Recollecting my thoughts of being with you brings nothing more than tears to my eyes. The first time we ever spoke felt so good and contending but as years flew by you became just another mistake I wanted to repent upon. I was so unsure about how I felt about being with you; I was so scared at the thought of spending the successive years with your demons. No matter what I did, how I did I was always less for you and I could only blame myself for letting you down. You were the most priced possession I ever had, the only storm I wanted to be a part of, the only misery I wanted to ruin me, the only fire I wanted to be burnt by.
It took me two fucking years to realise that I was more than just your rebukes and scolding. I was much more than the torture you had to offer. I was much more than just being your sex slave. Maybe I was too blinded by the thought of loving you and comforting you. Maybe I was too blinded by the idea that you love me too, or maybe I was just being an asshole. Today when I look back and see the self I was: I feel disgusted at the sight and me. You have possibly managed to make me hate you and loath every minute spent with you. Every time you’ve touched me makes me feel pathetic and cheap. But as they say not every investment is a waste, some fetch you profits and some experiences. You happen to be my biggest lesson, my biggest experience and a manual for every girl on “How not to lose your self-respect”.
But not being the selfish self (as you quoted) I would like to thank you for making me someone better, giving me some sense of self respect and making me ready for someone worth me.