One of my male friends asked me one day, “Yaar, all your write-ups are very women-centric. Why are you so obsessed and speak of, and about women whenever you write? Why don’t you write about men too?” I just smiled back.
Some of them frowned and asked with aversion if I were a feminist. I laughed and said that I didn’t know.
Some taunted too, in a very witty way. They said, “I would never want you as my girlfriend.” “God, you’re an activist, how can one survive with a feminist like you?”
“You don’t need to. I am better off single,” I answered back.
Some shouted and some yelled…Why you become too outrageous whenever someone delivers even a sexist comment in front of you?? Hold your nerves and stop flaunting your activism everywhere.
I kept mum, listening everything.
The majority asked with revulsion, “Holy Christ! When did you become a feminist?” “Even I don’t know,” I said with a smile.
Some complained some chose to break relationships and some hurled abuses. With easy passing day, I was losing my friends, especially the male ones. Everywhere I was identified as a bloody feminist!
The feminist tag was agitating me. The word kept continuously repeating in my ears like obloquy. I was feeling the pinch disguised behind the word.
It wasn’t that I had no better answers for their questions. I had a lot to say, enough things to answer. There were many instances, explanations and many more questions to encounter. But one thing even I couldn’t understand was- Why this particular term- Feminist, was being used for me and even for all of them who dares to speak for women.
Being an women when you stand in support for a women in a patriarchal society like we live in, then from that particular time only people starts making fun of you. They classify you as ‘Feminist’, not to show respect but to make you feel embarrass, to make you feel ashamed of your work. Hell! have nothing to do, no goals, Always shouting for equality, useless demands, throwing craps, baseless arguments, obssession,crying, outraging, protesting, hatred… these feminists are just too much!
And it doesn’t even stops here…..Feminist she is? Must have slept with five/ six boys, must be a divorcee, Who’ ll marry her?, deviated from her career, wasting parents money, polluting our culture and bla bla bla….!
Is’ nt seems a nightmare ? A few months back everything remains quite normal, didn’t have the sexist, feminist, rightist, leftist tags hovering around . But now suddenly everything got changed. Instead of praises, I was getting all kind of abuses . I had no idea what was my fault. All of I did before was myself , I asked to myself
And kept on asking…….
Supporting my cousin when she wanted to free herself from a forced marriage, was wrong. And even raising voice against my relatives asking for dowry too.