For All The Times You Feel You Don’t ‘Fit In’, Here’s Something That Can Help

Posted on September 9, 2016 in Staff Picks, Story Of A Suicide

By Mansi S. Mehta:

Editor’s note: Youth Ki Awaaz joins hands with the NalandaWay Foundation, founded by Sriram Iyer, to help break the silence around mental health, failure and suicide. Through Iyer’s book, “The Story Of A Suicide”, we’ll be talking about dealing with depression, loneliness, rejection, stress and various other issues that affect many of us, today. You can read the book here.

We all want to stand out in some way or the other, but we also want to fit in – to feel that we belong somewhere, to feel that we are part of a community. Sometimes, fitting in is not so easy. Being shy and introverted or hardly containing self-confidence makes it all the more difficult.

When we know we fit somewhere, it helps us stay more relaxed, more motivated and self-assured. This not only helps us feel good about ourselves but supports us to perform better and be more willing to help others too.

Ultimately, what is important is to realise that it’s better to belong somewhere than to just ‘fit in’.

Fitting in is undoubtedly the greatest barrier to belonging. It involves assessing situations and groups of people, then twisting yourself in order to get them to let you hang out with them. Belonging, on the other hand, is something entirely different; it lets you be who you really are.

Here’s a list that might help you accept yourself and understand where you belong.

Dos

1. Start by trying to be positive because positivity induces confidence.

2. Be cheerful, happy, and smile more.

3. Find ‘your’ kind of people to hang out with. Common interests usually help understanding where you belong.

4. Work on your social skills and the ability to connect to people if you feel like.

5. It’s always about the people in your group. Help them feel comfortable too when around you.

6. Forget the so-called ‘cool’ people and just find your bunch.

7. Accept who you are. Stop waiting for others to ‘validate’ if you’re pretty or smart enough, thin or rich enough.

Don’ts

1. Don’t try too hard. That could be toll-taking. Just be casual, cool and relaxed.

2. Don’t change who you are for a group of people, even if they seem to be ‘really cool’. Be yourself, because that will make you much happier and more successful, not to mention less stressed too.

3. Don’t think that you are better than the rest and too good to fit in.

4. Don’t try to be a crowd pleaser. Instead, you may want to make ‘me first’ your mantra.

5. Don’t keep underestimating yourself. Your ideas, opinions and thoughts matter just as much.

6. Don’t keep comparing yourself with others. If you gave yourself more importance and credit, trust that you will do just fine.

7. Don’t be afraid to communicate. Take part in events you’re interested in and socialise if you want.

Understanding where you belong is not as easy as it sounds. People often fall into the zone where they let themselves feel that they are not ‘good enough’ and prevent themselves from finding friends. If you have faced such difficulties or seen someone you love go through the same, do write in about it under #StoryOfASuicide, because reading about your experiences might help someone out there, deal with a similar situation better.

This post was originally published here.

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