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I Was Raped At A Age When I Didn’t Know The Meaning of Rape

Posted by Arpan Menghnani
May 23, 2017

NOTE: This post has been self-published by the author. Anyone can write on Youth Ki Awaaz.

It’s been 9 years and the thought of it still haunts me, how can I ever forget those life changing 3 days of my life wherein I understood the meaning of life? I am 22 now l, I was 13 then. A boy who claimed to be my friend called me over his place so that he could help me fill some songs in my newly bought mobile. I was so excited that I would use earphones like everyone else and enjoy the tunes of my favourite song. Little did I know I would be raped by the same friend for the next 3 days. I was raped at an age when I didn’t know what exactly rape meant. I was forced, I was bare bodied all the time. I was tied up, I used to pee on and then lie in the same bed. That ruthless man was either not a human or didn’t consider me one. All the objects that could go inside my vagaina, were forced inside (a fork,spoon, remote). Every damn thing. All I wished was to get out of here and tell everyone what a man he was. But destiny had written something else for me, I realised I am a girl born in an Indian family where values and morals are more than a human being, where respect was equal to the virginity of a girl. I somehow escaped that house, I came back home crying to my mom. She was worried, as I thought she would be. When I narrated the story to her, I thought she would help me but she asked me to shut up. She told me if I wanted to see my dad alive and if I wanted to show everyone in a bad light I could go and tell everyone about it and no one would talk to me or marry me after that. I was in a dilemma, but before I could tell anyone, I was locked inside a room with no one to talk to. For 6 months I was inside my home and I was not even allowed to go in the compound of the house. I missed 3 months of my school, but I felt like I lost everything. It’s been 9 years and closed rooms still haunt me. Being a girl still haunts me. And not having spoken for myself, makes me hate myself. But I had to get over it, I couldn’t just think about the same thing and spoil my life. So what I did was very simple, I just learnt to live a normal life around everyone and accepted the fact that it has happened was just another lesson. I couldn’t speak for myself then but now I never tolerate injustice. I am 22 now and I am doing pretty well in my career and I have quality not quantity of friends in my life, I love my family still the same and I learnt that it was not my mistake that I shouldn’t spoil my life because of it and what most of the people do is they don’t try to live a normal life what they do is they think that they are changed and nobody understands them ,they make a self build wall between them and the world instead what they should do is try to communicate.

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