How A Christ University Professor With A Grudge Ruined My Spirit

Posted on September 3, 2016

By Arunchandra C:

I was going through this article which carried snippets from various blogs and some unpleasant experiences of students in Christ University, Bengaluru. Most of the incidents happened during the time when I was in the college. For us, it was another rumour or something we discussed ourselves.

In the past, I had come across various other news articles and blog posts but never made any negative remark or comments before as I didn’t want to equate my good memories that I had in the 3 years of studying BA Journalism, Psychology and English (2 years extra due to backlog) in the college with those bad and unpleasant incidents.

I had to face personal bias in college. I really hadn’t spoken about it with anyone or in any forum. I never shared it with anyone. I was busy with my own internal conflicts trying to figure things out. I wonder how I can translate what I have experienced in my 3 years of surviving in the campus, I really don’t know.

I didn’t share many commonalities with the average teen. I always asked the question after each semester whether or not I will be able survive the next semester. What about discontinuing the course? What about doing something different? I even went to the extent of thinking about killing myself due to internal mental conflicts.

You might wonder what made me take such drastic steps. It’s due to personal prejudice carried by a Psychology professor from my very first semester. She made my life hell. She found ways to make me run around, cut down my marks, she refused to sign my practical record and she possibly did everything to make my life hell in college.

I never understand the reason for her prejudice, she showed against me. I never did! I often wondered during my free time thinking numerous possible reasons: do I resemble someone she dislikes? I never got the answer. When she got married and she moved out of college, I was happy. I was relieved. It broke my confidence. It left scars deep inside me. I wasn’t the same enthusiastic guy who joined the campus.

The Psychology department was the department, I hated. If it wasn’t her. It was someone else. I never found any pleasant face who took the effort to understand me. Well! There were some who I found somehow nice to me.

Even if I had mustered the courage to snitch, where would I have taken my grievances? The Head of the Department? The management? I somehow felt helpless thinking that no one will help at all.

I was told by a well-wisher to never give up. I did just that. Or at least I tried. I dragged myself to survive 5 years due to bad evaluation. Somehow magic worked and I got my ticket to kickstart a new journey.

I haven’t till now done anything big in life. I don’t know whether I ever will. What I am doing and have been doing is what I have learned all those years in college to do – survive. Just survive in life.