The Complexity Of Being Dusky, As I See It!

Posted by Ekta Shah in Society
January 22, 2017

No denying the fact that it’s all God’s creation. It has been carved so impeccably by God! Whenever we look around we realise how beautifully God has created us and how everyone is different. We can’t really make it better than that. Can we? We can’t. There is not even a leaf similar to another one anywhere all over the world.

Well, there is nothing new about these accepted lines but again and again we humans have redefined it in our own ways. The parameters have changed so drastically for us to witness any beauty around.

And for many, fair is still beautiful!

Who can better tell these lines than someone who herself is dusky? It might be politically incorrect to speak on those whose shoes you are not wearing! Yes, I am a dusky woman and no matter what others think of me, I am very satisfied with the way I look. I don’t need to clarify anything to anyone. But I do see many mocking the dark skin colour. Even if not mine, the colour of others who are dark-skinned. Sometimes it gives you a feeling that your skin colour will ultimately decide the destiny of your life.

If I really need to remember the torture of being dusky, then surely I can write a book. Whenever a girl is born with a dusky skin it’s more of a burden for a family or I would say nothing less than a crime. From the day one when you learn to sense your surroundings till the never-ending sagas of criticism. In school, college and every possible way you will get free advise. “You have nice features but it would be better if you would be little fairer.” I don’t understand how can someone really pass this venom on others without any common sense? Does beauty lie only in skin colour? Is being fair above everything around?

What about your inner beauty? What about your virtue, your attitude and your skills? The bonding which you make with others? Your smartness to understand others, your intelligence, your awards, your education and accolades?

People keep on giving surprise shocks by their illogical, senseless theories of being dusky or being fair. My children are fair and I was shocked when someone asked me, “Would you love them the same way if they would be dusky?” And honestly, the moment I heard this, a chill ran through my spine and a temper which I couldn’t control.

For a mother, love is the most important thing and nothing else matters. A mother and a child’s relationship has no boundaries to prove anything to anyone. Discrimination is nowhere in her dictionary, in relation to skin colour or any other reason. I learned in these years how to debunk such self-made theories but I think this thinking has to change on a larger scale.

I am not against fair skin or extra passionate people who are dusky. But should it be a parameter to judge someone? How can a skin colour make you superior? Why is it seen by someone as if it’s a crime?

Why can a dusky girl never think of marrying a fair guy or vice versa? How does it matter? When is it  seen that an extremely fair girl can easily match up well with a dusky or dark skin coloured guy? Why should a dusky girl avoid bright colours to wear? And why does no one see her as beautiful?

When we talk about equality and being human then why we are still trapped in these self-made declarations? Where is it written that dusky girls are insufficient and can never look beautiful?

Why do people hesitate to marry these dusky women? Why can’t a fair guy think twice and go ahead? Why is there a mindset that it happens only in love marriages?

I have no guilt of being a dusky woman who is married to a very fair guy. For me, there is nothing wrong being dusky or being fair. It’s all about inner beauty. This is what defines you at the end.

It would be sceptical to say that I never got any scrutiny based on my skin colour. That no one advised me to apply those unlimited fair and lovely cremes. No one told me to not play in the sun or use natural besan or haldi. To not wear such bright colours as it doesn’t suit me. I don’t know what happiness one can get by playing this dirty game which is biased against your skin!

The list is endless. Doesn’t matter how much you want to make them quiet, you will get another set of people with a similar mindset. The only thing is just to speak out and make them understand to think a little better!

It’s easy to point out to others and judge just because they are dusky and don’t meet their fake beauty standards. It’s just a filth in their mind and they really need a renovation.

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Image source: World Bank Photo Collection/ Flickr

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