This post has been self-published on Youth Ki Awaaz by Sruthi Varghese. Just like them, anyone can publish on Youth Ki Awaaz.

A Write Up For Girls Inspired by The Swami Incident

I was thinking of writing this for many days. But could do it only today. What I am going to say now is from personal experiences. Not from any religious texts or academic books or motivational speakers. I am just 27 years. That doesn’t mean I am not old enough/ experienced enough to tell the following things. As I said previously, I am speaking this from enough of personal experience. So, kindly listen.

That said, THIS IS FOR GIRLS. (Because I’m born a girl). I am here to speak only from the side of a girl although I can understand a man very well too. I respect all humans. Be it man/ woman/ transgender/ if any other gender is there on earth. And here goes the list of things I want to share with you.

1. Understand that you are born a girl and it’s men’s world that you live in. You can see this very much at your own home. No need to go elsewhere. And the world is just it’s extension. Even women can carry men’s brains. That’s the way the world is. Understand that!

2. Because you are born a girl and not a boy, there is nothing to be looked down at. Say to yourself, “I AM A GIRL. I AM VERY GOOD. I AM VERY SMART.” Repeat this to you every now and then like a prayer. Do it even before a mirror. Anyhow you and I spend a lot of time before it to dress up and for putting make up. This is very much needed than that. Love yourself. Respect yourself. Love your body too. Even respect that.

3. Spend at least 10-20 minutes daily for yourself. Make it a habit. You can pray. Meditate. Or talk to yourself. But, do it! Understand that in life you will be alone. You are born alone. Will die alone. You should also learn to live, to carry yourself alone as a girl/ woman even when nobody is with you.

4. Learn to say- “NO!” Make it a practice. Start it from home. Then to school, college, workplace or with anyone and everyone. You are born to live with dignity. If anyone (be it your parent, teacher, swami, priest, boss, or any human being) try to hurt it with their looks, words or deeds, say cut and right “NO” frankly. You need not have to fear them for they are doing something wrong and unacceptable. If you don’t know how to do it, watch some Indian films with policemen as heroes. They shall teach you.

5. There are enough of idiots living all around. You shall come across them on a daily basis. Your eyes and tongue are the most gifted and powerful organs that shall help you protect yourself at those situations. You should be able to burn anybody at stake by your eyes alone. Just a strong and powerful stare can make things better for you. Cutting/Murdering are no solutions. They are extreme actions and can make you feel guilty at some point. Plus you’ll only be blamed. Don’t allow it to go that extent. It’s very simple. Eyes and tongue work very well. Even better,if you learn some martial art. It can give you confidence plus very effective for self-defence. Cowards only place hands on woman/ they should be criminals. You are living in the midst of them. So don’t leave them free. Strike at hand or scream aloud. You may get the world standing with you. But not doing that and if you are sitting and weeping later, you will be termed stupid. You’ll be blamed later. Will become a total loser. Don’t do that! Always act wisely! ACT and ACT. DON’T BE SILENT! IT GIVES YOU NOTHING. Keep in mind!

6. Keep a diary. Write down everything that you want to share, in it. Your good and bad times. Your worries and anxieties. Your concerns. Your ambitions. Your happiness. Your achievements. Your love. Your self. Your true self! (Writing a diary can improve writing too.) Keep it very personal. Show it to no one. If someone tries to read it, without your knowledge, understand he or she is an idiot. Personal diary is for writing your self and reading your self. It’s not an entertainment book. The world can read after your death if it’s that entertaining.

7. Trust yourself. Make yourself the best parent, friend, lover and boss for yourself. You should be able to boost yourself up when somebody you need is not with you when you actually want.

8. Keep good friends. Good friends are those who will at least be willing to listen to you in your sad occasions. They might not be passive listeners but will also comfort you by their words. Also will come up with some solutions to help you in your adversities.You’ll not have them in large number. May be only a few. It’s perfectly fine. They will criticize you too. It’s also good. They are helping you to correct yourself. Communicate things to them. Also have good communication with your parents and teachers. However, I am very much unsure about them. They have poor listening capacity and more criticizing and teaching capacity is what I usually have seen. Exceptions are definitely there. Anyhow, the point is you should have someone to share your mind. That’s all.

9. Engage with everyone. But keep a mental distance with everyone. If you are intelligent enough, you will be able to understand the character of a person by the way he/she deals with you and others. The true character will usually be revealed how he/she behaves to a child, a woman, a servant, an employee, a stranger and to someone whom he/she knows well and is in need. This person also will not change the behavior towards you when someone talks ill of you. There are multiple character personalities. Some will smile at you. But the moment you disappear, new stories about you are being scripted. They will again smile at you next time when you meet them. This would be the majority. Humans know to act very well in real life. Keep the mental distance with them like miles. So you’ll remain safe. Use the say-NO-factor here too!

10. Be honest. Always. If you learn to live that trait, even when the whole world turns against you, nothing can pull you down. You will have the solace of truth then. For your entire life!

(This is for now. If I see more girls getting benefitted from this, I shall write further. Build a safe world for you, yourself. Nobody else will do it for you.)

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  1. Dimple Meera Jom

    Adding my experience to the above article(point number 6) with a hope that it might enlighten someone.
    6. I used to do it. Emphasizing the word used. When I was a kid I always knew there is a different world inside me. Never knew anyone would ever understand that world. A few months ago, I read my old diaries. Surprisingly, those little things, incidents and thoughts I jotted have turned out to be my ideologies. And the reason why I stopped writing diary is just because I have stopped living two worlds. Gradually and unconsciously, I have learnt to practice my inner thoughts.

  2. Dimple Meera Jom

    Adding my experience to the point 6:

    6. I used to do it. Emphasizing the word used. When I was a kid I always knew there is a different world inside me. Never knew anyone would ever understand that world. A few months ago, I read my old diaries. Surprisingly, those little things, incidents and thoughts I jotted have turned out to be my ideologies. And the reason why I stopped writing diary is just because I have stopped living two worlds. Gradually and unconsciously, I have learnt to practice my inner thoughts.

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