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Why ‘Freedom’ Isn’t The Same Experience For Men And Women
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By Renuka Mene:
When a writer writes, “Man is a social animal,” they mean both men and women. Likewise, “Man is intelligent”, ‘he’ made machines. The ‘he’ also refers to both men and women. ‘Man’ is the word to define mammals walking on two feet who can think. But when it comes to biology we start talking about the real ‘he’ and then we realise that there is a ‘she’. This biological realisation of a ‘she’ is fine. Even beautiful! But the manifestations of it have been bad, worse, or even traumatic.
The labelling of genders in an attempt to construct society has been a failure or may I say ‘exploitative’. What makes a society? Thought processes. From where do they come? By instilling thoughts through repetition over years. Religion, laws, and trade have primarily decided our fate. Religion told us the difference between one man and the other, laws inform us of the so-called right and wrong and trade literally decided our fate. Desires that benefit the individual, aims, innovations that run in the minds of both the genders are not cared for equally by society. They grow deep inside us. They are fuelled by knowledge and independent and creative thoughts. The hampering of this by societal roles is the greatest loss of the far more amazing human mind.
And the ‘she’ has paid the heaviest price for this societal construction. Was the ‘she’ ever asked what she wanted? Do you want to dance crazily on the streets? Want to travel? Want to innovate? Want to be this super sweet mom? Want to be a loner? By asking, I don’t mean asking what career ‘she’ wants. I mean a way of life. It could be anything. The biological differentiation took over so much that innate wishes were left unheard, unaltered, un-experimented or they never germinated. The biological segregation has led to an unequal experience of freedom.
Biology has suppressed the ‘she’ part of the term ‘Man’. So, are we supposed to conclude that biology decides the fate of all? The answer is obviously no. I feel we need to stick to that ‘no’ really strongly, by which I mean not yielding to biological, societal forms of living. Both parties have to realise that life, comfort, happiness belongs to both.
‘She’ will not put up with the rules thrown upon her. She will not sacrifice for no reason. She is not meant to deal with the gender role assigned to her. She will live ‘freely’. She will be the ‘Man’ that nature wants her to be. She will go bald if she wishes. She will be absolutely free with her sexual choices. She is free to make ‘social blunders’ etc. She will live for her passion wholeheartedly. This passion will neutralise the gender roles.
I remember the dialogue from the movie ‘Titanic’ where Rose’ mother tells her, “We are women. Our choices are not easy.” That dialogue rings a bell. Why is my choice not easy? Why behind every great man there is a woman and behind every great woman there’s is no one? With so much education imparted to our men, where is their understanding?
This ‘oh woman, it’s not easy for you’ should be turned into ‘go on..it’s all yours’. A woman’s achievements often are made to look like a crusader’s journey. But why make things so difficult for her in the first place?
The society needs to make things easier for her or else we will have both parties, men and women, walk in the same direction but without holding hands.
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B
I also remember a dialogue from The Titanic. When the ship was sinking, someone announced “women and children first.” Men were left to die and women were rescued. Why didn’t women refuse to get off the ship and ask for equality?
Spider-Man
Women have the right to keep a child if pregnant and give it up for adoption, absolving herself of financial responsibility. Men do not.
Women have the right to keep the baby even if the father did not want the baby and had taken reasonable precautions to avoid pregnancy. Men do not and will have to accept the decision of the female to govern their livelihood.
Women have the right to abort a baby for any reason. Men do not.
Women have the right to scam a man into child support if it is not his, a man has little right to fight against a fraudulent claim.
Women have the right to choose whether they wish to be drafted in war, emergency or martial law recruitment. Men do not.
Women have the right to child custody almost unanimously even if the father wants custody as well. Men are severely disadvantaged.
Women have the right to falsely accuse of domestic abuse in family court, or rape cases with virtually no chance of any legal repercussion even if it ruins the mans life.
Women have the right to hold underage statutory male rape victims accountable for child support. Men would be hard pressed not ending up in jail for sex offence in this case.
Women who commit crimes are systematically held less accountable than their male counterparts, by police and courts to the extent that there is a vast disparity in almost every possible crime. Many female rapists, pedophiles and murderers get away with their crime or get severely reduced charges because they try to justify her actions threw sympathy that men do not get.
Women have the right to talk about their gender issues without being wrongfully dubbed politically incorrect or backwards, men do not, even if they feel not addressing these issues is what is backwards.
Jaspreet Sidhu
you are right, and this is the kind of sexism and inequality that feminists are fighting for. for women to be equal to men, in privilege as well as responsibility. These kind of advantages given to women are a by product of the patriarchal system which portrays women as weak, defenceless and unable to think by themselves. Its also imperative that men’s rights should be given enough importance so as to warrant a separate discussion. They should not be held up as arguments against women’s rights. Its not men vs women. It’s human beings vs inequality.
Jigsaw
Men don’t have the freedom to sit at home and live off of someone else’s earnings, men commit suicide due to joblessness, the first question men are asked is, “kamata kitna hai”, majority of homesless in the world are men because joblessness can mean homelessness, men are forced by law to give property, alimony, child support etc to women. Don’t talk to me about freedom until you get these things fixed.
renuka
That wasnt really a situation of equality and inequality. None of the woman though wanted to leave their husband.
that was just a system followed as kids are sensitive and woman a lil vulnerable in that crisis.