How I Realised Later In Life That I Was Sexually Abused

Posted by Fizza Naqvi
December 20, 2016

Self-Published

TRIGGER WARNING:

I never thought I would ever be able to share my story with anyone because of many reasons: Firstly, it was just a glimpse of what others have encountered in their lives so I considered it a minor incident and decided to forget it. Secondly, I never considered myself brave enough to share such an experience with people because of the fear of rejection as I had this preconceived notion that they would deem me a moving ball of filth and being a person whose life centres around the opinions of people, it mattered a lot to me so I remained silent. Today, after reading a plethora of stories of victims of sexual abuse, I found a voice that empowered me to share something that I’d buried deep inside my heart long ago.

Since my mom was a working woman so she used to send me to take tuition classes from one of the teachers who, according to her, was the most suitable person to teach me and handle my tantrums. In her house, there was a man, her sister’s husband who had children of his own; me and my brother used to pronounce him uncle and he was kind to us. He used to write poetry and since I had much interest in poetry so once I asked him to let me read his poetry and when I kneeled down to take a journal from his hand, he touched my breasts and for a minute, I went speechless, I didn’t expect that he would turn out to be that creepy but he proved me wrong. When I went back home, I saw my Math teacher sitting in the room to teach me, I was so horrified at that time that I didn’t even trust him though he was the best teacher, and asked my sister to sit next to me during his teaching class as I had already told my sister and mom about this incident. What really ripped my heart apart was the fact that years later, my own sister helped that man by giving him a seat in the van as we were going to attend the Muharram procession and because of that man, I couldn’t go. No, I’m not going to forgive this man as he made me scared of every man and I couldn’t sleep for many nights. He was bad and I can never call him a person who just succumbed to his sexual desires. He is bad, he is.

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