By Divyansha Dongre:
In a world that’s already tackling various issues such as racism, rape culture, gender inequality, I’m here to shed some light a topic that may not be the talk of the town as the ones stated, but is as equally destructive and annihilative. It’s slowly destroying our society thread by thread, and to my dismay, not many people are addressing this issue. Well, not in the right manner at least.
I love scrolling through my favorite social media platforms early in the morning. Most of the time, they are filled with videos where 3- or 6-year-olds are saying or doing things that we adults only post on Facebook about or retweet about on Twitter. Really inspiring and astonishing things, I must say. From persuading their mother to ditch the divorce and give her marriage a second chance to little girls supporting and encouraging each other. Truly beautiful and heartwarming.
But sadly, when I lock my mobile phone, thinking that nothing can go wrong, because my day has begun on such a jolly note, I’m slapped with the harsh realities of life. One such being – women forgetting how much we can inspire one another.
And that’s killing me.
Instead of truly supporting each other through thick and thin, understanding one another because no one knows our plights better than we do and lighting candle’s in each another’s lives, most of us are busy doing the complete opposite.
Truth be told, women empowering each other has merely narrowed down to liking and sharing posts on Facebook, ranting about it on Twitter or blogging. So does that make people like me, writing about it a hypocrite? No, of course not. I don’t have a problem with women who raise their voices on social media platforms. But I do have a problem with women who have restricted their ‘women empowering each other’ enthusiasm to their screens only.
Being a woman, I can tell you there is nothing more soul crushing and agonizing than hearing another woman put you down. And at the same time no one can truly explain the zeal, rush of motivation and new found self-love a woman experiences when her best friend or a completely random woman motivates her and speaks high about her. It’s like walking barefoot on the morning grass – relaxing. It’s like sipping on a mug of the most aromatic and flavour-intense coffee that hits you in all the right places – energetic.
When women empower each other, the probability of miracles taking place and witnessing wonders happening right in front of your eyes are pretty darn high.
This phenomena is not that something that needs to be taught. First of all, the lack of this is any society should not exist. The fact that it does, should be an alarming signal. A signal indicating the de-evolution of the human race. Instead of forming connections between women, which is potentially the most transforming force on the planet, some of us are so busy being envious and hateful towards each other that we’re forgetting to identify the dynamic power that lies in our connections.
Ladies, when we make fun of each other or make it a point to put each other down during our discussions or conversations, It creates a wrong impression, especially in front of men, making it okay for them to talk and think the same way about women. And who can blame them? Women know each other the best, right? Isn’t that something that we’ve been taught, been told, witnessed ourselves to some extent?
How do you expect us to win this battle against gender inequality when we ourselves have created this biased and totally ridiculous hierarchy amongst ourselves? We need more of ‘You look beautiful. I love your contour’ rather than ‘She’s not beautiful, she wears way too much makeup’ More of ‘She’s a housewife’ and less of ‘She’s JUST a housewife’. We need to craft a world where all you can hear is ‘You can do it!’ ‘I stand by you’ and ‘Slay girl! Slay!’ and not, ‘She doesn’t deserve this’, ‘She’s meh’, or ‘She got or achieved this because of her boyfriend or husband’.
Like honestly, I’m at a loss of words, and unable to process and portray any emotions when a woman equates another woman’s success to how influential her boyfriend or husband is in the industry, rather than appreciating her own hard work, dedication and talent. And solely because of one stupid, stupid emotion – jealousy. In this world, nothing is easy. Everyone’s pace is different in reaching their goals. Relax! Thank god for everything you have. Never look down on the next person.
To some extent, I blame the society that we live in for this. We are constantly being taught to see other women as a competition rather than people who need you and can make your life better. Take beauty pageants for an example, from “Miss Universe” to reality television shows like “Toddlers and Tiaras”, where little girls as young as 1 compete with other girls for a title that tends to lean more towards the category of ‘Who is the prettiest’. So ridiculous.
We need more TV shows and movies that show two women building each other up, rather than a storyline that revolves around two girls competing and tearing down each other to get a man. We need to tell stories that bring out the dynamic and earth-shattering power that is generated when women encourage, support, uplift and celebrate each other.
Today, I challenge you.
No, this is not some absurd black and white challenge. This one might be a little more difficult and tricky than scrolling through your filters and selecting Moon, Willow or Inkwell on Instagram.
Ladies, I challenge you to ditch your jealousy and crumble your envy like a cookie. I challenge you to see the good in every women that is a part of your life. I challenge you to revive each other. I challenge you to empower each other. I challenge you to champion each other. Support her, even if you don’t support her situation.
Astonishing things can happen when women support each other.
Don’t be the kind of woman who’ll go and copy-paste this on social media. Be the kind of woman who’ll practise what she preaches.