By Kola Bhanu:
I am new to this platform and had some serious hesitations in sharing something so personal— something directly from my bedroom. However, I want people to think about using adult toys during sex as an intimate adventure, which should make sense to every couple who find themselves restricted with stereotyped lovemaking.
I am not a big reader, never was but I religiously follow Hollywood, ensuring to the point that I make it to the premier show of movies released with critical or popular acclaim. ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ induced a similar curiosity, my friends had already read the book and the brief insight made me realise that this wasn’t a movie to be missed. Overall, the movie was provocative with a clear sexual undertone. However, what caught my attention was how Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele were always ready to push the boundaries. Scenes in which they used intimate toys made an impression on my mind. I had this typical impression about “sexual toys”. The movie contradicted this notion. I realised I was missing something, not reading between the lines. The so-called “toys” seemed like modern gadgets or gizmos, rather sleek. The curiosity led me to explore the adult lifestyle in a new way. I had clarity in mind—I would never buy the cheap imitations that are flowing across the border, especially not for something so intimate. My boyfriend of 3 years and I had a small conversation, confessed that the initial spark in our bedroom sessions was now missing. Being honest led to our first purchase, a clitoral stimulator. Cute in shape, essentially a private massager, we were a bit uncomfortable at first. However, the first session with Muse Red [a petite massager] blew my mind. This was the type of sexual nirvana I was looking for — this device was an eye-opener, a reality-check!
Believe it or not, adult fun toys can make your love life spicier, deliver the type of tantalizing sensations you need to attain ecstasy. As my boyfriend and I explored more, it made us realise that there is an entire marketplace for such adult lifestyle goods. This is why I think every consenting adult should bring adult novelties into their bedroom:
1. Graduate to real orgasms: Many women complain about not hitting the orgasmic high through natural sex or when using conventional love-making postures. It is no secret that we fake orgasms to ensure the male ego bubble is not busted. However, when you bring intimate vibrators and massagers, the chances of hitting that orgasmic high are raised exponentially. The reason is simple —despite what some men claim, very few, perhaps a handful in the male species can claim to know exactly which areas of stimulation will help a lady to orgasm. My stimulator is like a lovemaking accessory. It helps to hit the right spots, regions that had escaped my boyfriend’s attention!
2. Takes the pressure off your partner: Anxiety is perhaps the biggest villain for a working couple. It is hard for me to define whether men or women are more susceptible to it but there is one fact, i.e. performance anxiety is a real killer. It can lead to bigger issues like erectile dysfunction. I vouch for the fact that using adult lifestyle products is safer than testing herbal or chemical concoctions in or on your body. I have friends whose partners have suffered from extreme rashes and migraines from these “magical” pills. My sex toy takes away all the psychological pressure. It is like having a faithful, quiet partner who is working on you along with your real partner!
3. Makes sexual fun more spontaneous: This might sound strange if you are not in a physical relationship but believe me, there are moments when partners don’t mutually agree for making love. The reason is simple—women and men are prone to getting stressed, mood swings or just feeling irritated sometimes. This is when using adult lifestyle products can help to bring your partner in the zone. Intimate massagers and vibrators can soothe jangled nerves and catalyze sensuality. I think of these adult toys as a means of helping my partner get in the mood with the least bit of effort!
4. Brings intimacy to long distance relationships: This is perhaps the most underrated utility of adult lifestyle products. They can create a sense of physical intimacy even when your partner is away, across oceans maybe attending a conference in another country. This might sound unthinkable but just consider this example—with the comfort of having your partner talking dirty on the phone and an intimate massager you can turn virtual lovemaking into something potent, almost real!
Life is hard and comes with a lot of psychological baggage we carry. Our daily work schedules are crazy. This often results in us neglecting our personal lives, including not venting our pent-up sexual frustrations. If we have the freedom of using something in the safety of privacy, something that is safe to use, engineered for sexual pleasure, why not try it? There is no taboo, it your personal life and the onus of making the best out of it is on you. Just close those bedroom doors and see what you can do with your new toys!