I Was Raped At A Age When I Didn’t Know The Meaning of Rape

Posted by Arpan Menghnani
May 23, 2017

Self-Published

It’s been 9 years and the thought of it still haunts me, how can I ever forget those life changing 3 days of my life wherein I understood the meaning of life? I am 22 now l, I was 13 then. A boy who claimed to be my friend called me over his place so that he could help me fill some songs in my newly bought mobile. I was so excited that I would use earphones like everyone else and enjoy the tunes of my favourite song. Little did I know I would be raped by the same friend for the next 3 days. I was raped at an age when I didn’t know what exactly rape meant. I was forced, I was bare bodied all the time. I was tied up, I used to pee on and then lie in the same bed. That ruthless man was either not a human or didn’t consider me one. All the objects that could go inside my vagaina, were forced inside (a fork,spoon, remote). Every damn thing. All I wished was to get out of here and tell everyone what a man he was. But destiny had written something else for me, I realised I am a girl born in an Indian family where values and morals are more than a human being, where respect was equal to the virginity of a girl. I somehow escaped that house, I came back home crying to my mom. She was worried, as I thought she would be. When I narrated the story to her, I thought she would help me but she asked me to shut up. She told me if I wanted to see my dad alive and if I wanted to show everyone in a bad light I could go and tell everyone about it and no one would talk to me or marry me after that. I was in a dilemma, but before I could tell anyone, I was locked inside a room with no one to talk to. For 6 months I was inside my home and I was not even allowed to go in the compound of the house. I missed 3 months of my school, but I felt like I lost everything. It’s been 9 years and closed rooms still haunt me. Being a girl still haunts me. And not having spoken for myself, makes me hate myself. But I had to get over it, I couldn’t just think about the same thing and spoil my life. So what I did was very simple, I just learnt to live a normal life around everyone and accepted the fact that it has happened was just another lesson. I couldn’t speak for myself then but now I never tolerate injustice. I am 22 now and I am doing pretty well in my career and I have quality not quantity of friends in my life, I love my family still the same and I learnt that it was not my mistake that I shouldn’t spoil my life because of it and what most of the people do is they don’t try to live a normal life what they do is they think that they are changed and nobody understands them ,they make a self build wall between them and the world instead what they should do is try to communicate.

Youth Ki Awaaz is an open platform where anybody can publish. This post does not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions.