Let’s “Talk” About It, Shall We?

Posted by Nidhi Raman Pingala
January 5, 2017

Self-Published

I saw videos of the Bengaluru incident, both the one on new years eve and the one that happened last night..

It scares me that this could happen to ANYONE. It might as well be me tomorrow.
But who am I kidding ?
I have already been at the receiving end of it. So many times. And so has every other woman I know.

Facebook’s most trending hashtag after this incident is “#NotAllMen“.

Yep, I know. Obviously, NOT ALL MEN.

But sadly, EVERY WOMAN has been harassed, in some form or the other. Which woman can actually claim that she has never been harassed, touched, groped, ogled at or been made to feel uncomfortable in the presence of a man? Every thing doesn’t come up as CCTV footages and create an uproar of this scale, but sadly this is a reality that we have learnt to live with.

We know that “not all men”. But why is it becoming so hard for all of us to accept responsibility? This is not #BengaluruShame as I’ve seen everywhere on facebook . This is bloody NATIONAL SHAME.

After watching that CCTV footage, every female friend/sister/acquaintance I have spoken to about this is shaken to the very core. Today I actually discussed with a friend about keeping pepper spray and pocket knives in our bags from now.
This is what saddens me. The knowledge that I am so vulnerable, no matter where I am, what I am doing. Worse still, it will always be my fault. If not my dressing , it will be my life choices, or the time of the night (or day, because who cares? “Boys will be boys”, right?).

I don’t believe the mentality of the people.. The people who have the audacity to do all this, the people who watch all this happening right in front of them and don’t do anything about it.. the politicians who give shitty statements saying it’s the victim’s fault.. WHERE ARE WE HEADING? HOW CAN YOUR BLOOD NOT BOIL AT SUCH INCIDENTS?

Why do boys in our country feel so entitled? What makes them think it is OKAY to do such filthy acts ? Why is a girl nothing more than public property? What is it about the word “CONSENT” that makes it so hard to understand ?

I beg of you.. PLEASE.. PLEAAASSEE .. TALK TO YOUR SONS. TALK TO YOUR BROTHERS, YOUR MALE FRIENDS, YOUR MALE COLLEAGUES, EVERY BODY !

Tell them, it is NOT okay. Tell them how it makes you feel. Tell them how unsafe you are. Only dialogue can help.
Tell them the daily struggles you face so that they know how it affects us and it might hit their conscience before doing it to someone else or while silently watching a lady go through it.
If you have a little boy at home, right from his childhood please instill in his mind that every person’s modesty is to be respected, whether it is a man or a woman.
PLEASE TALK ABOUT IT AT HOME/ SCHOOL/ COLLEGE/ OFFICE. DON’T SHY AWAY FROM DISCUSSING THIS.

Dialogue is the only weapon we have, because apparently nothing else is working.

 

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