Playing the blame game never does anybody any good. The nation is constantly trying to fight against all odds, become a better place to live in and yet reaching nowhere. And that’s probably because there’s a conflict going on within that’s pulling us back more than it is propelling us forward. Men and women seem to be at war with each other and that just makes every effort worthless. We’ve always tried to make men understand the plight of women in this country and why they should be equally supportive of women’s rights and it is only fair that this time we look at the other side. Turns out, men have their own reasons (however much legitimate or foolish they may seem to others) for not being able to trust women anymore, let alone understanding them! We’re not trying to stereotype every woman in the world or paint them all with the same brush, just being honest in giving the women out there a piece of our minds, with all due respect! Read on as we try and decode exactly why men have lost complete trust in the other gender.
Men, especially those who have been in relationships, swear by the fact that there is no way to gauge what goes on inside a woman’s mind. They don’t say what they mean and don’t mean what they say. You can never know what they really want. Understanding a woman is one thing a lot of men have just given up on! Yes, it is a stereotype but well, looks like there’s a reason why some stereotypes exist.
Another reason why men have so many grudges against women is because every guy at some point in his life has gotten friend-zoned. We men think it is rather insensitive of women to knowingly mislead guys into believing they’re interested when they’re really not. And the world knows it—once in the friend-zone, always in the friend-zone. It only makes those women look insensitive and selfish. The worst part is, they don’t even seem to acknowledge that they do deliberately mislead us as per their own convenience.
Today, women have all the sympathy in the world. No denying that we need to make this country a better place for our women but not at the cost of ourselves being neglected in the process. Women don’t necessarily deserve sympathy for everything. We’re moving towards a direction where women are getting leverages at the cost of us. It disappoints to see how the world is getting biased towards them every day while our problems are not even considered genuine. Do you ever see people talking about crimes against men? Think about it.
The laws are horribly biased towards women. Dowry is a criminal offence but demanding alimony is not. If a woman files a molestation case against a man, it is instantly assumed that he’s guilty.
The nation is much more informed now and according to every recent survey and study, most rape and dowry cases filed by women are false. Now, we also know a lot of genuine cases go unreported and in no way are we trying to dilute the gravity of crimes against women in the country but let’s face it, a lot of women do misuse laws against men just because they can. And as unfortunate as it is, this has created a huge gap of mistrust between men and women. It is understandable why men constantly feel insecure and afraid of falling prey to such women.
We totally support women fighting back and protesting against crimes, we really do. But what we often get in return is a tag of being ‘potential rapists’. A ride in the public transport is incomplete for us men without hostile glances from female passengers. We’re constantly judged and looked at as if we’re trying to molest them. We’re stereotyped at every point. All men are not rapists but women just don’t seem to get it.
Indian men have also had enough of hypocrisy. It has become a fad to rant about how women are objectified all their lives by men, conveniently ignoring how an Indian man is insensitively reduced to his family wealth, bank balance and the company he works in. We know women have it difficult in India but men don’t have it easy either and it wouldn’t hurt if women could just acknowledge and understand it.
Most women who call themselves feminists have a very warped idea of the movement. They either want superiority of women over men in the name of feminism or just switch sides as per their convenience. They want equal pay, equal rights, equal opportunities, respect, freedom (which we totally support) but also want the reserved Ladies seat in the Delhi metro. They still expect men to pay the bill on dates, still want their chairs to be pulled and still want to be able to play the ‘woman card’ to have it easy. It just looks like women today want to lead an easy life at the cost of men. It is definitely not equality that they want and it’s quite evident to the other gender.
We’re not against feminism as we are against the way women are going about it, to be honest. Feminism is about giving women equal rights. It has nothing to do with hating men. But sadly, that’s exactly what feminism has come to be – misandry. It looks like they’re fighting against men instead of fighting against patriarchy, along with men. Their attitude has become rather spiteful in the recent times. While men are constantly trying to lend support and make women feel safe, they’re being made to feel like they are the problem.
Men are largely misunderstood, no matter what they do. A casual internet joke on women is enough to stir up a storm. Thanks to the sudden wave of feminism, a guy cannot even voice his preferences in women openly with the fear of being slammed for ‘objectifying’ women or being labeled as a douche-bag. It is perfectly fine for girls to prefer ‘tall, dark, handsome men’ but the moment a guy says he finds skinny girls hotter, all hell breaks loose!
And now that we’ve said all that we wanted to do, we wouldn’t stay far behind in acknowledging that there are always two sides to a story. We know women, too, might have a lot to say about this. We’re just trying to bridge the gap between the two genders and if one of you women reading this wants to step up and say something, we’ll be all ears. Let’s put an end to this gender war.
Kunwar Harshsushmita Vardhan