Third day of college, 22nd July 2016.
A typical working day meant that I would come across hordes of people on the railway station. Every time, the thought of the crowd sent a shiver down my spine. To feel overwhelmed with nervousness was pretty much a part of my existence since I have seldom travelled by train. A distant sound broke the flow of thoughts that had flooded my mind, bringing it to my senses that it was the train that was chhoo-chhooing seemingly approaching me.
My friend had a class at the college at a different timing, thus mom had accompanied me that day. Like every regular mum, she wanted me to reach safely rather than reach on time. Thus, she signalled me to back off and I could fathom that a sense of foreboding was gradually filling her heart. I managed to suppress my anxiety and got onto the heavily crowded train, barely able to see mummy’s face. I turned around and to quieten her pulses, forced a smile and mouthed goodbye to her.
When she saw her petite child literally hanging out of the train, tears dribbled down her eyes. I could read her mind. She had been feeling a pang of guilt for letting me travel amidst the throng. The train picked a good pace and I began to realise that I was standing on my heels since the train was bereft of space. Besides, I had to cling onto the steel rod with all the strength I possessed. I knew that if I’d lose my balance at any point of time, I wouldn’t injure myself, I’d lose my life.
I can’t express my emotions in words. The previous week had been a real tragedy to me. I’d learned about people dying, either by an illness or by taking their own lives. All those dark stories were flashing through my mind. I started thinking of the final message I’d send my dear ones, now that I was on the verge of losing my life. I started imagining how Sidney Sheldon would describe my body when I would die. However, I had one good reason to be happy: I’d be one big story for the media. Well yes, I might seem to have exaggerated a little too much, since I am a person who over
Well yes, I might seem to have exaggerated a little too much, since I am a person who over analyzes situations and jumps to conclusions easily. But not this time. This time, the scenario was such that the most happy-go-lucky individual too would think of what I had been thinking. At one particular station (I was in no position to be able to view its name), several ladies bumped into me. They began tut-tutting about me being nearly out of the train and holding onto the rod since they felt I was blocking the way for them. Non-stop rants were hurled out on me.
Now, I’m someone who’s always possessive about everyone under the sun but myself. I knew they were having trouble getting into the train but so was I. If I were given a chance to let them get in before me, I wouldn’t lose it. But at that point of time, I couldn’t find one. I preferred not to argue since I had just experienced how hurtful words are no less than a dagger. My heart began thudding faster and faster, and I was now in tears. I didn’t sob deliberately, it was because of the dreadful fear that had set in me.
Yet again, too many people watched me but didn’t utter a word. I felt hopeless until a lady, wearing a cross approached me saying, “My dear, the Lord will protect you.” At the drop of a hat, my fright vanished and at the same time, I had learned that this wall of religion between us had to be broken. All of us belong to the religion of humanity, and we’d all be the favourite children of God even if we practised no religion other than it. Another lesson that will now be remembered by me throughout my life is that CHANGE IS INEVITABLE. I’m proud that at the minimum, I had the audacity to step out of my little shell and experience the hardships every common man goes through every single day.