Appraisal meeting, Why they demoralize me ?

Posted by हरबंश सिंह
April 6, 2017

Self-Published

Starting of 2015, While I was  reading a newspaper at one advertise, My eyes stop to blink, It was a advertise where Online taxi booking agencies (Name does not mean here) described benefits if you or your driver join them with taxi vehicle and still a bee honey was mentioned in end of the page where they mentioned heavy discounts offered by car-dealers if new purchased vehicle would be joined to them.

For me its desire wish, where I could see an employment for my younger brother whose mechanical shop was not running to earn life lead money. We bought the Vehicle and after some days, We were realised, an advertise was different than reality and it could difficult to bear cost of running vehicle with compare of earn money from online taxi booking.  We were decided to not continue with online taxi agencies, Meanwhile, I had taken responsibility to fill EMI of our Car, Now along with Flat EMI, Both EMI count would be 31 thousand and those days, was very difficult to stay in office where I had not allocated any project and and placed me at one vacant place. Suddenly, I was become very known and unknown person at my working place.

Somewhere, in the same year, I had joined in my appraisal meeting where three people had welcome me with their silent gesture words, one had red eyes, other was keep smiling in his lips and another lady, keep silent, I suppose she had already instructed to keep quite or did not shown her presence.  Till, that time I did not know that my next two hours would be one of harsh time of my life. Meeting has started where one most senior person, narrated spark chat of mine with other colleagues, I was surprised how it was possible? This taught me that our every move had watched by hidden  eyes.

After this, suddenly many questioned with loud voice had thrown (not asked), where I did not applicable to address them beside to keep listen them silently, this fact realized that it was  something different than appraisal meeting, one odious  question, more than a statement  was enough to break my self-reliance. They said “Everyone in the office either belong to any department like HR, Account, Network, Dot Net, Mobile, etc.. would not like to speak with me, they better feel to ignore me. Whenever, you may contact them though spark, they first curse their self that why you approach them and then they reply back to you. No one in the office likes you.”  While, he further said “If you cannot believe it, let ask any one name and we will call them in your presence to get their opinion about you.” My EMI amount, which I had to pay in end of the month, realized me to keep quite.

He was better known that I had not allocated on any project, a bitter truth, all projects were allocated and nothing new came which could assign to free team, still he had asked “how much work you have allocated in last three months ?” I told them an exact figure, which was somewhere my 50% allocation of total work time, suddenly he punched his hand on the table, a frustration keeps coming from his eyes, I was shocked, that he was accepting sales target from me while I was belong to implementation team.  His anger glance from his face and he said “You must have total team strength of 10-12 people, who may work under your command.” I had managed to keep silent because no one in our department had allocated this much strength. Still, harassment was continue.

Next statement forced me to replied it, he said “Why, you are appreciating your team members?”, I told him that since last long work, we had deliver a bug free project release. He stopped to further question on it. A Next statement was enough to cremate me, he said “You cannot deserve a higher designation and you must be de-promoted to some junior designation.” And, now another person joined him, unfortunately he was my reporting head and he said “Let him shift in another department.” My eyes stop to blink, he was a person to whom I did not interact more then 4-5 hours if we consider total time period of 12 month, I was so independent with my work that I did not need him neither any other one, this was only possible if you perform a quality work as per your job and responsibility terms.

Another blame, they said “You are used to working in your comfortable zone.” Still another person now joined and said with reference of other project “Agar tum, is project main hotai to tumhari phat kai hath main aa jati” That means “If you are be part of this project then your ass must be bursts”.  It was shocked to me that how could he used this kind of words especially when a third person, as woman was also attendee of this meeting. My EMI, forced to keep quite. But I was feeling really shame. Meanwhile, In end they concluded that I could not belong to job where I was and this was a last warning to me, still I was not become mature (according to them), they could throw me out. With their permission, I have left the meeting. Truth, They had not raised my any first warning still I was leaving the meeting with last warning.

My EMI, Social and Family responsibility guided me to bear their comments and that continued for some more days, I had one questioned that beside to insult me why they could not restricted me? And still I have asked myself that Is it their satisfaction to demoralize me. After some months, I had resigned from their and by following all terms and condition, I had left them. After some months, I have words with one past colleague, he said “They reference you in their comments that they have thrown you from the office.” It was surprised for me, that still they keep me live. A lesson, I have learned to keep recognize your boss and expect it that they are always right, even they are not. But, what about your morality, honesty, etc.. , my soul said keep remember your EMI’s amount which you have to be paid in end of each month. Face the factual nature of the co-operate world else could be difficult to live here. Thank you.

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