By Syed Akrama:
In a big MNC, there are different teams present working for some project. Obviously, there are numerous kind of people with different behavioral traits and habits. Every Friday or some other day, HR organises ‘fun’ activities as stress busters. During the 10-12 hours of working each day, the floor is rarely quiet as someone will always be shouting either to get things done or to inquire about something. People also mingle at each other’s desk until the manager arrives to break their bonding.
When colleagues go out for snacks, some are found sitting at their desk, doing their work. When others are having lunch in groups, these people are still at their desk or probably at some silent place quietly eating something, most probably they’ll gulp their food at their desk. When the HR insists everyone to participate in activities, they pretend to look extremely busy and refuse to leave their desk. When everyone is rushing here and there, they are calmly performing their tasks and when everyone is looking at the clock ticking at 6 pm while the manager is asking them to work for two more hours, these people are packing their stuff to leave for their home. They are done with their work at time and without wasting a single second they’ll vanish from everyone’s view. They can’t wait to get out of that place and be in their comfort zones again.
Similarly, in a college or school classroom, students are shouting, singing, fighting and the noise is at its peak. Few students will be sitting quietly at a corner either reading something or listening to music at the loudest possible volume through their headphones. When everyone is roaming in groups, they are either sitting in the library or some quiet place. They prefer to stay away from meaningless conversations and merely blabbering random stuff. They hate small talk so they prefer to avoid any chance of it. As soon as school or college gets over, they disappear quickly.
They reach their place, get into the most comfortable oversized outfit they can find, switch on the TV or get a book with a plate full of food and they relax. Some of them can’t wait to get back with their partner so they reach home and spend the rest of their time doing something they’d actually enjoy. It’s hard for these people to carry on conversations with their relatives for more than a minute and answering all those questions.
The ‘normal’ people of the outer world consider them as sad, depressed, shy, lonely, awkward or simply, weirdos. It’s hard for some people to understand how someone can actually enjoy being with themselves and how they can stay silent for so long.
On the other hand, these people are not sad, shy or weird, they are not at all what they look like in front of the crowd. Their actual personality is covered with different layers which you can only understand if you interact with them for real. They enjoy all those little things which other people also do, some of them can be found singing like crazy in loud voices an some of them might be brilliant dancers, actors or artists. The point is that these people are what they want to be. They do enjoy their lives but not in front of others because they can’t connect with those who doesn’t understand them & hence they put up a wall in between. Solitude is their friend & peace is their love.
When you are enjoying with your friends during vacations, they might be on a solo trip to some place or just with their partner. When you are crazily dancing at a disco, they might be walking at a beach or sitting at a hill top surrounded by the beauty of nature. When you are taking selfies with tons of your friends, they might be clicking birds or simply the view in front of their eyes. When you are telling each and every detail of your life to anyone who pops in front of you, they might be discussing their life with the person they trust. They might turn into philosophers given a chance. When you are having your birthday party, they might be celebrating theirs by having a cup of coffee alongside a novel.
These people also do crazy stuff with their friends, they also do things which you might never guess they’d do but they don’t showcase it and they don’t put it all out for the world.
These people are known as introverts and a huge chunk of our population is introverted. Not every quiet person is introvert and not every introvert is quiet. People look at introverts with a sense of negativity which should not be the case. “Why don’t you speak much?” When introverts are asked this question (which is a lot) they mentally bang their head against the wall with a thought. “I never asked you: why are you so loud?” Some people are introverts by default while others acquire this trait as they move ahead.
Why are we so judgmental and why do we degrade those who do not fit into our criteria of being normal or cool? Why do we assume things on our own when we know nothing about the person? And why do we even think or talk about others? Being alone and being lonely are two extremely different things. We should not judge someone and we should refrain ourselves from creating our own versions of people because we don’t know them at all.
To all those silent people out there, I want to say that you are not at all weird or different from those who claim otherwise. Each and every individual is unique and so are you. It doesn’t matter if you speak too much or not, what matters is only what you feel and what you want to do. It’s okay if you have limited number of friends because you know that these friends will be with you in every situation and you can trust them completely. It’s also okay if someone doesn’t understand you because it’s not an easy task after all. You should not feel guilty saying no to things you don’t like. You should not feel sad when you turn someone down because you can’t feel the connection. It’s okay to be silent and it’s okay to love solitude, it’s okay to be introverted and it’s okay to be yourself. Be genuine, be real, be happy and keep maintaining the balance between loud and quiet in this universe.