Hi! My name is Bonita. I’m 18 years old. I love beautiful people and spreading love. Biologically I was born/am male. But I identify as a Heterosexual Transgender Woman.
I’ve been facing a lot of problems from the beginning: fighting with my sexuality, accepting and then loving myself, and all the bullying and hatred of people towards me. Seeing a bunch of boys or girls gossiping and laughing at me is quite normal but always scary for me. And I literally have to think thousands of times before going out in public. It’s hard to shake off that constant sense of being scrutinised, of being punished for being myself.
But these are 5 things that kept me going and helped me come out of that proverbial ‘closet’:
I have four incredibly and consistently supportive sisters that I feel so much blessed with. They provided me unconditional love and helped me to be my genuine self. They always protected me whenever I was scared and expressed their love which will be the same no matter who I identify with, and will always stay besides me whatever circumstances come.
The internet is the most essential resource where I could go and understand my feelings and emerging sexuality. I came to know a lot of people whose story was similar to mine or were suffering from the same problem, which gave me strength to not give up.
Dazed magazine is a very influential independent magazine about music, radical fashion, films, art, and youth culture which includes queer people in such a beautiful way that it always makes me feel special and proud. The best thing about this magazine is that it is not specially for queer people, but for the whole generation which does not ignore LGBT+ people.
These are the women that I can really idolise, as people or as models. I feels so proud to see them represented as normal and beautiful in the glossy format or fashion films. They always inspire me to live in the truth. They represented a way for me that just allowed me to find my own authenticity, and it’s a huge comfort.
Featured image courtesy of Shraeyansh Rajpurohit.