10 things I want to say to Indian Mothers, this Mother’s Day

Posted by Abhismita Sen
May 14, 2017


Dear mom,

First of all thanks for having me and choosing to be with me all these years. Thanks for educating me and providing me with my meals regularly,ensuring that I eat in time,get adequate sleep and rest, thanks for always helping me to discover stuff ,I lost,for cleaning my room,when I didn’t have time or was just too lazy,for packing my bags,dropping or picking me up from school in time and trying to make a lady out of me,but its time we talk beyond these basics!

Mom,just like you have a lot of expectations from me,I have a lot from you too and your and your fraternity of Indian moms fail us every day.

It is time that we sort this ‘generation gap’ out and talk,so here I begin.

  • 1. First of all my marital status doesn’t define me 

So what if the neighbour’s daughter got married at 24, and I didn’t? Does that mean I’m matrimonially ineligible? And what is this obsession with marriage? Please understand that my life is much more than those 7 vows and I want take my time, so that I do not disappoint you as a consequence of decisions taken in haste.

2. Please stop comparing me with others 

I never  compared you with the mothers of my acquaintances and give up thinking that the examples of others would change me,please?

3. Please stop body shaming me

I’m proud of you the way you are, you should learn to accept me the way I’m too, don’t you think?

4. Stop judging me! 

Coming late from work doesn’t mean partying or going for dates, love for trendy clothes doesn’t mean being needy and obviously my friends are not screwed up, mom! I am an independent woman, I do not get carried away as easily as you think!

5. No, I am neither a doctor, nor an engineer and that shouldn’t embarrass you!

I followed my dreams and chose a profession,I am passionate  about, isn’t this reason enough,for you to be proud of me?

6. I have had my share of experiments with men and sexuality and this doesn’t sabotage my chances of ‘landing’ a suitable match as you think

I have the right to choose my partner, the right one and to enjoy myself. Its not that each time I date a guy, I look for a prospective husband,I’m an adult enjoying a CONSENSUAL relationship with another adult,may be at times just looking for some company and fun or a long term togetherness at others,but being involved in multiple relations,which did not or were not meant to culminate in marriage,do not make me a slut. People who think so are outright regressive and you shouldn’t be one of them.

7. Accept the fact that I may be a believer of the faith I was born with,a practitioner of some other faith that attracted me eventually in life, an agnostic or an atheist altogether and neither makes me an immoral person.

I certainly remember the class 7 civics lessons of India being a secular nation, that you taught me.

8. You should be proud of my sexual orientation. 

Yes , I am perfectly straight,thanks! But why is the mention of a different orientation freaking you out? Didn’t you worship the ardnarishwar and teach me that no live is amoral?

9. Periods are not a crime that they need to be whispered about! 

I bleed because I can reproduce,why should I be ashamed of it? If I was infertile, I would be pitied and being fertile too needs to be whispered. Strange country!

10. And ultimately, I may not show but I care 

I may not call you every 5 minutes, but you are my mortal God, so make yourself worth my adore and always remember that my love comes without conditions! Happy Mother’s Day!

Yours Sincerely,

Your Good For Nothing Child 

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