Why You Shouldn’t Stop Fighting For What You Think Is Wrong

Posted by Prerna Sharma
January 4, 2017

Self-Published

One of my male friends asked me one day, “Yaar, all your write-ups are very women-centric. Why are you so obsessed and speak of, and about women whenever you write? Why don’t you write about men too?” I just smiled back.

Some of them frowned and asked with aversion if I were a feminist. I laughed and said that I didn’t know.

Some taunted too, in a very witty way. They said, “I would never want you as my girlfriend.” “God, you’re an activist, how can one survive with a feminist like you?” 

“You don’t need to. I am better off single,” I answered back.

Some shouted and some yelled…Why you become too outrageous whenever someone delivers even a sexist comment in front of you?? Hold your nerves and stop flaunting your activism everywhere.

I kept mum, listening everything.

The majority asked with revulsion, “Holy Christ! When did you become a feminist?” “Even I don’t know,” I said with a smile.

Some complained some chose to break relationships and some hurled abuses. With easy passing day, I was losing my friends, especially the male ones. Everywhere I was identified as a bloody feminist!

The feminist tag was agitating me. The word kept continuously repeating in my ears like obloquy. I was feeling the pinch disguised behind the word.

It wasn’t that I had no better answers for their questions. I had a lot to say, enough things to answer. There were many instances, explanations and many more questions to encounter. But one thing even I couldn’t understand was- Why this particular term- Feminist, was being used for me and even for all of them who dares to speak for women.

Being an women when you stand in support for a women in a patriarchal society like we live in, then from that particular time only people starts making fun of you. They classify you as ‘Feminist’, not to show respect but to make you feel embarrass, to make you feel ashamed of your work. Hell! have nothing to do, no goals, Always shouting for equality, useless demands, throwing craps, baseless arguments, obssession,crying, outraging, protesting, hatred… these feminists are just too much!

And it doesn’t even stops here…..Feminist she is? Must have slept with five/ six boys, must be a divorcee, Who’ ll marry her?, deviated from her career, wasting parents money, polluting our culture and bla bla bla….!

Is’ nt  seems a nightmare ? A few months back everything remains quite normal, didn’t have the sexist, feminist, rightist, leftist tags hovering around . But now suddenly everything got changed. Instead of praises, I  was getting all kind of abuses . I had no idea what was my fault. All of I did before was myself , I asked to myself

And kept on asking…….

 Supporting my cousin when she wanted to free herself from a forced marriage, was wrong. And even raising voice against my relatives asking for dowry too.

  • Asking for the re-marriage of my widow aunt in front of her in- laws was wrong. And  even protesting against my father for betraying my mom too.
  • Crying for my cousin sister who was not allowed to study further was wrong .
  • And even questioning my mom for not reacting over this decision of his brother too.
  • The pen and book which i gifted to my domestic help’s daughter was wrong.And even my step to teach her free of cost too.
  • My demand for an explanation from my parents  planning to marry me earlier than my older brother was wrong.And even my decision to marry a boy of my choice too.

 

  • The day I asked why women fear of moving in dark-empty roads, of getting raped, abused and attacked while men don’t ,was wrong.And even the day I expressed my chaos on why women only have to leave her house at the time of marriage, not men ,too.
  • The question I asked ,Why only women have to  live a colourless life after getting widow, not men was wrong.
  • And even the question  Why only the modesty of a women gets in danger when a rape incident or MMS scandal takes place, not of men.
  • Yes,every question you asked was wrong, every explanation you demanded was wrong. Your courage, your boldness, your movements ,your actions,reactions, writings, speakings everything was wrong. What if you suffered the most being a women and wants to do something better for them? You have no right to  speak and fight for yourself and for themselves who couldn’t.  If you dare to, have  a different ideology or opinion they would break you, torture you, abuse you, starts terming you as a feminist, leftist, rightist, nationalist or even anti- nationalist.
  • Just because you dared to protest,dared to speak. Today if, these abuses are frightening you, discouraging you ,stopping you from writing and speaking then before surrendering think of those women who couldn’t stand for their rights. For whom you were only the light of hope. Think of those little birds who were willing to fly high but needed your words of encouragement.
  • Let them shit.
  • Let them be the hurdle of your path. It is them who are at fault not you. Let them stop you by throwing these tantrums.You don’t need to stop because this is what they wanted. They wanted to suppress your voice but you keep on flaunting your so called “Feminism”, (as they term it). This is how you can show them that what we are!

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