I was emotionally broken as I had a recent breakup with my girlfriend with whom I was with six months. I know the time period sounds a little weird but we were very close or as I believed. During that time we did make out few times but were not physical as she suggested to wait for the right time. I was totally in support of that.
The other day I was sitting with my cousin who is also my good friend and was talking about my failed relationship, he suggested to hire a sex worker. I rejected his offer instantly but he insisted again and again and I don’t know what happened to me that I agreed.
Believe me or not but I am that kind of guy who can’t even watch sex or rape scenes on T.V. I found that very disturbing. So as I agreed, he made some phone calls and his guy sent some pics. He chose a girl from those and negotiate rates. We picked her in a cab from a place which he mentioned on phone and took her to a hotel. I was very nervous because it was my first time and that too with a sex worker. I called one of my close friends who have been with many hookers. He told me to do whatever my gut says. Now it was the time, I was 5 beers down so I was not much aware of my mental condition.
I entered the room and locked the door. She welcomed me and asked whether it was my first time and I replied in yes. We started chatting for some time in which I became close to her. We talked about my past relationship and other things and then it all started and I did it.
I would be lying if I said that I didn’t enjoy it but the after talk made me realize that what a disgraceful thing I have done. She said and I quote “Abhi aapki padhne likhne ki umar hai, in sab chakkaro me mat padiye”. I felt disgusted. I know that I have done a horrible thing and I know that I can’t make it right.
I just want to say that I took a support in a sex worker’s arms to cope with my loneliness and it didn’t work, in fact, it made me feel much worse than before.