Woman, You Won’t Be Perfect Till You Do These Things

Posted by Rohit Mishra in Feminism, Women Empowerment
February 22, 2017

Let me begin my write-up with a joke.

But wait! What if the joke that I write turns out to be too funny? Do you realize what grave consequences that would lead to?

You don’t? Let me enlighten you.

You might just start laughing too hard and then, your laughter might echo all around your house and if you are lucked out, that laughter would travel outside your house too.

That’s not the issue though.

The trouble begins when the people around hear your loud laughter. You are a woman and that’s not how you are supposed to laugh. You are not supposed to talk loudly either. If you laugh or talk loudly, you are undisciplined and manner less. Also, you are losing all your chances of finding the right groom. You must have already been informed about this by your mother. But see, you forgot. That’s a sign of a bad woman.

But worry not! I have changed my mind. I won’t tell you the joke. I just saved you from being called an undisciplined and unmarried woman. Thank me for that later (grin emoticon).

So we know we live in a society where women are born inferior to men. That’s the most correct sentence of all the other sentences.

But why do I see you swing your head in disagreement?

You don’t accept that? Okay.

Let’s imagine a situation. You are sitting among your relatives. You are around 23 years old. The girls your age are all married or almost married. They are all talking to these aunties. They are sharing cooking recipes and how nice their caring husbands are to not let them work at offices but stay home. They all ask you when you are going to get hitched and how many recipes you have learnt.

They ask you if you know mehendi (henna) designs or the art and craft that represent the glory of being a woman. They question you why you haven’t draped yourself in a saree or a duppatta over that kurti. Then, they look at the tattoo on your hand. Bad luck! They also see your phone’s wallpaper that shows a hot shirtless guy with a guitar. They are repelled even before you start speaking to them. They just realize that you are the girl that their mothers warned them about.

Photo credits: Flickr/Pedro

But anyway, you talk to them. You tell them that you are yet to learn cooking. You also tell them that you are not interested in being a housewife. You tell them about your passion for bikes and cars and about your dream of working in a big office and earning lots of rupees. You tell them that you have no plans of getting married any time soon.

LOS (Laugh Out Slow). Hold on now. None of them are listening to you. They just disappeared. They are with the right women and not you. What do you do now? You go and sit in a corner, on that chair. But yes, do not blame me if they call you dysfunctional and not friendly. Being a woman you are supposed to be very friendly and it’s a bad omen that you are sitting all alone.

I know, I know you want to tell me that I need to alter this imagination. For, the situations are changing now. Still, the question, is how far have we reached?

Of course, you work in offices but you are still expected to cook in the mornings as well as evenings. That too, all exotic dishes. Your godly husband can’t take it if you earn more than him although he has given you “permission” to work in the office. You are still supposed to follow a dress-code that’s meant for you. You are supposed to be straight as an arrow and still, be attracted only to the man your parents arrange for you.

You are not supposed to enter the kitchen while you are menstruating and you are not supposed to party after 7 p.m. No, you are also not supposed to talk to guys. That’s like watching porn. Oh my God! I just used an explicit word. God will punish me for this sin. But wait, I don’t believe in God. Haha! that’s a sin and sin destroys all my chances of being called a perfect person. Do not worry about me for now. Keep reading.

The list doesn’t end here. Apart from all these, you are supposed to tie your hands behind and not make a noise while a man hits you. You are supposed to learn to accept that you are incapable of making decisions. Yes! you are empowered now to take grocery based decisions at least. You are supposed to pay to get married and take the pain of child bearing. You are supposed to marry your rapist and also accept the blame of being raped. Or I’d rather say you are not supposed to live at all.

You are supposed to make sure that your hymen remains intact. Also, you must take care that your rotis (chapatti, an Indian bread) are round. Otherwise, who would marry you (If you are not married yet!)? If you don’t get married, who would you depend on? After all, you are incapable of being independent. I am sorry, if you are dark or short or unlike any beautiful woman. I can assure you, your life is going to be one big hell. Why don’t you prefer suicide to this ugly life? Oh wait! You can’t even do that. The char-log (literally, four people; used here to denote society) would judge your dead body as well as your parents.

Maybe, you are not even supposed to read an article like this. Isn’t this explicit? I don’t know. But I give zero fucks.

Live your life on your own terms. You are no less than any man on this earth.


Photo credits: Flickr/Julie Jordan Scott