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Do relationships need physical intimacy to survive?

Posted by Hardik Lashkari
May 11, 2017

NOTE: This post has been self-published by the author. Anyone can write on Youth Ki Awaaz.

“It’s been 6 months Ananya, since I proposed you and you said yes to me”, Swastik told Ananya while lying beside her on bed in the dim lights of his bedroom.

“6 months is a long time to get in physical with each other; even after knowing each other for over a year now.”

“But, I was not comfortable then; even I am not so comfortable now also.”

“Means, you don’t trust me even now Ananya; Come on we are in 21st century; stop reacting like a narrow minded Indian Girl. This intimacy shall allow us to be even closer to each other; our mutual trust and love will increase after today.”

While Ananya was quite scared and feeling uncomfortable after what happened for last 2 hours or so in that room, Swastik kept on convincing her in the name of strong bonding and love.

Swastik and Ananya were pursuing the same professional course and studied in the same coaching classes. They knew each other since last 2 years; and were friends from last 1 year or so.

While Swastik was a typical cool attitude carrying person, Ananya was a shy and innocent girl. But it was her cuteness and beauty that killed Swastik each time he faced her.

The friendship that started with exchange of notes then passed through several late night talks, continuous leg pulling, daily class bunks and numerous love and fight stages. But as the days passed, they became best friends and then bestest friends.

But Swastik wanted to go even one step further. He was mesmerised by her beauty, her cuteness, her smile, her talks, her behaviour & her care for him.

Finally 13th Feb was the day; he decided that it was the day to express him. 14th Feb, the day of love was arriving in next 2 hours, and here Swastik was ready to propose Ananya.

He messaged her on whatsapp, “Hey dinner kiya?” and got an instant reply “Yes, done; tumne kiya?”

But how could Swastik even digest anything when his heartbeats were about to touch sky; he even skipped his afternoon lunch that day because of anxiety. But he didn’t want to show Ananya his excitement and condition of heart; hence he replied, “Ha kiya”.

“Ananya, kuch kehna tha tujhse agar free hai to?”

I haven’t understood mind set of boys behind this question. Even when we know the reply already that she would say after this, still we tend to ask this question just to console our hearts.

“I don’t want to be friends with you any more. I like you and just want to make you my partner for life. Will you make me the luckiest person of the world? Will you be my girlfriend?”

And Swastik, in matter of 10 seconds narrated his heart’s entire story to Ananya. She was surprised and happy inside. Even this is what she felt for Swastik.

“Sweetona, it’s more than 3 months since our relationship began, but we have not kissed each other even once.”

“I don’t feel it to be right. I love you and you love me. We have entire life to do this. Let’s keep the relation pure.”

“Sweet heart, its more than 1 month since we kissed, lets get physical. It will allow us to remain closer to each other.”

“I think it is against the morals of our culture. Getting physical before marriage would cause lot of problems.”

“You don’t trust me? I promise nobody would know about it; we’ll keep it to each other.”

“But why are you forcing me shona. We have all our life to do this. Lets get settled, and then marry and I’ll be all yours physically and mentally.”

“I never saw a girl as narrow minded as you. I thought we would make our relationship stronger. But seems you want to remain in that nutshell only.”

And finally, today they both made love to each other as Swastik was having an urge to ‘explore’ Ananya more.

I don’t know if physical intimacy is the necessity of any relationship. How would I know? I have never been in a relationship till now.

I know, that urge to explore the body of a girl more and more is one need that every boy including me carries with himself all through the adulthood. But I really don’t understand why we spoil the life of a girl just to satisfy our sexual needs. If somebody tells a girl to get intimated, just in the name of making relationship better, he is clearly giving more importance, or I must say the whole importance to her body.

But, I am even more upset about the mentality of girls. I know boys are creep like anything and they are going to demand for such intimations till this world exist, but girls should understand that no relationship needs physical intimacy to survive. You can satisfy the immediate needs of the boy, but in order to satisfy his mental needs, you need to be brave enough to say sorry and ignore his unnecessary demands.

Sending private photos, having web cam sessions and satisfying his sexual urges etc. are not the objectives for which you are in the relationship. And if this has become the ultimate demand of him, then sorry, its time to maintain that distance from him.

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