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Message To My Future Self

I hope you are a fine man now, being great is better but no pressure here, I hope you outgrown yourself and that you’ve become a better version of you. I hope all your insecurities is gone now but I doubt it because you are the person who has the lowest self-esteem ever and that’s okay because that’s what made you who you are, you just need to cut yourself some slack okay?
   You are great. Maybe not by the society’s standard but you are great in someone’s eye, you are loved, you are worth it, and you are everything. I don’t know what made you think less of yourself, I don’t know what exactly happened but you can make it through, you will make it through. You have to because I’m counting on you.
   Remember those late night cries? You were such a crybaby crying and crying just because you’re such an emotional thing but I’m thankful for those times because you became better, stable, and braver. Being an adult doesn’t always mean that you have to be strong every time, that you have to be a stone, it’s not like that. Being a grown up means that you can still feel the pain, that you can still cry, but after those crying session you need to pick yourself up and conquer life. Whatever you do, wherever you are, all you need is to move forward.
   You are the most amazing person that I knew, you’re close to being a miss-goody-two-shoes and I still don’t know what to make of it. Honestly, I hope you have a life now. I hope you grown acquainted with the crowd, with the people, with the normal things normal people do. But I know you, you’ll do something because you like it and not because you are pressured to do it so with that I salute you.
   I hope you know better, do not belittle yourself. Decades of not trusting yourself, of not thinking you are good enough, of being someone’s shadow is enough. Conquer the world with confidence and the knowledge that you are great, no more self-shaming thoughts please.
   Please be better than me, have a purpose. I’m so done trying to fit in, trying to find my worth so please be great for me. We don’t need fame or the recognition, we need to be us. You need to be better and I know that I should be better for you too but in case I’m too weak for that I would ask you to work extra hard to fill in my lacking.
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