I was in first year of college when I had my first anxiety attack, I make fun of myself thinking of that phase now which once made me suicidal. This brings me to the first mantra that I have created- Take things lightly. Even in the worst of the situations remember it is not the end of the world as nothing lasts forever, night fades away to bring sunshine.What helped me getting out of that phase was friends, constant and love support from parents which brings my second mantra- Stay connected. Treasure people who value you, need not be many in number. Remember quality matters not quantity. The biggest fear at that time was “Will I be able to get out of this ever?’, “Will I be able to able to trust someone again?”, these questions taught me one of the biggest lesson of my life- Life moves on. And most importantly, once you get out of depression you emerge stronger, fiercer and bolder because What doesn’t kills you makes you stronger. Fighting against yourself is toughest, you have been to your lowest, fought bravely and came out of it on your own, that makes you a warrior. Don’t compare timelines, how much time it took to come out of it. Just for your information I took 3 years to come out of it, I don’t feel any bad about. Just like in mountaineering its not about coming first, its about crossing the obstacle and reaching to destination. Few lifestyle changes that I made:
After I came out of it, I recollected these memories-I was 12 when my uncle had nervous breakdown, 14 when my mother had anxiety disorder, 17 when I saw my sister sleepless for months and 18 when finally I had my first phase of depression and now when I am 24, my brother is battling with it! Something runs in my genes, out of curiosity I picked up ‘The Gene’, by Siddhartha Mukherjee.
“His cousin and two of his uncles “suffered from various unraveling of the mind,” and the specter of mental illness, presumably inherited or inheritable, haunts his family and his imagination.”
First thought that came through my mind was-“How mental disorders too travel through generations just like cancer, the theory of inheritance is too complex to understand and they don’t leave scars on body so get away unnoticed”. It is as normal as a fever we get, if that remains for a prolonged period do we sit at home quietly then why in case of mental disorders? I have high hopes that the day comes soon when we treat mental disorders with sensitivity and can discuss depression as easily as we talk about cold and cough.