‘My Skin Colour Hasn’t Changed But The Way I View Myself Certainly Has’

Posted on September 15, 2016 in My Story, Society

By Prakriti Pokhrel:

Isn’t it weird that during childhood, someone’s view affected our thinking on social ethics, religion, someone’s life or a particular thing? Yes, the same thing happened to me when I was a 13-year-old teenage girl. I was a tall girl and had a dark complexion. One knows how people see dark complexioned people in this country. People see dark complexioned people as sinful.

It is the 21st century. Yet, people’s thinking is not different from someone in the 19th century. Being from a middle-class family, during gatherings with relatives, I was at the centre of attention. Relatives used to say that she is so tall and dark at this age, just imagine how she will look when she is 24. They would say, “Shakal se aisi hai, toh sirat bhi waisi hi hogi” (If her face is like this, her character will also be similar) and laugh. It would make me feel so uncomfortable. Why does skin colour matter so much even today? During teenage years, friends and parents are meant to be with us during the period we are changing from teenagers to adults. Our physical appearance undergoes change, mind become more mature and we need someone to counsel us. Yet, I wasn’t lucky enough to get emotional and mental support from them. I used to get bullied at school, and my parents were kind of sad to have a daughter who was dark as I was their only child. Sometimes, I felt like a sinner in my family and society just because of my skin colour. I was devastated, and it used to make me hate myself. I didn’t roam with my friends as I was so afraid of the negative comments they were going to hurl at me. I became an introvert.

Later, I watched videos on Youtube, read articles and came to know it was not only me who was suffering from mental trauma because of my skin complexion. There are thousands of people who have to suffer from mental harassment for the same reason.

Now, I am a young beautiful 23-year-old girl. Yes, I am a beautiful girl. No, my skin colour hasn’t changed but the way I view myself certainly has. I am no more the girl who used to stay alone inside a room and was afraid to go out. Now, negative commentary from cheap minded people gives me strength. Every time someone tries to downgrade or discourage me, I become an even more  powerful young lady. I don’t give importance to people with such ‘chhoti’ (small) and ‘ghatiya soch’ (disgusting thought). It is my life and I am going to live it my way. During the long gap between my teenage years and adulthood, I learnt that positivity comes from oneself. How we feel love and nurture ourselves is totally up to us. We are beautiful the way we are. The ones who know what life is don’t really care care about someone’s face. The only thing which matters is someone’s character. Judging someone based on their physical appearance only brings out their own sick character.Being positive leads to a successful life. So, let’s concentrate on our goal, pursue our dream with a positive vision, attitude and by not paying attention to what people think about us. It’s the only way to shut the mouths of such cheap people and conquer the whole world.  Beautiful faces will fade away but not one’s character. Life is beautiful and so is your soul.

 Image Source: World Bank/ Flickr