Sex Is A Cute Word!

Posted by Barnana Hemoprava Sarkar
February 8, 2017

Self-Published

A friend of mine often says, “I don’t know. Sex is cute. I mean, look at the word, ‘sex’. Sex. It is cute!” Well, cute it indeed is. Also, did you know that ‘ a fossil called Bangiomorpha Pubescence is a multicellular organism that sexually reproduced, the oldest reported occurrence in the fossil record? B.Pubescences was not a fish or even an animal. It was a form of red algae or seaweed. It was seaweed that first had sex.’ [Vivien Cumming, BBC Earth]. Well, cute it indeed is.

To some sex might be one of the simple pleasures of life. To some, it is only an over-rated topic. To some, it is a way to carry on the bloodline. To some, it is a way for developing intimacy in a relationship. And to some, it is (now) a job. However, on an honest perspective, sex if the multicellular creature’s way of reproducing; unlike, single cell organisms which produce asexually. Although the reason behind the need to reproduce and carry on is still a blur, yet organisms have always chosen to indulge in sex and multiply; in spite of the single cell division always being a better and less complicated option.

To be asexual means to never have the need for a partner to produce offsprings with. But the urge to intercourse has lead the human race to multiple complications. Being a species which can feel rationally, reason with doubts and yet go through irrational emotional turmoils, sex automatically becomes a complicated issue, especially, in a world ruled by hand written laws and not Nature’s way. Maybe, a few laws are important since we have long chosen to live in a structural society.

 As Indians, our morality has always considered “no sex without marriage.” However, pre-marital sex in no offence. Only this, the legal bar is not have sex with wife of another person, without the consent of her husband. So yes, basically if the husband of the other wife says yes, and your own wife has no problem with it, then you are free to have sex with the other. That solves many problems. Maybe, one is allowed to have multiple sex partners, even after marriage, if he/she can convince his/her better half for it. ‘The Criminal law of ‘adultery’ (Section 497 IPC) is only for married women and men (even married) are free to have sex with any unmarried, widow or divorcee’ (Indian Chamber of Law).  ‘Definition of ‘adultery’ in civil law is to have sex with any person other than his/her spouse, which is altogether different from Section 497 IPC. If adultery is proved wife or husband is entitled to a decree of divorce.’ (Somwiter Vishnu vs Union of India).

This once again is categorized by choice. As mentioned earlier sex is for organisms, like us, to reproduce. Every single organism is on a quest to find that proper partner with whom they can reproduce better offsprings. But what is the need for an offspring in the first place. As German biologist Augustus Weismann, back in 1889, had said, ‘that sexual reproduction reshuffles genes to create “individual differences” upon which natural selection acts. Basically, sex is an opportunity for two organisms in the same species to pool their resources.’ Then why the need to treat sex like ‘fun’? I do not know. Neither do I understand why is an individual asked to get married, and then reproduce? Why are we told that we will have to be emotionally vulnerable, such that we are attached, to a person in order to have sex? Why can’t we simply choose a partner who has all the required traits that we would like our offsprings to have? Why then, do we have to consider ‘marital sex’ and ‘pre-marital sex’? For example, you are a free human being. You have certain hobbies like hockey and the piano. You believe in certain things, like the existence of Big Foot. You are hard working, honest and liberal. Certainly, you would want your offsprings to have your traits but you would also want them to be responsible, be a little better than you in certain things and definitely the famous ‘have a better life’. So, why go through the whole process of meeting the eye, bending the knee, and

As German biologist Augustus Weismann, back in 1889, had said, ‘that sexual reproduction reshuffles genes to create “individual differences” upon which natural selection acts. Basically, sex is an opportunity for two organisms in the same species to pool their resources.’ Then why the need to treat sex like ‘fun’? I do not know. Neither do I understand why is an individual asked to get married, and then reproduce? Why are we told that we will have to be emotionally vulnerable, such that we are attached, to a person in order to have sex? Why can’t we simply choose a partner who has all the required traits that we would like our offsprings to have? Why then, do we have to consider ‘marital sex’ and ‘pre-marital sex’?

For example, you are a free human being. You have certain hobbies like hockey and the piano. You believe in certain things, like the existence of Big Foot. You are hard working, honest and liberal. Certainly, you would want your offsprings to have your traits but you would also want them to be responsible, be a little better than you in certain things and definitely the famous ‘have a better life’. So, why go through the whole process of meeting the eye, bending the knee, and geting married? We can only look around, mingle a little, explore a little, till we find that proper partner with whom you would like to reproduce and then take care of your offspring till it is capable enough to take care of itself. Why the whole norm to marry? I think it would have been much simpler if we would stop tying the knots between sex and marriage. Honestly, in India, in a few cases where you have no say or where you have poor decision-making skills, there are possibilities that you might end up with one such partner who is nothing like the partner you wanted to be with.

Considering the phrase termed by Masters and Johnson, ‘sexual response cycle’, there are four phases to sex. The first phase which begins within ten to thirty seconds after erotic stimulation is excitement, where heart-rate, blood pressure and breathing begin to accelerate. In the second phase, that is plateau, “sex flush” may appear on the stomach, chest, shoulders, neck or face. Muscles tense in the thighs, hips, hands and buttocks, and spasms may begin. During orgasm, that is the third phase,  Muscle tension and blood vessel engorgement reach a peak. Finally, during the fourth phase or the resolution, the body relaxes. Imagine being with a person with whom your body can go right through all the enjoyment and later communicate in the most intimate manner. That person is worth staying on with. Now imagine a person with whom your body enjoys only half way and communication is only met half way…no law, no ritual, no spiritual upheaval, no moral code can keep you from walking away. It all boils down to that.

Sex is a way of knowing oneself, as well as understanding your level of compatibility with your partner. Partners with excellent communication skills have often been seen to split apart solely because the sex ‘wasn’t good enough’. On the other hand, some partners try to work and make things better because they are certain of the other half. Yes, sex is love. Your offsprings are the result of that love. If the right partner is found, one will never go exploring multiple sex partners. Instead, one will accompany one’s partner in bring up that life they have created.

Yes, sex is beautiful! It is a pity that, in our quest to be civilized, rational beings, we have spoiled the beauty by chaining it down with law and order. Are we growing so very weak inside, that we now need law to remain faithful to the person we love? Maybe.

Youth Ki Awaaz is an open platform where anybody can publish. This post does not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions.