Though everyone wants a happy life, very few have it. Is this because of the reason that some people are lucky and some are not? I don’t think so.
“What does happiness mean and how to find it?” Answers to these questions differ from person to person. There is no common definition for happiness. For suppose; you may feel happy if you visit new places, and some other person may feel it when he dances or sings a song.
Finding happiness is not that much difficult as swimming an ocean at a stretch. And, there are some possible ways to feel it to enjoy the beauty of living.
To be happy, getting rid of sadness in adverse conditions is needed. If we know the causes of sadness, we can practice healthy habits to overcome it to find true happiness in life.
One may feel sad because of many reasons. But one common standpoint for all those reasons is, not accepting the situation when it is adverse. For suppose, if we go through some adverse situation, many of us start blaming the fate or worrying about the situation and a few accept it in the way it is. Acceptance doesn’t mean to forget the situation. First of all, accept the situation in the way it is, because changing the past is not possible. Accepting the situation reduces the level of tension so that a best possible solution can be thought of, where there is a chance to change the situation. In cases where there is no chance to change it, acceptance will help in maintaining inner peace.
Accepting a situation is not so easy in all the cases. For example, acceptance in case of losing a mobile phone is different from that of a mother losing her child. In the second instance, it is very difficult to accept, but not impossible. And, there is a practical way called “Auto suggestion” which helps our mind in accepting almost all situations.
Psychologically, our mind is divided into two, one is conscious mind and the other one is sub-conscious mind. Conscious mind controls our actions and sub-conscious mind controls our habits and emotions. A conscious effort in a continuous manner gets registered in sub-conscious mind. For example, while learning a car, we do use conscious efforts at the beginning of looking at the gear rod while changing gear or looking at brakes while applying. But, once after making continuous efforts, we just see the roads and rest of the things we do unconsciously, i.e. without seeing at gear rod or brakes each and every time. This happens because that continuous effort got registered in sub-conscious mind. Now, coming to the auto-suggestion, it is nothing but repeating a positive affirmation continuously till it registers in our sub-conscious mind. For example, in case of our example of losing a child; if the mother consistently thinks of getting normal again by thinking about her current life and her family well-being, she can accept the situation much faster when compared to the normal case.
There are some points that are to be kept in mind while making an auto-suggestion. An auto-suggestion should always be a positive affirmation. Why make a positive affirmation? The reason is very simple, if I say “Don’t think about devil”, the immediate image that comes to your mind is of the devil, isn’t it? Instead, if I say “Think about God”, you will get an image of God. In both cases, we are getting an image of the subject matter, because our sub-conscious mind can’t differentiate between positive and negative. Next one is; an auto-suggestion should have a goal to accomplish. Because we have to continuously think of accomplishment of our future goal while repeating affirmations. Finally, there should be a regular conscious effort without giving up. And, the best time for making auto suggestions is early in the morning immediately after waking up and just before sleep. Because, our mind will be in little trance stage in those times and it is easy to register anything in sub-conscious mind in trance stage. In addition to that, repeating at regular intervals during the day is also needed.
To accomplish a task, here it is accepting a situation, patience is needed. Meditation is the best way that I suggest for patience. How does meditation help in getting patience? The reason is very simple; regular meditation helps the mind to become calm. Also, it helps control anger. How to do meditation? It’s a simple process but needs a bit practice. First of all, sit in a comfortable position with your spine straight, because there should be a proper flow of blood and air. Then, simply close your eyes and stop thinking. The problem that many people go through is that they cannot control thoughts. But, there is a way to control thoughts. If thoughts are coming in our mind, don’t try to control them because the more we try to control, the more thoughts we will get. Just observe them, but don’t interact with them, soon the thoughts will disappear. Whatever may be the number of thoughts, continue the same process. There will be a huge number on the first day, but, gradually the number comes down. Auto suggestions at the time of meditation will have a very positive effect. It’s very easy to combine these two, first start meditating and after stabilising the thoughts, we have to give auto suggestions and then again meditate.
In addition to accepting a situation, if we are passionate about doing each and every task that we come across, it will multiply the results. Whatever may be the task, do it with utmost passion. Try to enjoy simple things in life. If there is a passion in finding life in each and every moment, we will not feel difficulty in facing problems. In fact, we can have great experiences in solving those problems. How to be so passionate for every task? Again, my answer is auto suggestions.
To accomplish all the above points, positive thinking is a must. We can’t see positive change when we have a negative mindset. Positive and negative are two sides of a coin, which means, whatever maybe the thing or whoever maybe the person, there will be positive and negative in them. Finding good in something or someone is like digging for diamonds while digging for diamonds, you need to remove tons of dust to find grams of diamonds. In the same way, you have to see that good part by leaving bad of it.
A regular practice of all these points will help in finding the beauty of life.
Life always gives two choices everywhere, “Yes” or “No”. Happiness is also a choice; it depends on the decision whether we choose it or not. Let’s have a small thought-provoking question. Gautama Buddha was born in a royal family, and he didn’t know what suffering is, but, he was not that much happy until he found his inner happiness under the peepal tree. What made him that much happier, which he could not find in the palace? Try to think of it once, so that you may find some valuable answers…