What is Love?
True love could mean different things for different people.
I have thought about it for a while. What defines true love? Is it as surreal and transcendental as we expect it to be? Is it about the larger picture or the little things? Is it defined by the absence or the presence of the object of your love?
After reading this, a lot of people might either judge me or sympathize with me. With due respect to everyone’s feelings and opinions, I request everyone to abstain from reacting. I would be glad if what I am going to write could be helpful to any of you with respect to your own lives.
Last year in February, I met a girl of simplicity and intelligence. She had the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. I fell for her and had this insanely beautiful feeling of love and warmth towards her. Though she was different from me but I felt like I could emotionally connect with her. With the passing of time, our conversations got intense and long and we had increased our bonding but it did not last for long/was all shattered.
The love is one sided, it is from my side and it has helped me understand the meaning of true love. Before this wonderful oojah, I did not believe in love, I was someone who never saw any girl in that light, someone who could not connect to anyone on the emotional level. I would run behind the girls to get in the “cool guy” brigade. I was an emotionless person who always thought about love as emotional bullshit. It is only when I suffered through the pain of one sided love that I realized that true love exists.
To minimize or to overcome my feelings for her, I talked to my close friends. They suggested me to get involved in other things to deviate myself from thinking about her. Also, some friends of mine suggested me to talk to other girls, to flirt with them and even go on a date. I started watching movies and started reading books to divert my attention. I started talking to girls, flirted and asked them out for dates but I felt like I was cheating on her, I felt ashamed of myself. “If you love someone then you should not cheat on her”, it kept running in the back of my mind and that made me cry because of the guilt. I realized that these ideas, given by my friends were pathetically useless and irrelevant.
The girl whom I love has a wonderful smile and I can’t get over her, ever.
When I was five, my father died in a road accident which destroyed my mother’s life and at that time, my relatives told my mother to re-marry but my mother never agreed. She never stopped loving him, even after he was gone. I got to know about this when I was about fifteen, I asked my mother the reason for not remarrying, we could have had a better life, I had said. She smiled and replied, “When you fall in love, you will get the answer”. At that time, I joked about it but today, it is a sweet pain of my life. We know that movies are not true but somehow, they helped me understand myself more, you can relate all factors if you take it in a right manner. I was watching the movie ‘P.S. I Love You’, in which I understood that you don’t need to be alive to love someone. In the story, what the husband has planned for his wife for after his death made my love stronger too. I know it was a movie and anything could happen in a movie but what I realized is that movies and real life complement each other. Sometimes, movies are based on the real life instances and sometimes, real life instances are no less than a scene from a movie.
A lot of people told me to forget her and showed sympathy by saying that she was not made for me, that I’ll get another one. I don’t feel that she is not for me, maybe she is for me but I am not for her. I might meet someone else but how would I ever love her, how? Lover never fades.
I am putting forth some thoughts on why true love never fades. All of us love our parents, we truly love them. What happens when they die? What if they leave you or stop talking to you? Would you stop loving your parents? No, because your lover never fades as it is intense, beyond the earthly concepts of right and wrong and no one can replace them and their love. It is almost otherworldly. To love someone or not is based on how you feel about them. But not loving someone after having a relationship is a myth that we constantly feed ourselves, because we think that what we have with our can be replaced anytime and that, we have no love for them. We discard the relationship in this manner that there was no such feeling as love and it is very shameful, really. Maybe it wasn’t, I understand that there are some challenges which make things difficult but handling everything with love and trust makes it all simple and that is love. It means growing together.
For me, love is selfless, a sacrifice, to give without expecting anything. If it is parental love, friends love or any other type of love then there would always be sacrifices and compromises. I’m comparing my love with the love of parents and friends because when you love someone that much, you want that person to be in your life like your family, so I think of her as my family.
Meera Bai, a devotee of (Lord) Krishna treated him as her husband. According to the tale, Meera Bai had an intense love for Krishna so she devoted herself to him. I don’t know the facts but if it was true then this is true love for me. She was expecting nothing from him, she loved him, and him only. This story inspired me and I went through a thought process, analyzed the situation put up by my emotions with different situations and realized that all the men need to understand the meaning of true love. We should stop behaving like we are incapable of feeling all these emotions, of being sensitive. We should stop treating women like commodities which could be replaced. If you love someone and you don’t get her/him, then don’t give up, because if it is true love, it will never fade, whether you get that person or not.
I love my family, so do you and after marriage, one more person comes into your family and life, as your life partner. They become a part of your family and you love them unconditionally. I love her profoundly so she is now a part of my family, as my life partner. We are not married and might never be but she is right here, with me, in my heart.
I will always consider her as my life partner and no one can replace her because my love for her will never fade.