It’s 8th march and my Whatsapp, Facebook inbox is already filled with women’s day messages. sitting in my room, scrolling down the timeline of my facebook I can see posts wishing women’s day, articles on their achievements, and celebrations of womanity. nobody is going to talk about how they slut-shame, abuse, dehumanise, objectify women in private. for today its only about celebrating the pride of womanhood I could no longer help but log out of my facebook. sometimes the bystander nature of people is extremely suffocating.
the whole hoopla around women’s day is ridiculous. for me it is a way of registering the fact that rest of the 364 days are men’s day. digging more into my thoughts i discovered the cleaver politics of patriarchy, how it disguised women by giving them a day of pseudo celebration of their existence. on march 8, 1917 in the capital of Russia , Petrograd, began a demonstration of women textile workers, covering the whole city. followed by that several other protests of women on different issues happened across the globe. there were they, women shouting for equal rights and visibility. and finally on 8th march, 1995 the united nations began celebrating the day as ‘international women’s day’. i wondered if there is any men’s day, but google came up with no such thing. there is no men’s day because they don’t need one. some people may judge me now for sounding so ‘feminazi’, but honestly i don’t care. i am not afraid of being labelled anymore. being a gender non-conforming queer man in a society which constantly pushes you to conform , i know how it feels like to be oppressed. in queer community feminine men are addressed to constant bulling and discrimination. for a man to behave like a woman derogates him as a human-being, since ‘femininity is derogatory’. we laugh at men wearing a saree but not on a woman wearing a jeans. her being like a man is a promotion but for him to be like a woman is disgusting. interestingly when a women wishes to travel an extra mile by not only dressing like a man but to become a man physically, it instantly triggers the outrage in the society. women are ‘goddesses’ in India, so they are beyond sexual desires. this desexualisation of women is a way of denying their sexuality and sexual identity. if a woman wants to be a man or comes out as a lesbian, the society immediately makes her understand though she is allowed to dress like a man sometimes, she can never be one and shouldn’t even dare to, and women are only mean to be loved and desired by men not women.
i think us, as a society have a problem not only with women but with the whole concept of womanity. and that can only be eradicated with proper gender sensitization. in this women’s day ,let we take a vow of building up a society of equality. we should stop judging women by their short dresses, we should stop feeding patriarchy anymore, we should refuse to be ignorant. while some will still be ignorant, there will be so many women who don’t even know something like ‘women’s day’ exists. today some of us will be indulged in a intellectual discussion over the significance of the day in an air conditioned cafe, there will be minor girls starving in brothels. there will be women who will be burnt, raped, abused, and murdered today. but still there will be celebrations, rallies, discounts on diamond jewelry exclusively foe women, celebrities will be wishing women’s day on channels, twitter. kalpana chawla, arundhuti bhattacharya to P V Sindhu will again be remembered for there achievements. there will special episodes empowering women on televation and so on. but in between all these noises the screaming of the girl being raped now will be lost, the woman crying after being abused by her husband will not be heard, the girl in her periods begging in the signals will be ignored, a female fetus will be aborted somewhere in a village of Haryana and nobody will know. nobody should know this today. who knows, we can be tagged as ‘Anti-nationalist’ if we talk about these things. so let us unitedly say, ‘we are proud Indians, we are happy, women are safe here, happy women’s day men’.