“Ever stayed with a narcissist” Vs “Ever been raped”. Technically, people who are unaware of NPD ie Narcissistic Personality Disorder will condemn me for equalling the above questions. But those who have been through the tortures of a narcissist would know that my above questions are very much same. The problem with us is, we understand how it’s like if a body is molested, harassed, tortured but fail to understand its intensity when these things happen to a person’s mind or, to be precise, soul. Actually, to be honest, one cannot be blamed as the scars that our bodies receive are very much visible and so are easier to be cured than the ones a person’s mind receives.
So coming back to my point, ever stayed with a narcissist? God forbid. As much as I want everyone to understand the pain a narcissist’s victim goes through, I wouldn’t one anyone in this world to go through it. You stay with a narcissist, you live in hell. Correction. Rot in hell. And it’s hell forever. A narcissist is very much like those pitcher plants that first traps the insect and then engulfs it, slowly and painfully and once the victim’s sucked out of all its juices, enslaves him. And the victim, having nothing else to do, bows low. That’s the high point of a narcissist.
To do a quick introduction, actually, narcissists are those people who suffer from a mental disorder called Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Though various medical databases mark it rare, it isn’t. It’s very much similar to Bipolar Personality Disorder, only more dangerous, much more dangerous.
So how do you know who’s a narcissist? Some of the things mentioned below might help you,
1. NARCISSTS HAVE AN EXAGGERATED SENSE OF SELF IMPORTANCE
Now this isnt normal. Narcissists have this thing in such intensity that words like PROUDY or PUFFER CHESTY doesn’t cover it. Why would someone feel important even if they don’t have the achievements to warrant his importance? Why would someone expect favours or unquestioning compliance with their expectations? Why would someone want 24×7 attention? Because he’s a narcissist.
2. A FEELING THAT OTHERS ENVY THEM
Now this is a very destructive symptom of a narcissist. It is more destructive for the ones living around the narcissist than the narcissist himself. If a narcissist feels you’re envying him, he’d bring hell on earth to destroy you in every way possible. Now why would he think with you’re envying him with no possibilities? Because he’s a narcissist.
3. ZERO EMPATHY
Though not the first but it’s the most important symptom of a narcissist. A narc never cares about others. Never. His achievements are what he cares for and no matter whoever comes in between him and his goals, he’d destroy them.
4. HIS BEHAVIOUR
Behaving with always a sense self importance and hating those who doesn’t make him feel important isn’t normal. Narcissists behave in a weirdly haughty manner around those whom he considers eligible of enslavement.
“Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence, it’s not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal and value yourself more than you value others.”
The saddest thing about having a narcissist around is that, this Disorder in most cases is incurable. When a person is diagnosed with a disease, whether physical or mental, the foremost thing important to start the treatment is the patient’s willingness to co-operate with his doctor/therapist. You’re diagnosed with cancer. You’d want to get yourself cured. You’re diagnosed with depression, you’d want to be happy once again. Now that’s the “no-no” point in a narcissist. He doesn’t consider himself ill. Though he’s severely ill and needs immediate care, he thinks everything is normal in him. It’s the world that doesn’t treat him the way he deserves. So if there’s nothing wrong in me, why would I want to see a doctor? Now if the person somehow feels that his behaviour or attitude isn’t normal or isn’t the way it should be, he isn’t a narcissist. And if in any way heaven breaks loose on a narcissist and he feels he needs to cure himself, he can be cured with psychotherapy (talk-therapy). Actually, the word cure is wrong. Psychotherapy can loosen things and make things easier for the narcissist but in the end, the patient will himself have to throw out his disorder, get to his own shoes and understand his true value.
And there is so much more to this.
Narcissists are of various types. Narcissist partners are the most dangerous ones. A partner in the sense, a person who has a deep influence on us. A Narcissist parent and a romantic partner are both dangerous but in different ways. A Narcissist parent is a bit more difficult than a romantic partner because it’s tougher to get “no contact” with a Narcissist mom or dad than a Narcissist ex-husband/ex-boyfriend.
Again, symptoms in a Narcissist partner differ from those in a Narcissist you just see around. You might find the Narcissist in your neighbourhood irritating but the Narcissist partner is destructive.
The world needs so much more to know about this Disorder. There are various causes that can create the demon called narcissism in a person. And when a person, correction, victim lives with a Narcissist, and there’s no way you can go no contact with the Narcissist, there are a few safety tips the victim needs to constantly remind himself of, to keep himself from apparent soul-suicide, so that one day when the victim comes out of the Narcissist’s clutches he doesn’t fall in the hands of another narcissist.