I’m really not kidding when I say ‘I do not WANT kids’, not now, not ever! Everyone has a brain but many people choose not to use it.
In a similar manner, all women possess a uterus but many of us ‘choose’ not to ‘use’ it. How difficult is that to comprehend? It is just a matter of personal choice.
I know you see these kind of blogs quite often on the internet these days and I might reiterate some of the points because people are so hard of understanding that you need to tell them the same thing over and over again and they still wont get it.
Okay so some kids are adorable and most of them are not. The few that actually make it to the adorable list are the ones you are biased towards.
For everyone, there is one such kid or maybe a few kids. It’s your own child/children, your niece, nephew, or your godson/goddaughter. I too have one such kid in my life and she’s a precious little thing whom I love to bits but at the same time she inspires me every single day of my life to ‘not’ have children of my own.
I have seen her for literally every day since she was born 3 years ago and there hasn’t been a day when I’ve either thought to myself or spoken it aloud that I do not want kids ever. The reasons are obvious:
- I’m already fat enough. Trust me, I have a hard time trying to look ‘thin’, deleting pictures that reveal the ‘layers’, cribbing about life being unfair when I have to stop myself from eating those chocolates whereas my skinny friends can hog and hog and still fit into a XS sized dress. So why on earth would I do this to myself?
- I’m such a lazy person and I love myself more than I love anyone else. Yes, it’s true. Okay so once I got so addicted to this game called ‘Diner Dash’ where you have this virtual eatery and have to serve customers under a time limit and stuff like that. My husband often laughed about it that I’m always eager to feed ‘virtual’ people but when it comes to making dinner for him, I’m always making excuses! That’s the way I am! I cannot take up such a huge responsibility of bringing a baby into this world and raising it. In fact if I did it, in spite of knowing my own shortcomings, that would be very ‘selfish’!
- I love to travel. And I love luxury travel, traveling on a budget just doesn’t work for me. And of course no matter how much we’d like it to be, travel isn’t free of cost and you need a lot of money. And since we aren’t the Ambanis, Birlas, or the Tatas, we have to prioritize because we can’t afford both! So I would rather see a different country every year instead of visiting ‘Mom & me’ stores. I would rather blow up 50,000 on a fancy hotel overnight than pay the kid’s monthly school fees. But you know what, if someday I can afford to do both (the kid and the luxury travel), I’ll go stay in an even fancier hotel!
- I love doing ‘nothing’, I have mastered the art of doing ‘nothing’ and with a kid it means always having ‘something’ to do and I can’t cope up with that. I find full-on reality exhausting because at a certain point every now and then, I kind of hit a wall and think: that’s enough life for one day, now, thanks. I wake up at 11 am, laze around all day long, go for a one hour yoga class five days a week (which I manage to miss at least twice because I have a whole list of excuses), laze about some more, watch Koffee with Karan under the covers because dear husband needs his sleep, and finally doze off at 3 am! Now who would give up this life?
- Other things that scare me are: what if it’s a boy? I want a girl! What if the baby isn’t cute enough? What if we suddenly become poor and my dear little miniature self has to wear Big Bazar clothes?
Due to an excellent arrangement I have with my husband, we are both in denial about me being an adult. And my poor husband isn’t capable of handling two kids!
I just can’t bear the thought of a little version of me bossing him around; that right solely belongs to me.
Luckily, for me, my husband and I are on the same page. Neither one of us wants babies. We’d rather give up sex! But there are many couples out there where the husband may want a baby but the wife isn’t interested.
Please take this matter seriously and discuss such things when you’re looking for a life partner, forget the ‘kundalis’ and match your thoughts & opinions instead.
Personally, I feel the woman should have more say in the matter, but if the man really wants a baby, it’s for the couple to figure out.
I do not mean to offend anyone with babies or those who like and would want to have babies, like I said it’s totally a matter of ‘choice’, which should be respected. So the next time anyone annoys you with the ‘when do you plan to…’ question, just say ‘oh you mean my next vacation? Soon, very soon indeed!’