturbated.

Do women just not masturbate that much? Maybe. I have not had the pleasure to check the masturbatory habits of all the women around me.

But perhaps they should.

If there’s one thing I’d want to tell every woman who claims to be personally uncomfortable with masturbating, it’d be this: “Are you sure that’s how you feel, or is that how you think you’re supposed to feel?”

Love yourself. Try it. It’s been therapeutic for me. Learn about how fantastic that body of yours is, how it can make you feel so amazing, and all you need to do is give yourself some love. As an added bonus, it has pain killing properties. I can’t remember the last time I popped a pill when I had those awful menstrual cramps.

You don’t have to be skinny with a perfect, blemish-free hairless body, to deserve absolute sexual pleasure knowing how to please yourself is also you exercising your agency. You control your body. Open yourself to the idea and let go of all shame – it’s your body and it is yours to do with what you please. And if that means not masturbating, that’s okay too. But let the reason for that come from within you, and not from outside.

Originally published on The Raging Feminists

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  1. Batman

    Masturbation is the biggest vice that has gripped society today, and to justify it, people bring their own random theories about how it is healthy. In the teenage years especially, the body needs nutrients, and boys should refrain from masturbation altogether. Anyone who has ever masturbated knows how depressed and exhausted he feels after it. The reason for exhaustion is that semen contains proteins, vitamins, iron, zinc and a list of other nutrients. Also, it takes blood to make semen so people who masturbate frequently can become anemic. You get anemia when you don’t have enough red blood cells. This makes it difficult for your blood to carry oxygen, causing unusual tiredness and other symptoms.

    According to Dr. Dio Louis, conservation of semen is “essential to the strength of body, vigor of mind, and keenness of intellect”.

    Dr. E. P. Miller affirms that voluntary or involuntary loss of seminal fluids leads to a waste of a lot of energy.

    Philosopher Nietzsche affirmed that “semen is the substance able to give life to a human being, its composition contains the largest amount of nutrients, vitamins, and essential compounds that the body uses on a daily basis.”

  2. Aishwarya S

    Hi Batman,
    Thank you for your comment. Unfortunately you seem quite misinformed. It is not true that men feel exhausted and depressed after masturbation, otherwise I’m pretty sure nearly every man you see on the streets is exhausted and depressed. Modern scientists (as opposed to Nietzsche and Dr Dio Louis) have confirmed that masturbation is healthy and natural, and the sources are numerable, all you have to do is one search. Mind you, you’re taking medical advice from a time when blood letting was considered an appropriate practice of getting rid of illnesses and the death rate was high due to lack of medical advancement. Most men who don’t masturbate for release experience night falls, isn’t that also a loss of semen? So really, you’re losing that precious man juice anyway, you might as well have fun doing it. But most importantly, this is an article about female masturbation, which you haven’t addressed at all. Technically, women usually do not ejaculate when they have an orgasm, so I suppose it is okay for women to masturbate? Or perhaps you are one of those who believe female masturbation is not a thing at all? I think you’ve very aptly named yourself Batman, because you’re in the dark about a lot of things!

  3. Batman

    The term ‘night fall’ does not exist in the English language. It is called a ‘wet dream’. They happen rarely, as opposed to masturbation which is frequent, often accompanied with porn and lustful thoughts, and it results in depression and a waste of energy. People feel bad the instance they misuse their body.

  4. Daredevil

    Emotionally, masturbation is devastating. Our bodies were meant to be used for a good purpose and to teach us important lessons so that our character would increase in strength. We were meant to be in control of our bodies, not the other way around. We become strong and confident by controlling the body. When we are single that is exactly what we are supposed to do. The most confident and successful people in the world are those who have learned self-control.

  5. Aishwarya

    Batman, if you understood what I said, how does it matter what term I used? ‘Night fall’ is used pretty commonly in India, and this website caters to a largely Indian population, so I don’t see why you have to be pedantic about it. In that case, it’s not even called a ‘wet dream’, it’s called a ‘nocturnal emission’. How is doing something so natural (something that comes organically to us, even to infants) a misuse of the body? Please provide some sources that suggest masturbation causes depression.

  6. Aishwarya

    Hi Daredevil,

    I think that masturbation is a great way of expressing control over our bodies! For example, as a veteran masturbator, I feel very much in control of my body when I masturbate, because I have not let age-old, harmful tradition dictate my sexuality and appropriate sexual practices! Instead, I have chosen to have my own agency and give myself pleasure and perfected this skill through several years of training. And you’re absolutely right, masturbation has made me much more confident, and consequently successful! I have found it very emotionally enriching, rather than devastating.

  7. Anurag

    Hi Batman
    Although I would agree on many of the points which you have stated but the given article talks about female masturbation and not male masturbation. So I agree with Aishwarya S statement that the article is on female masturbation and not male masturbation. Although, I don’t like Aishwarya S last comment which is personal in nature, but with all due regards, I think you should voice your opinions on the platform which addresses male masturbation.

  8. Mysterious

    Batman you are seriously misinformed.. If masturbation was unnatural then there won’t be people mentioning they started humping at the age of 5. Male masturbation is different from female masturbation. There are some risks in masturbation in both the genders when it is done excessive otherwise it is healthy I suggest you get updated about the info you’re talking about. Masturbation in general makes people feel happy not depressed as it leads your mind to ecstacy and it does make you feel sleepy which is why it is recommended for a female to masturbate if she can’t fall asleep lol. Your comment is mainly about male masturbation which is also BIASED.

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