What is even more heartbreaking for such a person is that once they have found the courage to spread out about their problem to some people, the listener may first end up reacting with silence or by a change of topic. It has led me to realise that it is not so much that a friend in such situation doesnot care for the person concerned, than it is the fact that people have no idea how to respond to the situation to such person.
The thing is I considered to continue to be a good friend to everyone. You share, you speak, you put your emotions infront of everyone and in return either you will become the matter of judgment or people will support you. May be I was being foolish. The streets are noisy, the people don’t care and there’s always a train too crowded to get into. But each time, my city, my place reminded me that it was big, even uncaring enough for my mistakes. I trusted and now I have realized that may be it wasn’t the friendship that would be remembered or even cared for. But I know, my nature will always force me to remind those joyful friendship days.
I have realized that happiness should be in yourself. I found happiness in street foods and facing sun beating down my face, daring me to finally live. Cities moves fast, people changes fast and with them my dreams. Those dreams like loving everyone, making true friends, getting hopes and trusting everyone.
I want to live this life without any chaos, heartbreaks, expectations, fake promises, immature fairy tales, clinches and many more negativity. I deserve, you deserve, everyone deserves to be happy with exciting dreams, endless true friendships, love, family, millions of hopes, matured promises and freedom. Also, fights and misunderstandings are the part of life. May be it was my mistake, may be I was foolish, with this there is a sorry in me, thinking that a sorry can save a relation. But I will not compromise with my self respect. You should not compromise with your self respect, no one should compromise with their self respect. God has given this power to make a difference between right and wrong. I have that power and everyone should have that power.
I want to chase all those joyful moments again but for now I want to chase the endless sunrises, those promises of tomorrow to myself. But most of all I want to chase happiness for me, I want to chase millions of positive hopes for me. I want to find me. I want me to come back.
Note to self can bring note to many people.
“Love yourself, because you are brave. Smile for yourself, because you are amazing.”