Do You Lose Your Worth Because Of Pre Marital Sex?

Posted by Charanya Vijay
February 11, 2017

NOTE: This post has been self-published by the author. Anyone can write on Youth Ki Awaaz.

If  you make face and drop your jaw shouting “No No!” by hearing the term premarital sex, then I am sorry for you. You’ll be tagged as ‘outdated’ by the Young India. Premarital sex is no more a taboo. Majority of people agree to it and accept it.
But, is it right or wrong? Is it moral and ethical? Is this our culture? Isn’t this shame to the family? If you have such questions lined up, I’m sure you dare to ask those questions only to women.  According to the society, men are never bounded to this morals and culture, right? “Untorn hymen” is considered as the greatest honour a bride gives to her family while the loss of groom’s virgin is not at all a dishonour. Women should feel guilt for losing virginity and men can take it as an accolade, correct? Shame!
Why this? What’s wrong if women have sexual inclinations too? When she loves a guy and if they mutually decide for premarital sex, it’s absolutely their sexual right. By mentioning women I only mean those who are physically and emotionally matured. Not those (half baked) school/teen girls. Never!
It is estimated that average age of a person who lose virginity in India is 22 to 23. Will you be even astonished to know many of them lose it before their marriage?
Today’s younger generation are open minded and they choose things they need and what feels right.They decide to love, they decide to have sex and they also decide to play it safe. Until and unless they play safe, it’s not a thing to strangle is what I feel. (Coz I’m bloody against those abortions and worried about other infections.)
And yes, of course, still, there are some women who want to preserve their virginity for marriage and it’s again their own choice. I respect such women. But I also equally respect the women whose choice is vice versa. After all, choices are personal.
There is already a huge paradigm shift in the mindset of people. Virginity is a choice now, unlike those days. As you can see the trend of ‘live in relationships’ catching up in some cities, do you think the couples would be dumb to not have their sexual desires satiated? I know, If I talk such thing in my country, there will be a huge debate of controversy. Because it’s a place where women are even criticised for sitting with crossed legs or sometimes even for sitting in front of male family members. So how will a woman claim her sexual right even though sexual instincts are deeply imbibed in her genes!
 So now, if you want to argue with me by comparing your lifestyle, (or disciplined lifestyle, as you call it) with such women and degrade them, I want you to understand at the first place that contemporary lifestyle they live now unlocks multiple doors of opportunities to deeply interact with their partners and they also have plenteous opportunities for love making even before marriage, than the previous generations had. That’s the difference! Understand the exposure what they live with! For them, sex isn’t a dirty thing. They’re educated about it and they know what they’re doing!
If a woman is willing on her own without force, if she’s physically sound, if she could handle her emotions very well after it, and if she can take responsibility for her act (in case of pregnancy) then she’s not wrong! Sex is natural. Like how she has got a right to choose from her dresses to career she also got every right to choose this too. You can’t label her with a title ‘slut’ for being herself.
Stop judging. It’s not sexual purity that brings respect to a woman. Stop equating virginity to self worth.  There’s more to look up to a woman, than her virginity. Look at her attitude, not vagina!

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