I was breaking up with my boyfriend and moving to a new city, where I had to settle down and adjust. I was happy, sad and excited all at the same time for my new beginning. The day I reached the new city, I felt a pain in my stomach, a pain which did not feel like menstrual cramps and a burning sensation in my breast. I thought that it might be because I had three i-pills in two weeks which was causing hormonal imbalance and aching.
When I woke up the next morning, I saw a peculiar liquid discharge from my vagina and I couldn’t move. I was in so much pain. I called my ex-boyfriend out of anxiety and told him everything. He asked me to visit a nearby doctor as soon as possible, and so I went to a local doctor who prescribed a pregnancy test and asked me to come back to her the next day. I called my ex to tell him that the doctor had told me I might be pregnant. He freaked out. Then he told me that he was going to meet the girl he was getting married to. That broke me and I attempted to choke myself. He was from a different religion and a bit older than me. I felt that I didn’t deserve this.
The next day was life-changing. The test results were positive. Yes, I was pregnant. I had to undergo a medical termination. It was painful. I started off with swallowing those tablets which led to heavy bleeding. The most frightening thing was that there was no one for me then except for my ex, via phone. I started hating myself and attempted to end my life a couple of times, but I couldn’t. Abortion is difficult in India, you are judged at every step. The body pain, heavy bleeding and the psychological pain overpowered me. I felt nauseous all day and ate nothing.
Four months after my abortion, I have a swollen breast.
I am leading a normal life now and very few friends of mine know that I had an abortion. I don’t talk much with my ex any more but one thing I have understood about myself is that I am stronger than I ever thought I would be. I am stronger and a better person now.