By Kamal Sucharan:
I’ve encountered quite a few instances where young ones struggle so much in love. Of course, I’m not an exception – at least not for now. However I’ve learnt many things that would probably give some answers to the confusing young minds.
Humans crave for love and the urge for courtship is innate. That alone is not enough to sustain a good relationship. There are a lot of things to be learned and obviously life teaches you the hard way.
Love Happens Twice
I see a lot of my friends staying in a relationship despite not seeing any hope, fearing that they may not find ‘the one’ again. But believe me, you will. Instead of hoping the best from your resenting partner – just remember even if you elude hope and love in your life – they won’t leave you. A break up may seem like oblivion initially, but I’m sure you will find the right one. Trust life’s timing.
Insecurity Leads To Resentment
Insecurity is the result of low self-esteem. It’s not your partner’s partner, the problem is you. Treat that first and you will end up loving the right person. One may ask, what if they don’t love me, may be cheating on me, may be exploiting me, may be lying to me – if so, you simply reject them instead of obsessing over the situation that you have absolutely no control over.
Do Not Push Love To The Extreme
Anything extreme is bad for you. That is the cosmic law and never ever push your love to the extremes – like killing, teasing, obsessing, harassing, abusing and cyber stalking in the name of love. Eventually you end up inviting your own death.
Love is sensible, if you force it – nothing happens. Love has to be given freely and truly – if not, it is not love.
It’s Damn OK If Somebody Doesn’t Like You
Not everyone likes you, accept the fact and move on. If you attach your self worth to the approval of others, you end up blaming the world for your predicaments. Know your worth and don’t let anyone to curb that. It’s OK if they don’t call you, don’t want to meet you, don’t want to have dinner with you, don’t want to share anything with you. Love is mutual.
Find Pleasure In The Light Of Intimacy, Not In The Darkness Of Infidelity
Lovemaking is the most profound experience but don’t be desperate to find it in the darkness of infidelity rather explore the ecstasy in the depths of intimacy. Sex is bliss when it is devoid of doubt, fear, and insecurity. Be true to your partner and explore each other for intimate pleasures rather than obsessing over primate instincts in dark corners.
Misleading Your Partner Is Not OK
If your partner is confused of their feelings, not sure of relationship – do yourself a favour, just walk away. One cannot thrive on confusion and moreover it further leads to cynicism than contentment. You can never be happy with a partner who is not sure of having you in life. Just move on.
Just Pass The Storm, You Will Find The Shore
To reach the shore, you need to pass many storms – crushes, obsessions, one-sided relationships, break-ups etc. and it is inevitable. However, trust in the journey and do not get sucked into the storm, you may miss the shore.